I am 52 years old and still riding the guilt train with a mother who has always hated me. I grew up from a little girl hearing her say "I hate your father" and "you're just like your father." Growing up and being a grown up, I have had to live with my mother hating me. I'm an only child, and my mother lives with me and my husband and stepson. I want her to leave, she always threatens to, but she won't go......because she has no place to go. I'm on blood pressure meds now and I know having her with me is the reason. How do I get her to go besides throwing her out and looking bad with all of my cousins?

Emland

I'm guessing your mom is on social security by now. There are many apartment complexes that are dedicated to seniors and they base rent on income (that's how my mom's works). Check out the ones near you and find her a place. My mom lived with me for years and life is much better now that she is on her own. She will probably be nicer to you, too. Familiarity breeds contempt and I believe it is the worst between daughter and mother living in the same house.

Fr_Chuck

tell her you want her out, nothing is going to happen untill you are willing to stand up for yourself.

startover22

Like Emland said, if you give her other options (she isn't going to go look for them herself) it shows you care about her, but just can't do it anymore. I don't see a problem at all wiht that! Good luck!

JBeaucaire

It is SOOO hard to kick someone out. I feels heartless, doesn't it. But you really need to do it. Talk with your husband and FIRST get him to agree that you two need to be out from under her influence, that her presence is hurting your family.

Then get brutal and come up with a plan you can live with to implement it.

Move. Tell her you're moving on June 1 and you've decided now is the time to get her back on her own. Let her know you'll happily help her get packed and settled in wherever she chooses, but your new house won't have room for live in relatives.

Then move. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll move out, but if not, then you have to close the doors and move out. Move back later maybe if you must, not really sell your place, perhaps, but you get the idea.

You have to be grownups here. This is a sad song, but you have to face the music if you want your life back.

Oh, and she'll hate you all the more for this. Oh well.