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My daughter is 27 and is living at home. She has been with us for the last two years, but now is getting married and moving out. We have had problems together before, but it never has been so bad as it is now.
I became very depressed to the point that I am in bed for the last week unable to do anything.
When she sent out wedding invitations, she did not include our names on it and when I asked her why not, she said because we are not paying for the wedding. That's true we are pensioners on limited income, but she lived here for the last two years rent free I bought all the groceries for her and her boyfriend, it is not the money, it's the principle. She bought a condo, but until the wedding her boyfriend lives there. They sometimes now go there and cook, so today, she is going, and I asked her is she could bring me some leftovers and she started to have excuses that they might eat out, that she will be home late and so on. I said I didn't mind eating late, but she had some other excuse. So I said never mind and I hang up the phone and I will never ask her for anything again.
Every day, when she gets in the house, she says boo, yes boo and goes to her room and doesn't talk to either of us.
I just can't take it anymore!
She can surely leave your home at anytime prior to the wedding. The way she is treating her own parents is worse than atrocious. Tell her to leave as soon as possible as she is not welcome in your home any longer. With daughters like her who needs enemies? She sure takes the cake if you ask me. If I had a daughter who did this to me and my husband I would ask her to leave. She is highly inconsiderate and extremely selfish if you ask me. Too bad you have to go to the wedding..... if it was me I'd go to the movies instead in a town about two towns over.
At the end of this month is your Independence Day! Get her off on the right foot cause you will not be sorry. Hopefully, there will be an abundance of blessings for you ahead.
The parents of the bride paying for the wedding is an old tradition, it is not expected anymore. With children getting married later in life there is no reason why they can't pay for their wedding themselves, that doesn't give them the right ti disclude you from the invites. This is very rude behavior, especially after living with you for 2 years rent free. She a spoiled little brat.
I really hope you can put on a fake "happy face" for the next month and just accept all the crap that is your adult daughter with a grain of salt. Just do it.
Don't make waves. Don't complain, don't bother trying to parent her any longer. You can't win against her immaturity. At her age, she either gets it or she doesn't. Don't waste time giving speeches to her on any topic she doesn't specifically ask for advice.
Wish her the best. At the wedding, give her away, and change the locks. The let the partying begin. Count your blessings on THAT day.
Honestly, She is not obligated to do anything. She is your daughter yes, but she is a grown women. With her own life. In this situation, in my own personal opinion it sounds like a parent that is having a hard time letting go. As the above poster mentioned, DONT MAKE WAVES. It is up to her who she includes and who she does not. Just be supportive of her, and except that she is moving on.
Give her a bill for the last two years including meal and laundry services.
And give her a seperate bill for the rest of the time till the wedding.
And tell her what you are saying here, that you were giving her help and money for years and that a "big" wedding is her responsiblity not yours.
First that’s very rude of your daughter to not invite you, you are her mother and if it wasn’t for you and her father she wouldn’t even be here in this world. And so what if you’re not paying for the wedding you’ve taken care of her all this time, she’s old enough to take care of her self and pay for it on her own. If that man wants to marry her so bad then he should pay for it. Don’t worry she’ll regret not inviting you, just pray to God that when she has kids of her own, they won’t treat her the same way she treat it you. Believe me it all come’s back. Distract your self do things around the house, move your furniture around keep your self busy and maybe that will help you stay away from all that stress.
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