Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    T-Bag's Avatar
    T-Bag Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 4, 2009, 07:38 PM
    How can I stop hating women?
    I'm in high school now and the actions of girls and women in general have started to disgust me. Their inferiority, disloyalty, differences from boys, stupidity, and their power over men sickens me. I don't want to be a sexist and I don't want to turn out being gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) when I grow up. I don't know where these ideas came from but its just all the things I saw around me and the classical texts I read depicting woman as disloyal and untrustworthy influenced my thoughts. What can I do to stop feeling this way?

    I really don't want to offend any women out there, so I'm really sorry if reading this bothered you. Please don't judge me harshly.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Mar 4, 2009, 07:51 PM

    I suggest you start meeting the right women who can change your mind. How do you feel about your Mom and Grandma,aunts,sisters?

    It is never wise to paint with such a big brush.That is like saying all guys are jerks,its just not true.

    Women have not and never will be inferior to men.We have many assets that are unique to our sex.

    I suspect that growing up will have a big impact on your narrow mindedness and chauvinism.
    cmhagedorn's Avatar
    cmhagedorn Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Mar 4, 2009, 08:00 PM

    Artlady answered wisely, mine is somewhat the same. I suggest that you stop allowing such messages to envelop your mind. You are young and there is nothing easy about youth... NOTHING... at every corner there are unchartered obstacles to overcome and difficult people girls and boys to deal with. Perhaps you should go to your Pastor/Priest or other religious leader for the biblical solutions to your problem.
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Mar 4, 2009, 08:09 PM

    Wow! I think it's amazing that you recognize that this is wrong and are willing to talk about it.

    Women are depicted in very negative terms and a lot of them buy into the idea that they are unintelligent or that their only role is to entertain men and hopefully be supported.. The disloyalty is really just a guy's perspective, that's all. Most women feel that at least one man they've dated has been disloyal.

    Anyway, Lots of women are very intelligent, have good jobs, are independent, etc.

    On average, women are just as intelligent as men, so get the idea out of your head that they are stupid. The teenage girls at your high school may play a little dumb (while the boys try to pretend they are smarter than they are ), but there's nothing to it. Likewise, women are not less loyal. In fact, I would probably say that on average women are more loyal to their families than men. But the important thing to remember is that these are individual traits. It doesn't matter what the average is. What matters is the character of the person you are with.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #5

    Mar 5, 2009, 02:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by T-Bag View Post
    I'm in high school now and the actions of girls and women in general have started to disgust me. Their inferiority, disloyalty, differences from boys, stupidity, and their power over men sickens me. I don't want to be a sexist and I don't want to turn out being gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) when I grow up. I don't know where these ideas came from but its just all the things I saw around me and the classical texts I read depicting woman as disloyal and untrustworthy influenced my thoughts. What can I do to stop feeling this way?

    I really don't want to offend any women out there, so I'm really sorry if reading this bothered you. Please don't judge me harshly.
    I can sort of see where you are coming from. When I was in high school, and college for that matter, I had very few female friends. I had male friends, and found I had much more in common with them. They weren't dieting all the time, plotting to get some guy, plucking their eyebrows and spending their money on makeup. They were FUN and rode bikes, watched baseball, went ice-fishing and hung out. My three best friends were male.

    That being said, people change, and grow up. We all grow up. But what does that mean. With the women I described, they find their way, and feel comfortable in their own skin. They became confident, trustworthy, hard working. Many have married and had successful marriages and great kids. Others found different paths. But, all of them changed.

    Boys and girls develop differently as well. The behaviour you see now in these girls will not be the same in a few years. Growing up means developing what you need to survive in this world, with all the necessary tools to do so, like work ethic, loyalty, an education, etc. Once a life becomes independent, so too does the individual.

    Give them time, you will find the traits that you think define them now, to be completely different before you know it.
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Mar 5, 2009, 08:09 AM

    What are the specific things in high school girls that disgust you?

    What makes you think they are inferior to men generally and you specifically?
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Mar 5, 2009, 08:24 AM

    How did your father treat your mother? Or how was your mothers relationship if any? Just curious if home life has any influence on the way you veiw women??
    T-Bag's Avatar
    T-Bag Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #8

    Apr 13, 2009, 08:41 PM
    My father treated my mother well... most of the time. I had a strange relationship with my mother. She loved my older brother more than me and thought of him as the ideal human being... although he was far from it. She never hated me, she treated me fine. But I never liked her. Sure she wasn't horrible, she was pretty great actually fulfilling the duties a mother should fulfill and even more. But I just never liked her for some reason. I always looked up to my dad.
    T-Bag's Avatar
    T-Bag Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #9

    Apr 13, 2009, 09:22 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by asking View Post
    What are the specific things in high school girls that disgust you?

    What makes you think they are inferior to men generally and you specifically?
    They're all... you know stupid and stuff. Immature. They think everything is super cute and stuff... hard to explain! And I see them as inferior to men because of the way they act. Despite the several exceptions, they always need a big strong guy to watch out for them. Of course they give birth and but they have ALLOWED society to degrade them.. and for that they are less deserving of respect. No offense girls...
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #10

    Apr 13, 2009, 10:20 PM

    I think the person you don't like is yourself. Maybe you think girls have expectations you don't feel you can live up to, so you transfer your hate to them. You blame them for your feeling bad about yourself.
    It may do you some good to talk to a professional. You are too young to have such feeling towards women and yourself.
    How old are you?
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
    Uber Member
     
    #11

    Apr 13, 2009, 10:30 PM

    Anybody that has such an hatred for others, obviously have that hatred within themselves about themselves.
    mari_'s Avatar
    mari_ Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #12

    Apr 13, 2009, 10:30 PM
    I think in time you will view women differently in time... Maybe your going through a rough time or a low point with women... But in time maybe you will be gay and /or maybe you will find a woman that changes your view point. Just take time out for yourself and not try to look or judge a girl.
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Apr 14, 2009, 07:41 AM

    I agree. There is something in you that you don't like for you to be talking like this. If girls bother you that much then don't pay any attention to them. Your almost coming across to me as being obsessed with girls actions. If you don't like girls or how they act and talk, hang out with the guys. Who cares. I have three images in my head of you. As you grow older you will... 1) change your opinion because there will be special girl that won your heart 2) keep your same attitude and treat women terribly and with no respect and be married and divorced several times 3) your just gay and don't know how to accept it...
    T-Bag's Avatar
    T-Bag Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #14

    Apr 14, 2009, 09:10 AM
    I'm young.. still in high school :)
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #15

    Apr 14, 2009, 10:00 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by T-Bag View Post
    I'm young..still in high school :)
    Then now is a good time to get some help. Your dislike and opinions about females are extreme. Did some girl do or say something to you to hurt your feelings?
    How old are you?
    0rphan's Avatar
    0rphan Posts: 1,282, Reputation: 240
    Ultra Member
     
    #16

    Apr 14, 2009, 11:35 AM

    I think your in a difficult time in your life right now... I think you said you were 14 years old... puberty kicked in etc.. etc...

    Your question asks: how can I stop hating women.

    Your last question was: how can I stop being attracted to women .

    I think you really need to talk to someone about how confused you are.

    Maybe a mate or another member of your family who perhaps you are particularly close too...
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
    Ultra Member
     
    #17

    Apr 14, 2009, 12:07 PM
    I was wondering that myself. Hating women in one post but to attracted to them in another post. You think maybe he did fall for a woman and she hurt him or was mean to him? Is this the case?
    T-Bag's Avatar
    T-Bag Posts: 15, Reputation: 0
    New Member
     
    #18

    Apr 14, 2009, 09:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by 88sunflower View Post
    I was wondering that myself. Hating women in one post but to attracted to them in another post. You think maybe he did fall for a woman and she hurt him or was mean to him? Is this the case?
    You're pretty smart 88sunflower... that is the case. It happened over a year and a half a go, first time it happened and I want to make sure that it's the last time it happens. And I can't get the out of my head. I still have dreams of her (nothing preverted, just normal dreams). I'm not one of those people who take rejection or failure lightly, but I'm not a psycho or anything either! I promise :D Its just that I hate letting a girl get the best of me... [There used to be a bunch of additional info where this sentence is right now but I pressed delete because I felt all gay and girly, writing down my emotions, ugh] Can someone help me? And not in any emotional way, just tell me what to do so I can stop hating women and not be attracted to them either. Thanks :) I really appreciate you guys trying to help me out. Just don't judge me too harshly. And although I probably sound like it, I'm not crazy. I'm just a guy who's not used to getting screwed over, that got screwed over. :(
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #19

    Apr 14, 2009, 10:03 PM

    No one is judging you, but you are at an age where you are going to be attracted to girls. That is nature. Nothing you can do about that. What you can do is learn that in life there is rejection and hurt but you can learn to get past it and move on, this is why I suggest you talk to someone who can help you understand what happened and then get past it. A year and a half ago you were what 12/13, at that age you can exaggerate things or they can seem more serious than what they really are.

    Talk to someone who can help you filter through this so that you can grow and develop as you should.
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
    Ultra Member
     
    #20

    Apr 15, 2009, 07:34 AM
    I had a feeling that's what happened.
    If I felt hatred towards men every time I was hurt I would not be in a good spot today. Its going to happen. It's a part of life. Your going to always have an attraction to women. Some maybe respond to it, others may not. That's a part of life really. Your not getting over it because your obsessed with it. She was maybe your first love, or severe crush and she hurt you. There are still boys today from school I think about. But now, its not because they hurt me, I just think what there lives are like now. You need to realize its part of history, a new road has opened up. Take that journey and don't look back. It will never be what it was. Your hurting yourself more dwelling on it then just forgetting and moving on. Boys and men have emotions. Whatever you were going to write that was gay or girly is totally fine. I would never judge. Men shed tears. Men can have a broken heart. I think you just got a taste of what love and life is about. I think you must realize this isn't the last time you will be hurt. You have many years to find that special love. Until then focus on you. Learn from the past and move forward.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Depressed. And hating it. [ 16 Answers ]

I post on here all the time, and it helps, it really does. But i just can't shake these bad thoughts away..i spent 2 years of my life with someone who said that he wanted to marry me..he now says that he doesnt love me anymore and he never wants to get with me again if the chance were to happen.. i...

When an ex starts hating you. [ 4 Answers ]

Hey. So I've already been here talking about my breakup and how it ended up (Gf of 5 years moved on about a month after we broke up... tried to get her back and it failed). Anyway, what's going on now is a bit... weird. I can't quite understand it, maybe anyone here has some ideas. So we broke...

Don't know how to fix Daughter hating me [ 2 Answers ]

This is going to be hard to keep short because this issue stems all the way from 1992 when my wife and I divorced. I was never able to establish a good father & daughter relationship because my ex-wife decided she never wanted me to see my daughter nor have a relationship with her. Through the...

How to stop hating my mother [ 2 Answers ]

I hate my mother but at the same time I respect her. I tend to do self-destructive things just to make her upset. I know I am hurting myself and I should not hate my mother but I don't know how to change. I frankly wonder if it is even possible to change. What should I do?

Reasond for hating a nice guy? [ 2 Answers ]

Is there something wrong by the nice guy? I don't understand why a person would hate someone that is always being kind, helpful, respectful, funny easy going, talkative, an all around nice guy?


View more questions Search