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bonkers48 · Apr 11, 2013, 03:26 AM

My daughter is 21.She works as a carer, and has a boyfriend. I am a single parent. Recently, all my bills and rent have Increased, and so I have had to ask her, for the first time, to contribute a third to this. My other daughter is disabled, and she pays more than a third. I provided proof of the utility bills, and the rent and council tax.

When I asked if she would pay, I was met with a "whatever" she also insists on having her boyfriend to stay every weekend.

She knows I'm struggling to cope, that the rent is in arrears, and I can't go out to work myself because there is no-one to look after her sister.

What can I do?

tickle · Apr 11, 2013, 04:32 AM

This really isn't a legal issue, it is a family issue. Present her with a bill detailing her portion of household upkeep, if she doesn't pay, take her to small claims court. There is no sense in me suggesting you ask her to leave, that would not solve your problem.

JudyKayTee · Apr 11, 2013, 08:23 AM

Who is in charge? You or your daughter?

You're the mother - start acting like one. "These are the rules." If she can't comply, then she has to leave.

And as far as her boyfriend staying over and there's nothing you can do about it, yes, there is. She can live by your rules ("no overnights ..." or whatever else you want to say) or leave.

At some point being permissive and not taking a stand helps no one. Not her, not you, not your other daughter.

Take a deep breath and grow a spine!

ANGIE4124 · Apr 14, 2013, 05:19 PM

“Whatever” means you're taken for granted and or disrespected… At 21 your daughter obviously has no life skills and monetary responsibilities! Perhaps with a bit more assertiveness and explanation that these bills if not paid, especially where the rent is concerned her sweet bubble of ignorant bliss will burst also!

No contribution = No roof over your head
No roof = Boyfriend can't stay over
No Boyfriend = End of the world for a 21year old
OR
No roof = Move in with boyfriend and squabble with him about rent and utilities etc.

Other than waiting for this message to sink into her brain, do you have a system in your country where you can borrow funds against your social security benefits?

Take Care - Angie