12 year old daughter sleeps with Dad

heartofgold21 · Jun 21, 2007, 11:44 AM

Ireally think you should sit down with your husband AND his daughter and talk about the situation, if both agree its just a father to daughter bond or get defensive than all you can do as a step mom is keep an eye on it. I think the situation though is very discusting and you are making your own life a hell whole with your husband, I think he and his daughter need therapy if they think that behavior is okay. I once had a friend who's daughter was taking showers with her dad and she was 10 going on 11, these whole daughter father things are quite creepy and this behavior is more than love, its sensuality. I say sit them down...

goingoofy2 · Jun 21, 2007, 12:16 PM

Do you think I would be hammered if I tried to sit down with the two of them ...they are both very defensive people. She'll say, "OMG, whatever" when a subject comes up that she doesn't agree with ...as when she was approached with bragging who her father was and how it wasn't a very good way to conduct herself ...she denied it and said she'd NEVER say that ... Several people came into my business stating they always know who she is since she's always saying her dad**** this and her dad*** that (saying his name). I would love to sit down with [the normal] family and talk about the situation ...

One other thing ...I think the mother and grandmother may in fact be involved in this ...she's just been overly affectionate these past several months with no regard to my comments. The mother and grandmother helped create the bikini photo for father's day ...it's sick!

talaniman · Jun 21, 2007, 12:17 PM

You, and your husband, should be a united front to guide all the children in knowing what roles they play in the household, and what is the correct way to act. The biggest problem I see, is the adults are at odds, and cannot lead the children to adulthood, as a unit. Counseling is so needed to put you, and your husband, on the same page.

Lacey5765 · Jun 21, 2007, 02:43 PM

I think you may be right goofy. Trying to talk with them together will make them defensive and unite against you. You somehow need to make your husband see how unhealthy the daughter is. Would he be willing to read some literature on teens? How does he feel about the strong possibilty of her being sexually active and early pregnancies? Most dads don't want to think of their girls with boys. Maybe if he can see that her behaviors with him are not going to be limited to him. She most likely will be (if not already) a very promiscues young woman. If he could see that her behavior is not that of a normal 12 yo then maybe you can get united. He will have to be the one to stop the behavior. ANything you say will only likely push her towards more undesirable behaviors. It does sound like she is jealous of your relationship and he will have to make things clear with her that he values her relationship as a daughter but will set limits. If she sees that you are united I think it will go a long way to help her.

goingoofy2 · Jun 21, 2007, 03:19 PM

If my husband was a mature individual this would all be great, however he has stated to her how much he loves her, my 4-year old and me just the same and she has to deal with that ...however if he and I are on the outs, he'll go along with anything she says just to have a "companion" on his side. He hates, hates to be wrong so even if a 12 year old humors him, he's happy ... I've told him how wrong and confusing he is but he denies being this way; so many of us see what he does so obviously it's not something made up.

UsBlkgal · Jun 21, 2007, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goingoofy2

my 12 year old step-daughter won't sleep in her own room. I don't sleep in the same room as my husband due to his snoring. She's 5'8, a B cup bra, wears tight boy shorts and a v neck tight string tank to bed spraying body spray all over before going to sleep. My four year old son sleeps in the room sometimes as well however not every time. I've asked my husband to please have a talk with her as this is not normal and is actually unhealthy. He tells me I'm over reacting that she's still a little girl and I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is. She wraps her arms around him and lays her head on his chest, she spoons him when laying down with her leg over him, she sits next to him with a skirt on and her legs draped over his and recently began calling him "daddy" instead of dad ...now the latest, she gives him for fathers day a 9x12 framed photo of her in a string bikini on the beach wearing a padded bikini top, people say it's because he has one of me on his desk in a bikini, uh where's the school or sport pictures?

...I'm just sick at the whole thing and my husbands lackadaisical approach. I am near divorce with all this, since it's just so creepy. He tells me not to blame her for what her mother has taught her to be (I don't, but he's not helping) her mom is the town tramp and dresses very [trashy] too, but c'mon this is his daughter already. He tells her to go in her room, but when she doesn't, he doesn't pursue it. People have made comments as to her behavior and more so this is why I've brought it to his attention since he is in the public eye often, somebody is going to say the wrong thing one day and he's not going to like it. Am I being ridiculous? Please help.

I'm not a liberal or anything but there are those who would consider a man sleeping with "nubile, leggy" thing as a form of childmolestation whether they aren't or are doing anything but sleeping.......God bless you!

atlallstar · Jun 21, 2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goingoofy2

my 12 year old step-daughter won't sleep in her own room. I don't sleep in the same room as my husband due to his snoring. She's 5'8, a B cup bra, wears tight boy shorts and a v neck tight string tank to bed spraying body spray all over before going to sleep. My four year old son sleeps in the room sometimes as well however not every time. I've asked my husband to please have a talk with her as this is not normal and is actually unhealthy. He tells me I'm over reacting that she's still a little girl and I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it is. She wraps her arms around him and lays her head on his chest, she spoons him when laying down with her leg over him, she sits next to him with a skirt on and her legs draped over his and recently began calling him "daddy" instead of dad ...now the latest, she gives him for fathers day a 9x12 framed photo of her in a string bikini on the beach wearing a padded bikini top, people say it's because he has one of me on his desk in a bikini, uh where's the school or sport pictures?

...I'm just sick at the whole thing and my husbands lackadaisical approach. I am near divorce with all this, since it's just so creepy. He tells me not to blame her for what her mother has taught her to be (I don't, but he's not helping) her mom is the town tramp and dresses very [trashy] too, but c'mon this is his daughter already. He tells her to go in her room, but when she doesn't, he doesn't pursue it. People have made comments as to her behavior and more so this is why I've brought it to his attention since he is in the public eye often, somebody is going to say the wrong thing one day and he's not going to like it. Am I being ridiculous? Please help.

NO when I waz 12 I wanted to have my own room I never slept with my parents and I never wanted to...because they were my parents and I wanted to give them there time alone...mostly at night..lol

The point is if you think it is wrong that that is your thing
I love my dad and I sat on his lap...but I never did what this little girl does

Why don't you talk to her or something and no way you aren't wrong do what you feel is right

goingoofy2 · Jun 21, 2007, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slurpiness

If her mother is aware of this she would have filed legal actions for both of you and your husband already. But I don't really see concrete proof that he abused her nor she does which would be unrealistic. Well I don't know. I think the answers lies on your head no offense.

Wellllll, truth be known, the mother made an accusation several years back about the daughter and father... We all laughed it off knowing she would say things just to say them, she brought it up in court but never pursued it ... In any event, I don't think this is a molestation thing ...it's just a creepy situation that is very unnatural.

Lacey5765 · Jun 21, 2007, 05:35 PM

Well, if you are not able to help him see how wrong this is then I would say protect your children. You may need proof of what is going on later. I am thinking of the future if things are not able to work out with you two. You may need pictures to have in a case of a custody battle with your own children. It doesn't sound as if he will be reasonable and not make good judgements for your 4 yo when he is a teen. Is there a way to take a picture or record a conversation without him being aware? I wouldn't want you to be put in a dangerous position with him. I am sorry that things are so wrong for you. He should have never put the 12 yo on the same level as you. We should always show our children that our first alliance is to our spouse and together we parent.

goingoofy2 · Jun 21, 2007, 05:42 PM

I would really like to know how to go about proving more of this ...he's on guard now so nothing will transpire anytime soon ...nonetheless, my biggest concern is with my 4 year old and he having to deal with those two if [when] I leave him. He's more than likely going to tell her something so how do I go about it from this point on. If it stops great, but who knows when I'm not home.

12 year old daughter sleeps with Dad

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