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    Alienware's Avatar
    Alienware Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #21

    Jan 21, 2009, 01:57 AM
    Bottom line, he has to start being responsible or he's going to end up working at Mcdonalds.

    Im 16 right now, and I used to be like your son, I skipped classes, sometimes not going to classes for weeks at a time, then last semester I got my interim report.

    Fails in all my classes, it crushed me, suddenly I realized that at this rate, I was going to have no future and live unhappily. Now I never miss a single class, I even come to school sick sometimes, just so I don't miss school.

    If he won't answer his phone, take his phone away, quit giving him money, especially if he's spending it on weed. I'm VERY pro-weed, I smoke it quite regularly, but your son doesn't need it in his life right now.

    If he won't come to school and attend classes, put him in a boarding/military school that forces him to come to class.


    This is the hardass route, to take if your son won't smarten up. Try opening up to him, talk to him in a non accusatory, non judgmental way, give him no reason to get defensive. If he still gets mad, then tough beans, he needs to hear that he's messing his life up.

    I also think getting him to spend time with his dad is a good idea. Father's are a very good influence on teen boys, I know my dad has been a very positive influence on me.


    I hope your son works his life out, I hate to hear about people messing up their lives when its totally preventable.
    cbell0313's Avatar
    cbell0313 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #22

    Nov 19, 2011, 10:33 AM
    I am in the same boat as you. My son is 16 and stayed out past curfew last night. I even went to where him and his friends were and tried to get him in the car. He does not even care that if he gets cought past midnight, I will be fined $500. As for me, even after all the counceling, etc. I am learning that of what my mother used to tell me all the time, "You can take a horse to water, but you can not make him drink it." I see more and more children today besides our two that are going against their parents and rebelling. Tough love is going to have to be put in place for both of us. As for me, I know that my relationship with my son will change and I will no longer be the person that he can come to for answer for anything he may have. After a long night of sleeplessness and him deciding to not come home and stay at a girls house, I have decided to cut off his financial money tree. Our jobs, as parents, are to make sure our children have a safe, environment in which they can lay their heads down at night, food in the tummies, and a roof over their head with cloths on their back. That is it and that is all he will receive from this day forward from me and I would advise to you that you do the same before it is too late. I am going to tell my son that if he wants to behave like this and act like an adult, then I am going to treat him like one only to give rewards when deserved. If he wants money for things he does not have to have, he will have to go out and get a job and earn it. If he wants to stay out late at night, I have already told him that the door will be locked and he will not be allowed into the house past midnight because my decurity and the security of my daughter that I am still trying to raise comes first before his desires to "hang" with friends. If he is not going to answer his phone when I call or txt him, then I can just as easially turn the phone off. The main reason for the phone to begin with was contact him in case of an emergency which is not what it is being used for. Previouslly, I told him that if he did good in school, I would reward him with a car. He still continues to do poorly in school and is not getting his credits, therefore, car is not going to be rewarded. If he wants a car, he will have to get a job and pay for it himself. When he reaches the age of 18 and is not still in school trying to get a degree or deploma, he will have to pay me rent just like he would anywhere else. I don't know why I have not used the same principles that my mother used on me but it is time. I hope this information lets you know, first, that you are not alone and there are other (a lot of us) out there that are going through the same thing(s) you are when it comes to children not listening to their parents. Second, after all the money I have spent previously on doctors, it did not work and gave my child more verbal weapons to use against me. I have even considered moving from my neighborhood but have come to realize that this situation is going on in every neighborhood around the globe. I, personally, believe that I have given my child too much freedom at a younger age because of my downfall with my marriage and the guilt behind it of not raising my children up in a two parent family atmosphere. I have blamed myself long enough, it is time for me to grow up as well and get off myself pitty box and stund up for what is right and that is that I am no longer going to allow my son to enflict his choice in life on me. I will focus my attention on things that I can change and make sure I do not make the same mistakes twice with my other child. Sometimes you have to set the rules down, stick to them and never let them see it is effecting you and to never give in... that is tough love. I hope and pray that this message give you some sort of peace to know that it is not your fault and that children of today are rebeling more and more and because of the laws of the land, there is not a thing we can do about it. Never give up; never surrender.
    KATE1221's Avatar
    KATE1221 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #23

    Jun 13, 2012, 09:00 PM
    My situation is worth ,my son is `17 years old, on drugs (psp) started with weed, disrespectful, calls me names, tells me when I die he will come and spit to my face and all of this going on and on everyday, doesn't do anything in the house! Demands on meal , wouldn't eat one meal twice ,for example tonight he called to cops on me for not feeding him, that was not true , he eat a plate with lamb with potato , when he went for more I said that was enough because I tried to punish him that way for coming home at 10:00 pm ,he was gone since morning,he wouldn't go to look for a job either, < while I'm not 18 its your responsibility to take care of me other wise your going to jail>>.. this is what he tells me.. My husband decided to leave me so our 7 years old baby girl wouldn't see all this madness in our house ,he took her to IL we live in FL... it hurts me a lot My son has been in two different private schools which he got kicked out from both ,the last school was very tough with strong discipline even there, stuff members couldn't handle him , I'm so over of living like this ,everyday is screaming arguing, crying headaches ,I lost interest in life.. there are a lot to write and describe our relationship with my son.. but its horrible.. I would never imagine that I will be living life like this with my son
    KATE1221's Avatar
    KATE1221 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #24

    Jun 13, 2012, 09:01 PM
    I apologize for my poor basic English
    worried1951's Avatar
    worried1951 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #25

    Oct 17, 2013, 12:59 AM
    My girlfriends son is the same
    And now we have found him dealing drugs (Idiot)
    His mother got the police in
    Now he says the big boys are after him because he has lost there money
    So he is trying to blame her and get her to pay
    if I get my way the dealer will beat him the cops will get the dealers and
    The son will go
    The poor mother has had one breakdown all ready and fast approaching another
    One
    He spends all day in bed and all night in and out of the house people calling
    Day and night
    His mother works 15 hr days and this lazy little does sod all
    if the dealers don't beat him I am going to
    But I know deep down she would not be happy
    She seems to be in fear of him he knows Im not and wants me gone
    Help

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