[notgrandma]

My son has been in a relationship with a girl for four months. He has decided he wants to be a father to her two children and now I'm suppose to be a grandma. I've only met the children a couple of times but I've been asked constantly to babysit. He has decided that since I didn't attend one of the children's birthday parties and won't be a grandmother, that he wants nothing to do with me. I'm frustrated. I've tried nicely explaining that I just don't know these children and that relationships take time but he is being very rude and disrespectful and sending texts in the middle of the night telling me how he can't believe I'm acting like this.

[shes_cool]

They may not be your biological grandchildren, but your son obviously adores them. So out of respect for him, make some time for them ALL- son, girlfriend & children. Why not a day in the park? Or something that families do together? No one is saying you have to be grandma, but now that they are a part of your sons life, they are a part of yours as well whether you like it or not. Hope it all goes well. Xo

[notgrandma]

I guess I didn't make myself clear. It isn't that I don't want a relationship or that I don't like them. They are sweet little boys. I had meet the oldest child one time and was asked to keep him over night the next weekend. I invited them over for dinner and I had to be the only one to watch the children. They just sat on the couch and yelled at them. (My house isn't child proof so I have a lot of glass, etc.). This wasn't the children's fault so I took them outside to play. The youngest one went back in and I started playing ball with the oldest. We had walked down the street and I look up and the youngest (2 years old) is in the middle of the street because she is asleep on the couch and he just walked outside.

Last year my son was dating a pregnant girl (not his child) but he said she was the one and he wanted to be the father. Well, six months into the pregnancy, he decided he wanted out so he left for work, kissed her and told her he loved her and never came home. Now, I'm not suppose to have anything to do with her or her child even though she named her daughter after my dead daughter. My son's idea. This scenero has taken place many, many times but only the last these involved children. I get attached and when he is through, I'm suppose to pretend the girl never existed even after they have lived with me etc. He has only known this girl four months. They started living together two weeks after they meet (his ex-girlfriend was still living there). And two weeks later was engaged. I didn't attend the youngest one's birthday party (second) because I was so tired. I have to care for my diabled in-laws. They continue to ask them to babysit. My mother-in-law is in a wheelchair and my father-in-law has a morphine pump and has to use a cane to walk. I tried to explain that I just needed time to get to know the kids and them to get to know me and that relationships take time but he said until I could act like a grandma, he wants nothing to do with me. I guess acting like a grandma is babysitting.

[answerme_tender]

I wouldn't acknowledge his disrespectful texting, nor would I be bullied into being anyone's built in bablysitter, or in his words (grandma). Until you actually hear them saying " I do" at their wedding would I worry about being called "grandma". If they get married then by all means I would let them call me grandma.

Sounds like you have a spoiled son, who hasn't learned to grow up and act like a man. He likes to play house way too much.

[notgrandma]

Thank you for the support. I have decided to turn my cell off at night and not respond to hateful texts. I realize that I have spoiled him and dug him out of too many situations and not let him face the problems he created. He will grow up but only if I let him.