My 7 yo daughter is also mean. And it is mean in a hard way to describe. She is mainly mean to her friends but only some of the time - not all of the time. She has the most difficulty when it is her and 2 other girls.

She doesn't call her friends names or anything, but she will say certain things. For example, if her and another friend are playing with something - then she may say something like "there isn't enough for you". Or "you can't use that color". She says these things not nicley but in a bossy, not nice voice.

If some girls askher to come over and play - and she doesn't want to - then she may say "no!" ( not no thank you - but a no in a snotty, almost teenager type attitude with the eyes rolling and everything)

If someone has something that she wants - then she may start to cry and pout until she gets it.

I also don't know what to do. I have talked with her and told her that no one will want to be her friend if she acts that way. If she says something really mean - I will take away dessert or playdates as punishment ( and I always follow through). Once she lost playdates for 3 weeks. Another time - dessert for 10 days.

I have talked with the school counsellors. They had enrolled her in a program to "build self esteem". At the end of the program - the instructors told me that they"loved " my daughter and it was a joy to her her in the class. The thing is - adults always - and I mean always - love my daughter. We have gone out to restatuarants and the mangers have given her toys. We have gone to 7-11 and the clerk gives her a lollipop. etc.

For her art projects that she doesn't want to share - I have told her that we can get more of the things that are :used up".

Help. It almost seems as this is just " the way she is". I am concerned that she will start losing her frineds. There is already one mom in our neighborhood that doens't want her daughter palying with my daughter.

I also roll play with her barbies to try to show her how other people feel when she acts the way she does. She alwyas says to me " your right mommy" and "I'm sorry" But the behavior still continues.


We have not tried counselling.

Does anyone have any other suggestions? I need help ( we have one older son as well about 18 months older than his sister)