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my 12 year old step-daughter won't sleep in her own room. I don't sleep in the same room as my husband due to his snoring. She's 5'8, a B cup bra, wears tight boy shorts and a v neck tight string tank to bed spraying body spray all over before going to sleep. My four year old son sleeps in the room sometimes as well however not every time. I've asked my husband to please have a talk with her as this is not normal and is actually unhealthy. He tells me I'm over reacting that she's still a little girl and I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is. She wraps her arms around him and lays her head on his chest, she spoons him when laying down with her leg over him, she sits next to him with a skirt on and her legs draped over his and recently began calling him "daddy" instead of dad ...now the latest, she gives him for fathers day a 9x12 framed photo of her in a string bikini on the beach wearing a padded bikini top, people say it's because he has one of me on his desk in a bikini, uh where's the school or sport pictures?
...I'm just sick at the whole thing and my husbands lackadaisical approach. I am near divorce with all this, since it's just so creepy. He tells me not to blame her for what her mother has taught her to be (I don't, but he's not helping) her mom is the town tramp and dresses very [trashy] too, but c'mon this is his daughter already. He tells her to go in her room, but when she doesn't, he doesn't pursue it. People have made comments as to her behavior and more so this is why I've brought it to his attention since he is in the public eye often, somebody is going to say the wrong thing one day and he's not going to like it. Am I being ridiculous? Please help.
Hello? Get real! The problem here is not an overly or inappropriate sexual relationship between daughter and father! It is JEALOUSY! Jealousy on the OP's part (who I may remind you all is the ADULT) and a teen girl who desperately craves her dad's attention. Goofy, you gave yourself that name for good reason.... you are acting on the impulses of a child...just like the ones you claim are so wrong. She is a KID. she will vie for dad's attention, and if you don't find a way to help her through this phase and build a relationship with her outside of dad, you will lose him, because his daughter is going nowhere. You sound insecure and unable to understand the view of a young girl who feels her dad is turning his attention away from her for you. My advice is GROW UP. After all, you pride yourself on being the adult, so act like it. Learn some compassion and try to look at this crappy life a 12 year old has been dealt from her point of view befoer you go labeling things sick, wrong, or inappropriate.
Who the hell said she was sexually abused bushg??? Are you psychic? Because the OP's description is in no way definitive of sexual abuse!!! It only indicates a young girl being angry that her dad is giving time and attention to some one else. and she is trying to gain it back the same way she SEES it being taken! You are ASSUMING something that is not true or proven! THESE ARE NOT THE SIGNS OF A SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILD, no matter how many times you throw a red dot out!!! You clearly have no education in areas of abuse, so please don't lecture me!
Vlee ... FYI... I haven't a jealous bone in my body and those who know me are fully aware of this. I have friends that are beautiful models and I have no problem with them around my husband ... the mere fact that this 12 year old is being taught to act inappropriately is the problem. The mother has the head of a 60 year old on a 38 year old body, (I knew her previously ...everyone does) she doesn't bother me one bit and for the record ... I am very comfortable with who I am... it is what the daughter is doing with and around the father ... hopefully you can read what was posted and understand this a little more before jumping to conclusions. Bottom line is, my husband craves the approval of his children since he doesn't like the adults telling him it's wrong; this is at 50 years old, i find this rather odd and that Vlee is why I came on board to ask others opinions.
[quote=bushg]You need to sit down and be honest with yourself, Sit back and think about how he makes you feel, how does he treat the 4 year old and your 16 year old...I am assuming from a previous relationship. He has a pic of u in a bikni on his desk at work? I'm sorry but I find that kinda of teenagerish.
the pic of me is on his desk in our home ...it's in his home office... I think the daughter has seen (or heard) her mother with other men and maybe wants to explore, however I don't think it should be with her father for crying out loud. And we have heard she chases the boys at her school too ... boy this is so messed up. I've threatened to leave several times and he'll buy me flowers, make me dinner, run my bath, have his friends talk me out of it ... so he isn't trying to get me to leave. My boys are what matters most and from what a counselor said on another site, help is needed fast with this situation just being so unhealthy. Thanks for your time on all this Bushg.
going... you are a grown woman, You need to stand up for those kids. If you choose to take him screaming at you well so be it, but those kids deserve better, I am not saying that he is abusing his daughter but It sure looks like someone is . I have known many victims of abuse and she has some of the classic signs. call a hotline and talk to sexual abuse counselors and see what they think about her behavior. But do something to help out the children in your family.
going... you are a grown woman, You need to stand up for those kids. If you choose to take him screaming at you well so be it, but those kids deserve better, I am not saying that he is abusing his daughter but It sure looks like someone is . I have known many victims of abuse and she has some of the classic signs. call a hotline and talk to sexual abuse counselors and see what they think about her behavior. But do something to help out the children in your family.
you are a dear ... no, i do not care to be screamed at, this is one of the issues I hate most. I honestly don't believe anything is going on with he and the daughter, it's just her behavior around him that's so creepy. It's when I said something about the pic he received that this whole thing finally blew up. He and I have different backgrounds and he thinks i'm being overly cautious and need to just calm down. from the looks of this site and others I don't think I'm too far off the beaten path here in thinking this just isn't healthy. Thanks Bushg
First you might remind him that CHIld Protective services could become involved if this info gets out.
Can this really get a parent in trouble? My parents divorced when I was 11 and from then to about the time I was 13, I slept with both my parents, depending on who's house I was at. There divorce completely shattered everything I had known, and I needed comfort. I understand this girl seems more extreme than my situation though. I personally think she is just jealous of the step mom. She doesn't want another woman stealing her daddy's attention. I would definitely try to get her some help though.
Can this really get a parent in trouble? My parents divorced when I was 11 and from then to about the time I was 13, I slept with both my parents, depending on who's house I was at. There divorce completely shattered everything I had known, and I needed comfort. I understand this girl seems more extreme than my situation though. I personally think she is just jealous of the step mom. She doesn't want another woman stealing her daddy's attention. I would definitely try to get her some help though.
oddly enough, the mother has sent her to seek counseling for what she stated, "she's having difficulty with the divorce" fact is, they divorced when she was only 13 months old, so obviously she has issues with other things, but the father does not believe in therapist, he thinks if you can't work them out at home then you have real problems.... and yes we have a problem here. hopefully I can convince him to at least sit down with someone to discuss the real issues here. Thanks again guys.
Can this really get a parent in trouble? My parents divorced when I was 11 and from then to about the time I was 13, I slept with both my parents, depending on who's house I was at. There divorce completely shattered everything I had known, and I needed comfort. I understand this girl seems more extreme than my situation though. I personally think she is just jealous of the step mom. She doesn't want another woman stealing her daddy's attention. I would definitely try to get her some help though.
I see nothing wrong with parents sleeping in the same bed with their children. But is does tend to make them insecure if it happens to often. This little girl is exhibiting inappropriate behavior, and her father does not seem to be concerned. I truly believe if the authorties were told this exact story and came into the house while father and daughter were in bed as step mom describes, they would remove the child from the home.
I truly believe if the authorties were told this exact story and came into the house while father and daughter were in bed as step mom describes, they would remove the child from the home.
Bushg ...those exact words came from a friend of mine too ... i was told to take a picture of them sleeping and show it to dad as to how it looks but thought that was being a little out of line.
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