An angel at home but a little devil at school- I'm so confused!

I will call our GP tomorrow and get a referal to a child pyschologist.

I really feel so sad. I feel like I raised her wrong or something.

I know. It's easy to feel that way when you see your child having problems. In this case, since she has always been well behaved, it makes you wonder where this "other child" is coming from.

When I taught Pre-K, we had one sweet little girl who wouldn't hush up at home, but in school never said a word the entire year, to anyone. Nowadays, that's called Selective Mutism. A little boy was wonderful at home, but at school during bathroom breaks would pee on the other boys "because I want to watch them scream." I'm not sure what they call that nowadays.

When a child suddenly is faced with a lot of peers to interact with, like in school, it's a bit overwhelming. That doesn't excuse bad behavior, which needs to be addressed as you are going to do with the chart system. And visiting a child psychologist is a good idea simply to head off further social problems.

Please keep us informed as to how things are going.

Thank-you so much for your help Wondergirl (and Tick) and, I really appreciate it.

I have the referral now I'm just waiting for an appointment now. I will keep you posted, any more feedback will be great.

Hi Mudweiser, (I love that name )

I too would be greatly interested in observing her while she is not aware you can see her.
Too often educators and such don't have the time or knowledge to deal with many problems in children , so boot ' em and feed 'em Ritalin is taking the place of childcare.

It is obvious enough how much you care and that alone is a major factor in working these things out. Caring enough to do something does not seem to be as popular as it used to be.

Kids will be kids and learning how to interact with others is part of it.
Some go about it in ways you never imagined .

They are individuals with their own ideas and may be testing the information given them to see if it works, or their own ideas work better.

How the other kids interact is going to give her examples of behavior she has not seen before and she may be trying out what she sees others do.

I'll bet a few beers she is very smart, and learned how to get her way at school which does not apply at home.
So she reacts in accordance to where she is and who is in charge .

They should be born with an instruction manual or at least FAQ sheet.

You are aware and concerned. Traits lacking in more parents than I care to think about.
You will be fine.

Hi I'm happy to report that she has had a pretty good day!

It is only day one of the new sticker system (I attached a photo of what it looks like).

She gets to pick her own sticker when she's being good :-)

Some things she needs to work on:
-not staying in the center at circle time
-fighting over books
-not playing nicely and cooperating

Other than that she had a pretty good day :-)

The teacher divided the day into smaller time periods so that she will experience success more often throughout the day and as she progresses she'll lengthen those periods of time :-)

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Muddy, that is good, and I hope a progressive day makes you feel better; it isnt your fault. There are glitches in all of our personalities, they just show up at different times and places. You are lucky that this is something that turned up early and you CAN work with. She is is a lovely little girl, and you have let us follow you and her for a couple of years, and you are a treassure, both of you.

tick

I've seen kids at three and four years old I would have considered placing in an electrified barbed wire enclosure because of their behavior at that age. Yet with some TLC and Attention it all went away in a matter of days or weeks .....sometimes months and ....seldom more. Polite PC behavior is taught, and is contrary to the survival instinct that is "hard wired" in. Manners do not occur.

It is where they are discovering themselves as independent beings and how they explore and express this can initiate behavior never thought possible from one so small and innocent.
They need structure and consistency at this point , just like you are doing.

Muddy , you may be worrying a bit too much. But it is a world better than not to be concerned and do nothing , or attribute it to something that relieves anyone of the effort parenting takes.

It's easier to blame ADD, get the Ritalin or Desoxin and drug them into submission. ........Just for the record: the generic name of Desoxin is methamphetmine and is a prescribed drug to "treat" ADD in children even younger than yours.

I don't want to get off on a rant here......so I'll shut up.

Muddy your biggest problem is you care , which you'll soon see is not a problem.
You too are young, and learning how to do the most important job you'll ever have and experience will be your teacher. Each child is different and others experiences can only be guidelines at best. Your dealing with a unique individual that will sometimes require unique methods .

Hello again friends.

I have come with some bad news :-(

So Rachel hasn't improved much all since Day 1 she's still pushing and spitting on other kids, as well as being defiant with the teacher :-(


I told her if that happened again I would take ALL her toys away-- so I did today.

All that is left in her room are her clothes, paper, books, and crayons.

Most kids would have cried, she didn't-- she even helped me put stuff away (what's up with that?).

I told her if she is bad again in school I would take off her posters she has on her walls.

I'm at my wits end guys.

What the heck do I do?

*bump*

Thanks for the bump. Trust me, I've been thinking a lot about your situation and have no clue what is going on in her head.

Did you ever connect with a child psychologist?