35 years ago I was a single mother with 3 kids. It was hard. Their father was an abusive drunk. I divorced the drunk and married a man who I thought would help me raise my kids. He did so financially, but was an overbearing and demanding stepfather. The kids rebelled and eventually left home as soon as they were able. I was always very close to my only son who was an artist (like me), very sensitive and valued relationships more than anything. Three years ago (he was 41) he stopped talking to me... he initially said it was because I voted for George Bush (I had a traditional belief that it was Not a good idea to change presidents in the middle of a war). But he also stopped speaking to everyone in my circle of family/friends - his sisters, uncles, friends, step-siblings - even if they were radical left wing democrats (much of my family and friends are!). He's a school teacher but always had a unique (artistic?) way of looking at the world. Here's the bazaar part... the only person he speaks to is his biological father who abandoned him as a youth and who he's been trying to connect with all his life (drunk or sober)... (father hunger?) But that doesn't explain why he won't speak to ME. I've called, emailed and even went to his workplace with one of my daughters. He was friendly enough, and sounded happy, successful (but distant) but I have no clue why he won't speak to me. I've pleaded with him to talk to me... tell me if I did something wrong... hurt him in some way?. and he just is clammed up. I'm afraid if I push too hard he'll change his email address. He never answers the phone when I call. Before all this happened he was a loving and attentive son. I always encouraged him to be honest with others as well as himself. Everyone adored him. He was the favorite son, the favorite uncle, the favorite everything. He's now broken about 20 hearts of those of us who were close to him and who loved him deeply. Was he brainwashed? Mid life crisis? Should I beat down his door? He won't give me any closure on this. He won't give me a reason. He just doesn't want a relationship with anyone who was in his life. He was great until he turned 41, 3 years ago. We're all heartbroken. Live and Let Live? If it were only me, I would try to understand what I did wrong... but it's EVERYBODY in my life. What should I do? It would be easier (not preferable) for me if he died... awful as it sounds... at least I would know why our relationship ended. His stepfather (who supported him for 25 years) now has altzeimer's disease. I emailed my son about it - thinking he'd want to break the ice and "come home." But he did nothing. I'm ashamed of my son... he's inhuman anymore. Please give me some suggestions... I'll try anything at this point. It's just not normal for someone to change their personality so drastically overnight. I'll never get over this. I'm shattered beyond belief.

I have several friends who have adult children who stopped talking to them for various reasons (and they were loving, conscientious parents)... what's going on?? What should I do? I miss my son.