I am very worried about my daughter [she is 12]. She is TOTALLY changed in almost every way. Her clothes [all black] if she has her way, her appearance...her activities..EVERYTHING!!! She has a cousin who is more like a friend than anything...always has been. He is 14..and also acting VERY different..or for a better understanding to all the readers, " EMO". Im not totally sure what all that means completely...but all I know is that it isnt a "phase" anymore and Im really to the point that im actually scared. I have tried to talk to the boys mother [who I am very close too]. She doesnt seem to either think it is a big deal..or she just isnt able to do anything about it herself. I love her son and her very much..but I dont want my daughter to hang out with him anymore..or even associate with him at this point. Im not trying to blame him for all of this..but he is a big influence on her as she is about the only "friend" that he has. He isnt popular at school..unless being the "weird kid" is what he's opting for..and Im positive that this all started because of his relationship/friendship with my daughter. I dont like the clothes..the hair in the eyes..the FILTHY bedroom...the laziness, grades slipping...OH!!! lol..and the OBSESSION with Anime...it is beyond just a "phase" now...and I feel as if she is or has changed into a totally different person. Before this..it was all "girly" things..pretty clothes...nice hair etc..now its all "goth"..or "emo"....PLEASE HELP...any and all advice would be so helpful. Thank you...I would also like to add that yes, I have talked to my child..of course...set rules, offered bribes..begged, screamed, yelled..Ive done it all..she is completely changed...and it is scaring me alot.

EMO KID

[quote] Well, I Really Know What Im Saying Because Im Emo And Thats Exactly What Your Daughter Is. She Doesn't Really Want To Talk Becuase Really Nobody Understands Her. Im Going Through That Same Thing Because Im [13] And Thats Just How We Are. We Love Dark And Sinister Poetry, We Think Our Soul Is Black Or Some Dont Think They Have A Soul. We Are Always Deprssed And Cry A Lot. We Like To Write Poetry That Makes Us Cry. If You Would Like More Info. Google Search "emo Poeple" And There You Will See All Kinds Of Results. Click On The Ones You Thnk Are More Effective And Read What It Says. You Will Be Surprised Of What You Will Read!!

EMO KID

In Other Words, Ur Daughter Just Wants U 2 Stay Away!

lOsT_iNsIdE_eMo_GiRl

Alright, well first of all, I am almost 14 years old and I am going through pretty much the same thing. I've been emo since I was in 6th grade (now freshman). It kinda all started after my 18 year old cousin died in a car accident 6 days before my birthday. I got all depressed and cried myself to sleep every night. I still do to this day. I kinda keep my parents out of my personal life because i know that they won't understand how i feel and what i'm going through. For example, my favorite band is My Chemical Romance and I'm always playing their CD in the car and my dad starts screaming at me and calling me a Goth. (goth is different from emo) Having him reject me like that just makes me more depressed and it doesnt really do anything so all you need to do for your daughter is show her that you're always there for her and that you'll accept her no matter how she looks. I'm the type of persn who hides all my feelings behind a fake smile so maybe your daughter's that way too. Just approach her and tell her that it's okay to cry sometimes and that hiding your feelings isn't the bet way to go in life. And if she's cutting (and cutting deep) then you should probably get her a counsler to help her find the light. And if she refuses then try to help her the best you can yourself.

wonderwoman2007

your kid is going to turn into the kind of person she wants.

you trying to push her into something else will make her want to do it more.

it's not a big deal, so what she wears black? its not like she worships the bloody devil. and the grades slipping thing isnt because he's emo, maybe he's just dumb,

i hate people who believe in steriotypes ¬¬

just let her be what she feels comfortable with being.

Just a emo kidd

Okay, dressing like that isn't a big deal! Now, if you want her to hate you, go ahead and take her friend away, but if you dont, lether be who she wants. it is just a style. BUT if she starts cutting, stop it, without yelling. If you yell, it will make her cut more. Trust me.

-Used to be EmO

rockerchick_682

I'm 17 and during my freshman and sophmore year I went throught this little "goth" phase. Your daughter will grow out of it, everyone does eventually. The way I see it, she wasn't accepted into the jock group so she moved into the goth group to fit in more and get friends. When I was doing this I didn't really mean to. I thought it was cool and I didn't see a problem with it, I knew if I ever wanted a professional career I wouldn't dress this way, but it's highschool, who cares? Don't fight it too much. If you don't want her to wear those clothes then don't buy them for her. If she wants new clothes she'll have to get reasonable ones, or she won't get any at all. Just make sure she knows that you love her. I'm sure she knows but high school warps our minds and makes it seem like if you don't have this many friends, or you're not in this group, then you're not worth it. Make her realize what really matters in life, love from your family. I agree with you, she needs a new role model. Someone older and mature. The thing that helped me most was volunteering. The atmosphere changed my view of life. I grew up a lot. I just thought it would help if I gave you my point of view.

modular01

Kids go through phases. I know I did at that age. As long as it isn't extreme it's perfectly harmless. It's just her way of finding out what type of person she is for the very first time. I'm sure you went through it too. I know that I rebeled against my parents because they fought what I liked. If you just go with it, let her know that you still care, but don't judge her or put her down, everything will be fine.

To put it into perspective for you, I used to wear all black, have long hair, paint my nails black, and listen to heavy music. Now I'm just shy of 27, still listen to heavy music, but look like your average person, have a family and kids, and a house. She'll grow up just fine with the proper balance of love and caring, but also space for her to grow as a person.

intellectpursues

Most teens have no other way to distance themselves from their parents more than such a radical change. Usually its the most disgusting impractical look to entice anger from their parents. Its a rebellion thing of course, and more directly pointed at the parents and the community they are brought up in. Ok, beyond all the general BS, my advice as someone who once did the same thing your child is doing, is to even it out. What you should do is understand this is who your kid wants to be at the moment. It IS a phase believe me. But ok so your child can dress like this, but their needs to be ground rules. Room: They clean it, Grades: Good average/Effort or punishment. At this stage your teen is lost, and needs discipline to find their path. They will probably hate you for a bit, which is just mostly hormonal and they cant help it even how much they do love you. But look at the big picture my friend, their future, eventually they will feel stupid for looking like sad evil clowns but they will have an education and a chance because u knew they were worth your affection and time. Good luck.

confussed_lil_sofi

Be grateful! seriously! I went through a phase where i wore dark bggy clothes. lasted a few years. But then i decided it was time to change. and when i hit 14 i really did. No its the shortet possible skirts that might as well no even be there, and usually just a bkini top with it. its just what she likes and what she wants to wear. I'd be grateful that she is covering her self up and not dressing like a tart which is the fashion. seriously its scary there are 10 year olds that dress like prostitutes! Just let her have fun looking how she wants. Its what being youngs all about. I loved standing out and i luved how i look and thats probly how she feels!

Greg Quinn

Oh my god! Have you seen the movie Thirteen? If not rent or buy it now.