Hi,
My two years old son has become very stubborn and crancky these days. For every small thing he starts crying and becomes very aggresive,he hits us if we do not listen to him. I've tried to explain him,being strict too.......but doesn't work he keeps on crying for hours together if we hit him or do not do tings as per his wish..........also answers back in the same tone when we scold him.......could some one help what should i do??

progunr

Usually, the bad behavior is an attention getter.

Even though the attention he is getting is negative, it is still attention.

Try your best to just ignore him, completely, when he acts up in this way. It won't be easy, the crying, and yelling, and kicking can be very annoying, as well as the way it tugs on your heart to see him so "hurt" or "upset" but as long as this behavior gets him this attention, he will continue to use it in such a way. Once he becomes convinced that no matter how loud he cries or screams, nothing is gained from it, he will begin to change.

In addition, when he is behaving well, which are the times that no one has been noticing him, he needs to get tons of positive attention. The quieter he is, the better he behaves, the more good attention he gets.

While easier to tell, than to practice, I think this will help in the long run.

NowWhat

Welcome to the "terrible two's"! He is testing you. He is probably getting a little more independant - but doesn't want to be to far away either.

I agree with the above poster. If he gets more attention from you with negative behavior - than when he IS behaving - he is going to go with the negative.

When my daughter was in one of her many "testing" stages - we implamented a "crying corner". It is just a corner of room - centrally located in the house. When she would have a day where everything seemed to bother her and she wanted to cry - I would tell her to go to the crying corner. I told her it was fine if she needed to cry it out - but she would have to go to the corner. She would just sit there watching everything go by. The rule was - once she got the crying out of her system, she could rejoin activites. It really worked with her. She would normally only stay in a minute or two. It was her choice.
The only rule I had was she couldn't come out until she was done.

JBeaucaire

Babies are truly just very smart puppies at this age. The training is identical, too.

You reward the proper behavior, ignore completely the bad ones if you can. Occasionally a negative response can't be helped, but it must be rare, not the norm.

If the child always cries to get something, you and your husband partner up to teach the proper positive behavior.

-She's crying for a cookie aggressively.
-husband sit on the ground at her level and "cries" for a cookie
-wife tells husband to stop crying and use his words
-husband stops crying and calmly ASKS for a cookie, "please".
-husband gets a cookie and eats it
-repeat as needed

This stuff will be laboriously painful at first, but at some point, it will "click" in the child's head what is happening. At that moment, you will actually be able to use the same procedure on the child as the husband demonstrated..."use your words."

You will also need to teach him by demonstrating NOT to cry when she is told "no" to the cookie. Another different concept, but he will get it.

It is critical that you leave the room if you feel you're about to blow up in front of the child. Exploding at them is way more damaging than you can imagine.

Fr_Chuck

yep that is two years old, just don't let it phase you, I always beleive a swat to the rear ( nothing else) often helps if it is exteme. but just don't let him win and he will soon be over this.

But of course in a few years you will wish it was back to this after he gets alittle order. By the teen years you will be wishing for the two year old actions again.