My son and daughter in law have had a very tumultuous relationship, breaking up several times over the years. Last year after a break up in Feb 2007 they decided to plan their wedding. They are both young, 21-22 and I thought to myself...no problem they will break up before the wedding which was scheduled some months away in Oct 2007.
The bride to be began immediate plans, and got her dress, hall and made most of the arrangements within a week. Then she announces she won't marry without a house. So they started viewing homes for sale and settled on a home they both liked. My son put up the deposit, and purchased all the furniture. They moved in in May (prior to marriage)
Then I get the news she is pregnant. Although surprised, we all supported the pregnancy and planned for the new one. The wedding went on as planned in Oct 2007. One month later her friends came forth and said they couldn't keep it any longer, but she had had an affair for quite some time and the baby possibly wasn't his. He was devastated, but she insisted she had stopped having sex with the other man in plenty of time prior to getting pregnant. My son requested a DNA test at birth. She agreed. My son felt that the test would not only prove the child was his, but reaffirm his belief in what she had told him about not being with the other guy. We planned baby showers, bought gifts and has special things for the "new little one" under our Christmas tree.
In February the baby was born...and the DNA test preformed. The results came back that there is NO way he could be the child's father. He was devastated and felt betrayed as did our entire family.
The daughter in law never shared a thing with her mother...and her mother just called me and accused me of being the problem of breaking they up. I am sick inside. I have stood by my son and not interfered even when I thought his choices were questionable.

This is just tearing me apart. Neither can afford the house alone, and my son alone has all the equity in the home. Her mother feels her daughter should have the house.
This is a mess. She contributed 1000 to the down payment which, my son returned to her.
What on earth can we do now? Any kind words of encouragement are appreciated. I am heartbroken for my son.

N0help4u

Don't let what her mother says get to you. Let her scream and carry on. If she is level headed enough you might be able to tell her your side of the story, if she isn't level headed enough let her believe whatever she wants and hang up on her if you have to. Maybe the friends that informed you could inform her mom. She is not going to listen to you most likely.
Right now does your son want out of the marriage?
Is his name on the birth certificate?

He is either going to have to cut his losses and leave her -file for bankruptcy if it comes down to it, or he is going to have to file for divorce and let a Judge decide everything-which could be the worse of the choices. Since the baby isn't his that should relieve him of a lot of financial responsibility that others would end up with in this situation if his name isn't on the bc.
Also even if he wants a divorce now, with their history and enough promises from her they could end up back together.
All you can do is support him emotionally and with whatever his decisions as you have been. I have seen many times where a third party will stick up for their kid, their sister or whoever and then the couple get back together and they are the no good outcast so avoid putting her down and coming off as taking sides unless it serves an important purpose.

tnt76

You are doing everything that you can do in this situation. You have been supportive even when you knew in your heart that something wasn't quite right. Your son has some pretty tough decisions to make right now. Even though he may have put all the money into the house, because they were married, she does have some right to the equity if there is any. The biggest decision he has to make however is how he will see this baby. The baby is the innocent party in all of this. If he decides to have no part in the baby's life, then he should do what he needs to do right now to have his name removed from the BC. The longer he waits to do this, the harder it will be. Whatever decisions he makes, all you can do is continue to be supportive as you have been doing. It sounds to me like this girl has just passed on the opportunity to join a really great family.

katrina27

i am so sorry for you . my advice is sell the house, and agree to split the profits with her. no she does not deserve a penny, but they sound like the type of people who would drag you througyh the courts. that is the last thing your son needs. sell the furniture and split profits. CUT THE LOSES AND GET YOUR SON AWAY FROM THEM. none of it was your fault.

talaniman

I feel your pain, but can only advise you to back off, ignore everyone's ingnorance, and let your son handle his business the best way he can. Be supportive, but leave the decision up to him, because right or wrong ,he chose his path, and must now walk it himself.