Hi,
I was wondering if any parents here have ever had to confront the issue of their young children masturbating. And if so, how did you handle it? Did you take steps to try to get them to masturbate less, or at least not in public and did it work? And are their things you can do to 'help' your child not discover masturbation. That's been on my mind lately. For the last few months, me and my wife have heard some strange noises coming from our son's bedroom at nighttime, it sounded like some rocking and stuff, but we ignored it. Last week, my wife walked into his room while that sound was being made, and she saw our son lying on top of a rubber ball and rocking his waste over it, and he was quite into it. So now we knew what that sound was. She didn't say anything to him about it, but in the morning when he wasn't looking we hid the ball from him and took it away. The next evening, he was looking for it and asked if we had seen it. But we ignored the question, and still have the ball. IT has been much more peaceful at night, no more rocking sound from his bed in his bedroom, but each night he has been crying a bit for his ball. Will he get over that soon, or should we place the ball back in his room where he will find it again? I don't know if this is something to be concerned about since he has never masturbated in public, basically we just are tired of having to hear that rocking around at night. But it got me wondering how he discovered to do this, and how he discovered that placing a ball right there would feel good, I mean who just goes ahead and lies down on top of an 8 inch rubber ball and places it under their stomach? It makes me very curious as to how he has discovered this, and how his activity may change as he gets older. And he's been doing this for a few months now each night, and he's only three years old? Do other children do the same kinds of things?

angelcakes22uk

Masturbation is deliberate self-stimulation that results in self-comfort or sexual arousal. Many parents are alarmed to find their young child engaged in such activities. Our Western society does not generally like to think of children as sexual beings, but sexual development is as much a part of their normal growth and development as is learning language, playing, and getting the proper nutrition in order to grow.
Some child psychologists think that boys who have seen a naked girl may be fearful that they could lose their penis and end up looking like the girl. However, no one can be sure of what these toddlers are thinking.
Genital play in both sexes can also take the form of rubbing with hands or rubbing against other objects such as a pillow, stuffed animal or the bed. Often the child will be found staring, flushed with an absent look on their faces, breathing fast or irregularly while masturbating. The behavior generally increases with boredom, sleepiness or stress in the child’s life. It is important to remember that children do not generally associate this activity with sexuality or adult relationships until much later in childhood, more toward puberty. This is reassuring to some parents who are alarmed by their child’s behavior. Genital play is often used simply as a form of self-comfort

billp

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a 3 year old masturbating. It is 100% normal development. Our doctor even told us this--it was a surprise to see it, but it should not bother or worry you--normal.

That being said, if you worry that the particular object he uses may cause him harm, I would mention it to the doctor and see if he thinks you should remove the particular object.

I would definitely avoid making him ashamed - and bringing it up, you may feel ashamed--and he will notice this, and so feel ashamed as well. That is a good question--is there even a reason to talk to a 3 to 8 year old about it?

mike145k

i disagree you need to discourage your son from masterbating,specialy using an object as a partner Its not a very healthy form of entertainment for a 3 year old it may lead to other forms of bad behavoir,get your son undercontrol introduce other activities,such as video games and yoyo's, coloring books,etc.you say he does it at night time keep your attention on him and make sure he doesnt start to masterbate with his hands that will be the next step,if he does, make him wear some sort of mittens or fingerless gloves that has helped,in some cases,but dont worry to much just show him the proper way to behave.

serialwife

From a child development standpoint it is as everyone else has said perfectly normal for a child to begin self exploration. It is however important to discuss with the child when and where this type of behavior is appropriate. As for how the child discovered that manipulating the ball as pleasurable, he could have stumbled up on it playing with the ball and discovered it felt good. Leave the ball out of the room for a while, reintroduce it in a few weeks and see what happens. He may even forget what he was doing with the ball, or he may pick another object. Make sure that you don't make a huge deal out of this.. sometimes children will repeat a behavior simply to get a reaction out of the parent.. don't chastise or make him feel like a freak.. set boundaries and stick to them... I have several books that may help let me know if you need the titles and authors, they have information starting with early childhood sexual development to into the teens.

iTz JuSt mE

Does he have a regular baby sitter? if so is it a guy or girl? if guy could your son have seen the baby sitter do the samee thing? or had your son do it with him?

letmeno

I am not really sure that it is self stimulation that he is seeking here as much as I am sure that it is more or less that he is going through the motions or maybe mimicking what he has seen before. I have a 2 year old and his penis is the focal point every time he uses the rest room.

BabyBruchie

if he really is masturbating, don't you think its too early for a 3 year old???

Irulan

At three years of age a child discovers that he/she has a body and part of the body is the genitalia. A child’s natural instinct is to touch and experiment with the sensation caused by touching, this is not masturbation but a natural instinctive action in a child while learning about the parts of the body.



“ Historically, masturbation — touching one’s own sex organs for pleasure — has been stigmatized as having pathological origins and negative physical and mental health consequences. Today, as masturbation is better understood and more widely accepted, we have learned that it can promote physical, mental, and sexual health. By destigmatizing masturbation, we are able to recognize it as healthful, helpful, and natural behavior. “

Source: http://www.ppatp.org/Masturbation%20-%20From%20Stigma%20to%20Sexual%20Health.htm

How to handle this situation depends on many things, above all your feelings of frustration since your appeal for help shows frustration on your part.

However you choose to handle the situation will affect your child's attitude toward sex in his future life, so before you act consult your pediatrician and see what is recommended.

ab-solute

I think it is normal, but using an object doesn't seem healthy.