I have been living with my new husband for about 6 weeks now. He's really good with my daughter, who is a year old, but she just doesn't seem to really like him. She cries everytime he picks her up. We thought that maybe she just needs to get used to him, so he has been bathing her and rocking her to sleep every night for a month now, but things aren't getting any better. She just screams the whole time. What should I do? I'm open to any suggestions.

I just feel terrible because he is trying so hard to be a father to her and I know that it hurts his feelings.

belovedgift

Does your husband have a beard? if so have him shave it off. sometimes a big ol' wooly buger scares a baby plumb silly. I know this because I wear a beard and some babys don't like the look of me either.

dontknownuthin

I'd say that you should continue to do the things for her that you used to do. She may just feel competition for your attention, and him taking over bathing and rocking may be making things worse.

Keep your routines with your daughter, particularly these intimate mother/child bonding moments like bathing and rocking. Your husband can connect with her in a different way with some new things. Perhaps he can plan some Sunday outings and take her to do fun things, or can make some crazy chalk drawings with her, or just take out some finger paints at the kitchen table.

I really think though she just feels like she has to share Mommy, and 1 year olds do not like to share yet!

The beard advise is good, too. Does your husband look scary in any way? Tattoos or things? Those things can scare adults, much less babies!

And she might just need to come to him on her own time. When I adopted my son, I had to let him come to me on his own time. When we were first getting to know each other at his foster home, each visit he'd run around really crazy for a while laughing - which I think had to do with the stress of getting a new Mom and Dad. Eventually he'd come near us but just out of reach and we'd play, "I'm gonna kiss you!!!" and we'd chase him and finally catch him and swing him up in the air and give him a noisy kiss on the cheek. He'd laugh and then eventually he'd calm down into the situation. By the time we left, he'd be asleep on one of our laps. Next visit, same routine but it would not go on as long. He was almost two.

So, let her come to him on her own terms, make sure she feels safe, make sure she knows she's not losing her time with you.

DoulaLC

Might help if you both do these things together with her then gradually he takes on more alone as her comfort level increases.

Have his one-on one interactions be in smaller doses for now...for example, you both are sitting together taking turns feeding her, and you get up to go pick something up, while still in sight, while he feeds her a couple of bites on his own, and then you come back and resume taking turns together again. After some time, your times away increase slightly, but still in her sight, and so on.

jenniepepsi

Everyone gave great advice. all i can add is give it TIME. she is young, and a new person is a strange thing. and frightening sometimes.

i was going to say exactly waht doulalc said, about gradulally shifting things over to him.

Fr_Chuck

If you have been living with your husband for 6 weeks, then you should have dated him what ? maybe 4 or 5 or more months,
During that time he should have been around the child and getting used to the child