I have a 6 yr. old. My husband and I are considering divorce. I have NO IDEA how to tell my child this. She loves her father so much and is sad even if he is late coming home from work at night. If we divorce, she and I will be moving over 700 miles away to start over.
We did agree that if this is the path we take, we want to tell her together.
I have been researching this subject and the most common thing I have found is never tell your child that Mom and Dad don't love each other anymore. I get that.
But, what do you say?

heather83

this is a really hard question to answer. i've been thinking about it, and can't come up with anything. all i can say it that it would depend on her age or maturity level. But you need to be honest with her about it. She doesn't need to know all the details, but just reassure her that you both love her very much and don't try to give her the inclination that you two do still love each other, because that will only create more confusion. my parents divorced when i was younger, but our situation was a lot different. my dad was abusive and i witnessed it. but it was hard on my sisters and little brother. She'll have questions, but just try to answer them as simply and as honestly as possible.
i hope that helps even just a little. Sorry i couldn't give you any really good advice.

Squiffy

700 miles away from her father, that is a very bad idea. Is there no way you could stay nearer together, at least for a few years? As for telling her, I think honesty is best. Tell her that mummy and daddy still like each other but dont want to live together anymore. You need to stress it is not her fault. My kids are four and five and me and their father are in the middle of divorce at the moment. It is a bit easier on them as we have been separated for 3 years. My daughter remembers us together, and remembers that daddy made mummy cry, but our son doesnt remember any of it. They know we are getting a divorce, and that means we wont be married anymore, any questions they ask I answer as truthfully as I know how. Its hard sometimes though.

NowWhat

We would have to move - my entire family is in another state. I have been a stay at home mom for over 6 years. I am going to have to move back in with my parents in order to provide for my daughter. So, there really is no way around moving.
My husband is going to try and move closer. We have our house on the market right now anyways. I know it is going to be hard on both of them. The out of state visitation is only one weekend a month. I feel like he should get to see her when ever he wants - that could only help her.
I just know that my child is not going to come out of this the same little girl that she is now and it kills me!

RubyPitbull

Nowwhat, what is sticking in my mind here is that you say that you both are "considering divorce". You also mention, "if we divorce". So, this tells me that you both are discussing it and it is not a done deal yet.

I don't want to assume anything but, are you both seeing a marriage counselor about this? If so, I would suggest speaking with your counselor. They advise people all the time as to how to go about explaining a split properly to your child. If you haven't been to one, I think it might benefit both you and your husband to find one in your area before you completely throw in the towel. If either of you has any desire to make a last ditched attempt to save your marriage, seeing one would allow you an objective perspective. If you past the point of saving the marriage, then again, an objective perspective will help you both work through this split in the fairest manner and to allow you to work together to help your daughter accept this as quickly and with as little pain as possible.

I hope this helps. Good Luck!

Lowtax4eva

just dont do what a friend did

"you like christmas right? Well how would you like 2 christmases..."

Bad idea.. actually, it might work!