I am very worried about my daughter [she is 12]. She is TOTALLY changed in almost every way. Her clothes [all black] if she has her way, her appearance...her activities..EVERYTHING!!! She has a cousin who is more like a friend than anything...always has been. He is 14..and also acting VERY different..or for a better understanding to all the readers, " EMO". Im not totally sure what all that means completely...but all I know is that it isnt a "phase" anymore and Im really to the point that im actually scared. I have tried to talk to the boys mother [who I am very close too]. She doesnt seem to either think it is a big deal..or she just isnt able to do anything about it herself. I love her son and her very much..but I dont want my daughter to hang out with him anymore..or even associate with him at this point. Im not trying to blame him for all of this..but he is a big influence on her as she is about the only "friend" that he has. He isnt popular at school..unless being the "weird kid" is what he's opting for..and Im positive that this all started because of his relationship/friendship with my daughter. I dont like the clothes..the hair in the eyes..the FILTHY bedroom...the laziness, grades slipping...OH!!! lol..and the OBSESSION with Anime...it is beyond just a "phase" now...and I feel as if she is or has changed into a totally different person. Before this..it was all "girly" things..pretty clothes...nice hair etc..now its all "goth"..or "emo"....PLEASE HELP...any and all advice would be so helpful. Thank you...I would also like to add that yes, I have talked to my child..of course...set rules, offered bribes..begged, screamed, yelled..Ive done it all..she is completely changed...and it is scaring me alot.

maliceluvsyou

Alright, this may or may not be a phase, I just think she is just discovering herself. Wearing all black and has her hair in her face is what she likes to do. You need to be more supportive of what she likes or wants to do as long as its reasonable. When I was younger my mom tried to make me what she wanted to be, wanted me to do things she wanted me to do and that does not work. It just makes the child angry becuz you dont understand them, or makes them feel you want to change them. That makes them rebel and will refuse to talk with you about anything. You dont want this, you want to be close and involved. Instead do things that she wants to do like if she like to read books go with her to buy books, or go with her to a movie that she has picked out, dont make her into what you want her to be. I know parents have a perfect vision of how they want to see their kids, but guess what thats not the case. She will be who she wants to be, and if you object to small things like talking to her cousin you will only upset her and she will close up and tell you nothing becuz she cant trust you to hear her and understand. My mom let me wear the band tees and jeans, and let me listen to heavy metal, ya she was controlling in other ways and by that I didnt trust her with anything. I often felt left out and my mom wouldnt even listen to what I had to say it was always NO, NO, NO! Trust me you dont want to push her away

emo_girl_meg

im emo too (and im also really young) you should just let her be if the boy isnt hurting her theres no harm in them hanging out.the more you tell her no the more shes going to want to do it. dont try to realate to her that will just make her mad (thats what my mom does to me)my mom gets pissed when i hang out with my emo boyfruend and it just makes me want to hang out with him more. i say buy her the cloths let her be who she is. dont try to change her. alot of emo kids are the way they are because they dont belong or to many things go wrong. dont try and buy them preppy cloths or try to make them listen to grily music let them be. they dont want you to understand they want their space dont try to talk to her she probaly dosent care.

haaleey

if i were you id let her be who she wants to be
there is nothing wrong with being emo

people these days are getting way to caught up in stereo types preps emos goths jocks
saying that its not normal

well who defined normal????????
people are diffrent
let her do what she wants to
she just might be trying to find her self


anyway did you ever think she just might be happy with who she is at the moment?

lyss988

ok emo teens is a hard subject. yelling and setting rules does not work, i am still a teen and i used to be emo. yea that boy is most likely infulincing her, but when someone goes emo its usally a family reason. like with me it started by my mom starting to date other guys. is there some family problem that might have been hard for her? if there is you should talk to her aboout it, but keep in mind you cant make your child be anything shes not. Dont make her be girly or wear girly things dont say she cant hang out with that boy any more dont yell at her. all those things just make the matter worse, talk to her, help her find god

Mrcuddlesworth

i am also a young "emo" im 13 and i know alot of more "emo's" who just do it because there parents like mine have no apparent sense in our lives.
For me i can't stand my parents usually they will sense something about me but lately its like im just a person that lives with them.
is there any apparent reason she might wanna become "emo" like for me the biggest point was when my older brother ( my hero the person i always looked up too) moved away and into a different province i was devestated becasue he hasnt talked to me for months and i found the only way to calm myself was cutting myself.(dont be worried, out of all my "emo" friends which is 30 none of them other then me cut ourself's.



i think you, ur daughter and her cousin should have a private talk about the reasons why
and dont try and change her its the most annoying thing a child can go with there parents


best of luck to you
Zach

hottJen

Don't label her like the other girl said. But black is a cute color and I see no problem if it's her fave. It's how she is, you shouldn't try to change that. And for the chores-give her an allowance. I'm sure that'll work. She's basically a teen so let her be herself, but still make sure she's like not always mad or something. Teach her to be social. And it her style, not yours.KIDS ARE WHO THEY ARE, NOT WHO THEIR PARENTS ARE. Just make sure she works on getting her grades and behavior better. Good Luck. Teach her to be HERSELF. Puh-lease rate my answer! I need some more rep!

tina637emo

Well what's wrong with being emo? I'm emo and I'm emu happy. Wait never mind, I'm miserable as hell. All I know is if my mother made me stop hanging out with any of my friends I'd hate her.

xxxlovebitesxxx

Ok, I'm going though what you said she is. If your sure its not a phase, i can help. See, you have to she if shes at all depressed, or seems to wallow alot. If she is, try to get to the bottom of her problems. When you figure them out, make sure you fix them. NEVER go up and confront her and say " I don't want you to" and all that. Im an 11 year old girl, and we hate that. If shes seems happy, and your sure she is, then its prob just a fashion statement. I like to do that kind of stuff to, and im not all " life sucks, i wish i would die" and that junk. I just think it looks cool. If it is just a fashion thing, then theres no reason to worry. But if she acts out more than often, or wallows, try to help. Hope I helped XD!
xxxlovebitesxxx



Chloe A. Cox