My 14 year old son (which is a twin) wants to live with his father. A little history... I have 3 boys. (17, 14, 14) Have been divorced from their father for about 12 years. I remarried (now 7 years) and moved from our home town 1 1/2 hours away when I got married again when the boys were 10, 7 and 7. We don't have any family in our new hometown, but feel very comfortable here and visit our family ever chance we get. We attend church 1 or 2 times a week. About 5 years ago, my oldest son (then 12) wanted to go back and live with his dad. He wasn't adjusting very well - so I let him. His father had remarried also. He lived with a stepmom and two step siblings close to his age. The stepmom was a recovering drug user. My son (a first grandson) had a very close bond with his grandfather. I hated to let him go, but thought it would be a temporary thing. We didn't legalize anything until recently. But, that is another story. I am a stay at home, my husband (step father) works and I just this year started homeschooling the twins. It was a good family decision. My exhusband got a divorce, and started dating. He met someone and got her pregnant on the first date. Almost 9 months later, they had a baby. He moved her in with him and my oldest son and soon after decided he had made a huge mistake. It is a very off and on again relationship. He still is in love with his 2nd exwife. Which he still visits and stays with from time to time. Finally, he married his new baby's mother (the live in girlfriend) the day before he took me back to court over my 17 year old. Now, a little more history... when the twins were born, they were a handfull. I took care of twin A and my husband then took care of twin B for the most part, when he was home. Not by choice it just worked out that way. Because of this gap in male bonding with twin A, twin A has always been partial to girls and women. Finally, after counseling and many years gone by... his father wants him to come live with him. A seed that was planted by the young girlfriend (now wife) last summer. The step mom has tried to come between me and my children on more than one occasion. Twin A, the one that hates my husband and doesn't bond well with men, wants to take this chance to get to build that relationship. Twin B, who has bonded well with his father and step father, doesn't want to leave me. I really want what is best for my children, all of them. But, letting my oldest son live with his dad had been a big mistake. He has lived in an unstable environment for 5 years now. He has become a very disrespectful teen and doesn't like me very much. I stand for principle and truth. His father gives them lots of freedom and very little supervision. He recently let the new stepmom take my oldest son out for his birthday and bought him and 2 friends beer. They got drunk. His excuse was, "I wanted him to do it and get sick, so he won't ever do it again." We both have 2 drastic ways of parenting. Please help. My kids mean the world to me.