i'm a 37 year old black male i've been thou just about every hop i can think of i'n trying to better my self and become completely self sufficient in this country but there seems to me to be a mound of spoken and yet un-spoken barriers that i personally can not seem to get past and at 37 years old i'm running out of time to build a platform to retire on and live my latter days in peace.
what is it that is expected of black men, and why doses i seem to be different from what is expected of everyone else.


sincerely,

kanundrum180

450donn

Depending on the region of the country you are living in, there is still discrimination for sure. However my personal prospective attitude plays a bigger part in how a person is accepted. Also in todays work enviroment, education is another big concern. Those of us with only a high school education have far less options than a person with even a 2 year degree. Another problem is language skills. Many people have poor language skills and no matter how high of an education they have poor or sloppy language skills reflect on the person as being incompentent.

simoneaugie

Unspoken barriers. I'll tell you what I have experienced. Black men are kind, and easy to work with and get along with. However, they are usually much kinder if what is happening is "their idea." "What can I get away with today" is an attitude I can spot at 30 feet. Plenty of white folks, mostly young men have this attitude upon arriving at work. Black people, appear 98% of the time, (in my line of work) to have this mind-set.

Why? No one really talks about it directly. Yes, that is an unspoken barrier. It may be culturally supported where I live. But, I don't get it. When I walk through the door at work, I'm thinking of how to get my work done so that I may have extra time to help someone out who needs it. If someone helps me out, I do not expect them to routinely take on my work. They are just using extra time to make my life easier. My life being easier is not dependent on the color of my helper's skin.

If everyone had this attitude, all of the work would get done early and work would be a party. As it is, "what can I get away with today" is both sick and not mentioned to the person's face.

Fr_Chuck

Most barriers are those you choose to see and allow to stop you. Black men succeed in all areas of business and life. Are there some prejustice, yes of course, but then there are groups within the black community that are also prejudice against other races also.

So often it is several issues, one is just luck so to speak, two men are walking down the road, a car turns and hits one of them, why?? who knows. But it is also often how we present ourself and our own mental attitude, if you beleive that being black will stop you, it will, if you understand that nomally it is the economic status we are at or born into regardless of race that effects alot of life, then we can deal with some real issues.

It is like many things, if you wish to find it, ( prejustice) you will find it, if you wish move on with those that find equal value in any person, you will find it also.


so at 37 you already have bought into the idea that you have to do something differnet, most people in america do not become wealthy becuae they decide to put other things first, at 37 what is your education background, do you have a msters degree, if no, why not

What type of work do you do, do you have a IRA or a 401K, are you putting 20 percent or more of your income into it. Do you drive a newer car or a 10 year old car that is paid for to allow yourself to save more money. Most of life is choices, and often if we beleive something or someone is out to get us, we make choices to allow that to come true.

oneguyinohio

I agree that there are many barriers, regardless of race. If a person wants to find possible reasons why people dont chose them for a job, or why they cant seem to catch a break, the race issue is an obvious thing to blame. If you happen to be white, that doesn't apply so then one looks for other reasons... such as I spoke with a southern accent, or I was economically disadvantaged when young, or maybe even the fact that I am male... all might cross ones mind. That kind of thinking doesn't land one a job though, and only serves to add despair and make the process even harder.

Try to have confidence in your abilities, and keep looking for the opportunities to do your best work. Present yourself as the best candidate you can be for the position. There is plenty of competition out there who will also be trying to do the same.

N0help4u

Two places that don't seem to me to have barriers are Atlanta, Georgia and Pittsburgh, Pa.
I know of many very successful black males and black females in Pittsburgh, Pa.
Also many of my black friends are always going to Atlanta and they love it there.
Many whites I know in Ohio are very prejudice and I know SOME southern parts are still rather prejudice.

rab5700

Everyone who is not born rich has the same issues about getting ahead. Although race can be an issue at times I believe that communication skills are the most important. These skill along with written skills can be acquired. Also where you choose to live can play a role. You might want to look into New England were race does not seem to be an issue.

inthebox

K

What have you tried to do to make yourself better? School, learning a trade, networking ? details?

What hoops have you jumped through?

What particular field have you not been achieving in? Atheletics, entertainment, business, healthcare, legal, information technology ? Again, details.

What area of the country are you from or have tried to be sucessful in? Rural urban, coasts?

Yes, there are stereotypes and prejudices, always will be. I'm an ethnic minority, though not black, so I cannot know what you have been through. You have to be BETTER than average to be considered equal. I'm sure women face the same thing.


If you look at suceesful people in general, [ not just Oprah, Colin Powell, Obama, Clarence Thomas, Jordan, Magic, Tiger, Jay Z, Will Smith etc...] they have extraordinary drive, work ethic, and smarts/ education.


K, I wish you the best and more suceess in the future.

dontknownuthin

I am a white woman so won't begin to pretend I understand your life experience. But, I want to offer some perspective just as a person. I've had a few years from hell - no fooling around, it's been a total, unmitigated, big-screen style nightmare.

After going through these years, I was a divorced parent with a hostile ex-husband, who was the only person I knew where I lived, 500 miles from the town I consider "home". I had no prospects for dating, and was 50 pounds overweight. I had been fired by some dishonest people who used me to cover their own illegal maneuverings, and yes, I had played by the rules and followed all the company policies. I could not make my mortgage payments, so had to go to family to bail me out. They did, but I still could not afford to keep my home.

I wanted to move, but taking my daughter out of state required going through a lengthy court battle, and I had no money. I had few friends - I lost them in the divorce. I was at my lowest. I was also sick. I was depressed and physically ill, and could not do all that was required of me, but had no choice, so I did too much and got sicker.

One day, I got fed up. I put my house on the market and hired a lawyer. I told him I'd pay him from the procedes of my house sale, and paid his retainer by skipping payments on some other bills, which of course, were important. This wasn't acceptable to the bill collectors, but it was what I needed to do to change my life. I put my money where my priorities were at that moment to change my life in a positive way.

I sold my house, and moved in wth my parents. I'm older than you by several years...this was not ideal but it was what I had to do, and they were good enough to have me, and my daughter, and our cat. We put our stuff in storage. The legal battle took over a year and ultimately I won. I spent all the money from my house, and another $12,000 beyond that. Remember...I didn't have a job. Black, white, brown or green - if you are broke, you are broke.

I got a job that was beneath me, and then another. I have a degree, but needed immediate income and was not able to find professional work - for two years.

At my lowest, I wanted to die. That was 10 months ago. Now, I am very, very happy. I still have a long way to go but I've paid off my debt, have some savings toward my next home, am living among my family and friends. I gained another 10 pounds from the stress of this situation, but now I'm taking that off. My crappy job? I acted like it was the most important job I've ever had and it lead to another job, and another. Now I'm making more money than I ever have before. I will buy a house in a year. And the situation that made my finances so aweful - the mortgage mess? Well, it's going to help me in the long run because the prices of the houses where I want to buy, totally out of my reach before, will be affordable to me when I'm ready.

My daughter is doing well because I'm doing well. She never went without, but she had a miserably unhappy mother, which is a crappy example. Now she has a mother who fixes what's broken and shows her not to accept what "society" has mapped out for her.

I'm not rich, but I will be. I'm not thin and beautiful, but I will be. Everyday I'm more rich, more thin, more beautiful, more successful than the day before. I haven't arrived, but I'm on the train. I'm going back for my graduate degree, too.

People don't try to loose weight because it is hard, and it takes so long. Well, it is just as hard, and takes just as long to stay fat.

People don't go back to school because it's hard, and it takes too long and it costs a lot of money. It's also hard to do work that does not engage your intelligence, it's boring and it takes your entire lifetime, during which time you dno't make a fraction of what you'd earn with an education.

I realized that there are people who change their lives, and people who are waiting for their lives to change. The first group make progress, the second group don't.

Does this address the question about the plight of black men? No. What I'm saying is that you can change the plight of one black man - yourself. And when you are at the top of the cliff, you can reach back and help someone else.
It's not fair that it's harder for you, but that won't change in your lifetime so you need to forget about that. Work for change, but start with what is in control - your own decisions, your own actions, your own efforts and the content of your own character.

Take charge. You know what to do, you have just hessitated to do it. You and most everyone else! Every day, pick one thing you will do to change your life, and a year from now, you won't believe how far you've come.

And, you aren't old. You have over 25 years to prepare for retirement. People have made fortunes by the age of 30, starting at 20. Why can't you do it from the years of 38 to 48? No reason, is there?

God bless. And, read "The Secret". Ignore the people who say it's corny. Maybe so, but if corny works, go for it!