My 17 y.o. son has decided not to come home again

imthemom · #1 Sep 10, 2007, 11:37 AM

This is the 3rd time that he has not come home. 1st time it was for a week. I called and reported him as a runaway, he claimed that I kicked him out, which was NOT the case. He came home, and things seem to be better. The 2nd time was about a month later and was for 4 days. Again he came home and we talked and determined the things that he didn't like, the things I didn't like and we established, what we agreed to, the rules. He followed those for a few weeks. Then he got his car. He has had it for a month now and has continously been late, doesn't do the chores he is to do and just really hasn't followed anything he is supposed to (which really isn't too much - take out the trash, feed and water the dogs and keep up his room) I have taken his keys from him twice and kept him from it for 3 days.
Last week, I had to go to the school because he came back from lunch stoned. He is supended from school for a week. I told him his driving priveleges were going to be the same. He said no, wouldn't give me his keys.That was Thursday. He was home that night. I said goodbye to him Friday morning and I haven't seen or heard from him since.

What do I do?

LearningAsIGo · Sep 10, 2007, 01:23 PM

Call the police and file a Missing Persons report. He is 17 and could be in danger.

I hope you don't take this as an attack, but it sounds like you're not following thru with your punishments. You took his keys away for 3 days? Not long enough. You'll have to be VERY firm with him and TAKE THAT CAR AWAY not for a few days or a week... even a month... but until he can prove to you that this behavior will not continue. If you have to, don't let him have that car until he can get a job and buy one of his own. Ever hear the phrase "tough love"? You may have to do somethings he doesn't like to protect his well being because you love him. He can't "run away" to punish you with guilt and think its okay. EVERY TIME he runs, call the police and report it. You must show him that you take this very seriously and it isn't okay to run from his problems like that. He's a minor and goodness knows what he's doing when he's away!

You would recommend family counseling. He has to learn to show more respect for you and for himself.

Good luck, I hope you find him.



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