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Home > Family & People > Parenting   »   how to get my mama to say yes

 
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Old Jun 15, 2008, 04:20 PM
TwinkletOes26
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how to get my mama to say yes

Im a 26 yr old college grad...well my old college buddy(a girl) asked me to go with her to a goodie mob concert. I want to go but i do not know how to get my mom to let me. Shes very overprotective(i cant swim bc she wouldnt let me take lessons at the rec center bc "the white people would drown me) and VERY crazy (read my knife wielding mama post).

Im afraid she wont let me because its in the city and ill have to spend the night with my friend so she doesnt have to drive me back home so late. The concert is free so my mom nor I will have to fork over any money. My question is can i get some advice from you parents on how to ask her in a way that you guys would think my mama will say yes to(im very aware that as an adult i could just leave no matter what she says but out of respect for my mother i try to obey her wishes no matter how crazy until i can move).

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Old Jun 15, 2008, 04:25 PM   #2  
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not sure what county you live in, or what is your nationality, since cultues vary alot as to what is allowed.

In the US, at 26 years old, if you want to go, you go, you don't need anyones permission.
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Old Jun 15, 2008, 04:48 PM   #3  
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Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
not sure what county you live in, or what is your nationality, since cultues vary alot as to what is allowed.

In the US, at 26 years old, if you want to go, you go, you don't need anyones permission.
like i said i live with her (still looking for a job to move out) so i kinda have to respect her wishes dont i???? i live in the us in the south my mama just is crazy and overprotective she got mad bc i wanted to stay at my friends house past 100 am (it was 10 min away from my home) shes nuts (look at knife wielding mama post) so im trying to be respectful until i can move out (i wish i could find a job no one seems to be hiring)
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Old Jun 15, 2008, 04:54 PM   #4  
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It's nice that you want to respect your mother and go about this in a way which won't make her feel uncomfortable. As an adult, you can go if you want, without her permission, but you know that already.

My suggestion is not to ask her, but tell her you are going. This can be done in a nice way; inform her of your plans for that weekend as if you were telling her about a book you just finished. Be firm, but respectful, and tell her all the details. Make sure you lay out who you are going with, when you are going, and when she can expect you home. This makes you appear much more as an adult; you aren't seeking her approval, you are being courtous of the person you share a home with.

When I still lived at home my mom had a rule that I could do whatever I wanted (once I was of legal age), but she still had to know where I was, who I was with, and when I'd be home. That way if I decided to stay the night at my boyfriend's, she wasn't up all night thinking I was dead in a ditch somewhere. It satisfied her need to make sure I was safe, but gave me the freedom I needed as an adult.

I haven't read your other post, but if your mom is really crazy, this still might not go over well. But it's still important that you establish yourself as a functioning adult. She might need extra reassurance that you'll be ok, but stick to your guns, you need to show her you can do these things on your own and nothing bad happens.

Good luck.
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Old Jun 15, 2008, 08:41 PM   #5  
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Good news guys she said "i was grown" and but she would be "praying that the lord shows me that concerts are ungodly and sinful"
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Old Jun 15, 2008, 09:14 PM   #6  
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(chuckle) As a parent myself, I can honestly admit...we are weird.
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Old Jun 15, 2008, 10:28 PM   #7  
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Go to the concert, enjoy yourself and find a way to get on your own!
Your mom is way too over protective and controlling.
You can't let her run your life.
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