| you put it best startover, first line- the father basically has the right to pay child support. what rights do fathers have really? Name a few?????
My friend, a business owner I know grew up in Korea. He moved here young and joined the Army. Later in life he met a woman and thought he had found his dream. They also had three kids. His ex-wife wanted to live the bachelorette lifestyle again and proceeded with a divorce notice. He was completely destroyed emotionally. He offered her every cent he owned to her which was one million dollars in exchange she would never see the kids again. The deal was gladly accepted.
In L.A. we know a lady that is "undocumented". Once past the border years ago, she had 7 kids here. For those 7 kids being born here, she receives welfare checks in the thousands because her ex was undocumented as well. Who is paying her welfare/child support?
In a surrounding city that I grew up in, there was a lady that was 30 when I was 18. She had four kids from four different guys all living most of the time with their dads. She was 6'0", 125 pounds and the biggest female meth dealer in 3 cities. She was also a major major addict. Almost toothless, she was given slightly less custody than the fathers but all the child support. (?!?!) So when payday rolled around she would go get the check at the PO BOX and cash in. This was the best day of her life every month because 100% of support went toward buying meth. I saw the kids around a few times because their school was around the corner. It was a despicable scene seeing their mom strung out walking odd, the kids clothes when moving from couch to couch/pad to pad were all in grocery bags and the mother's mother was also in on the deal. When money ran out the kids would have to be present at a deal to get the money for a motel the night. This is not a fiction novel this is real life!
What I have been through in my own experiences I know you would not like done to you male or female. When I was younger my father would beat my brother and I very bad and keep us in a room in our skivvies as to dominate and humiliate us as well. It was thought by many that he is a homosexual. When I was older, a woman I loved exposed the neon letters fool on my forehead. Real love is for life and beyond and that is why tear in my my heart grows longer without my daughter. Judge as you may since everyone is perfect here, but I have not seen my daughter in 9 years. Was this my choice? No. Did I try? More than you can comprehend. I got out of the military 5.5 years ago, six months later I was sleeping in a car. No family, no money, no skills, nothing. At the same time this happened, my kid's mother and the new guy made my daughter so embarrassed and ashamed of me and bum-rapped me to the point where my child's decision was based on their agenda which is the ex's agenda and re-fabrications which my daughter named a few.
With God's help, He showed me every step and how I could raise my life situation. I finished 3 years of engineering school in 1.5 because I had to. Sometimes on campus from 8am to 10pm. Because the hourglass on my life is running and the window of opportunity becomes opaque as to see my daughter the longer that I can't find a way to. I thought I was going insane. The entire time I existed in an altered state of suicidal thought because without my other I did not want to live. Hell and literally high water also fishing in Alaska on the Alaska Ranger which sunk 2 months ago. I make a six figure income now. Not to impress someone through text nor to raise my being above yours, I mention it because this is six times the most I ever made in a year. Because of this I may possibly get to see my daughter now that the back support has gone way down and that I can afford proper legal representation.
I wrote her a 3 page letter that took 12 hours to write and re-write and edit over and over until 5 in the morning. It had to because no words are good enough for her. I almost cried sending it because the game that was played on me may be over. The one thing I will tell her, -- whatever anyone has told you about me, don't tell me what was said you just see if it's true.--- If it is then I am to blame, if not true then what was said will be exposed for what they are. I will let her find out on her own, with no coaching, and no negativity.
It is plainly seen not just from these examples but from the widespread acceptance of men being reduced to powerless puddles in courts and startover's answer also. Startover's 3 sentences explain away at a doomed future for our children in a morally bankrupt society. To the few that have realized society is getting worse and worse, wonder why it is getting that way? Society is not an uncontrollable force, its own animal. It is you and I and your family however disfunctional pretending to be functional we are. Our children have become the wasted by-products of OUR society gone wrong? No. It is OUR lack of true intelligence and real love for them that has us in bondage to anger, entitlements and money$$$. They need both of the biological parents for emotional encouragement which will eventually become their self-esteem when they become adults.
1- "he has any rights which any normal father would have. He will need to pay child support and become a big part of the baby's life." That says it all and financially in huge ways for her. In virtually every situation that I've seen in my life the mother has custody. Both ex-special someones do not like each other and mostly will not agree with each other. Now resentful, angry and with custody, one person is given the maximum advantage to destroy the other's life and make them pay in every way possible. When the custodian is re-creating reality with the hope of not being challenged and expressing their biased opinions as historical life facts, the manipulated child has a shifted baseline for what is the truly truth. If a child then does not know the truth, does not know what real love is, and does no good in his/her life, it cannot be the fault of the parent wishing they were there. PEACE! | 
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