Highschool is almost over for me, and I am very serious about this relationship I have with my boyfriend. He is from Iran, whitch means his family is VERY different from my hot dog eating, loud, non-artistic, small, divorced family.
He is persian. His parents want two things for thery're only child.
1) An extremely prestigous education
2)Too stay true to the middle eastern culture. (Music, language ect)

Our parents do not understand eachother and his have had withdrawls on his relationship with me. They know we have a high chance of attending the same college and even having a future. It scares them. This boy has been my bestfriend for years and my boyfriend also. I am willing to do anything to have a warm and peaceful relationship with his family.
I really needs advise and tips on how to show these parents that I have the best of interest for their son and only want to love him and see that he has an incredible future.

Please , give me any advise you have to offer!!!!!!!!!!!!! Any is greatly appreciated

shibahar

try to learn farsi(persian) and show interest in iranian language and culture.

EliseLynn

I am so happy to see this has not become a racial issue - in that his evil foreign family is infringing on your american rights. LOL so many people do that! It is good you see his culture as valid.

From high school, through college, and into adult hood will give way to a lot of change. Both in your views of the world, your views of each other, and your views of your situation. True love now may dwindle as you drift apart. Don't do something that will damage your or his family ties. You can hope, trust and feel it will last forever. But realistically recognize that a lot of change is coming. Heck, if you loved Brittany Spears in mid-school, you'd be regretting a tattoo of her name now right? You can't foresee the future.

On the other end it may grown stronger. He may, as he gains independence say he is only willing to compromise some with his family and not put a lot of pressure on you.

My key advice is not to do anything drastic one way or the other. Stay true to you, and keep tabs on everything, constantly re-assess if this is healthy for you. Almost all cultures do not like someone pretending to be a part of it when they are not. Almost all members of a culture are proud and love their culture, and like to talk about their culture and tell you how great it is. Listen quietly, learn, you don't have to agree, don't argue it or give alternative view. Ask more questions. In most cultures, if you win the mom. You are golden.

dontknownuthin

I think the best thing you can do is learn about his culture, and support him in meeting the objectives his parents have set for him, such as his educational goals. Respect for parents and in-laws is very, very important in Persian culture and dating is not normally done, so that's something they have to get used to even if you were also Persian.

Show an interest in his family, and don't compete with them for his time and attention. Encourage him to be responsible and to honor his parents, and they will view you as a positive influence on their son. Modesty could also be important - consider what you choose to wear to their home - short shorts, spaghetti straps and such could offend them. Again, learn what their expectations are and be concious of the etiquette of their culture.

If you remain together beyond your teen years, he might have to just go against their wishes, but if you've given them no reason to dislike you, it will be easier for him, and for them, to make the situation work.

tomder55

My advice is to be very careful here. Know for sure what he intends.Is he a conservative practitioner of his faith ?

American women who marry or have serious relations with Muslim's;especially from the ME often get a different bargain than they signed up for . Suggest you read "Not Without My Daughter" by Betty Mahmoody .
Amazon.com: Not without My Daughter (9780552152167): Betty Mahmoody: Books
I'm not saying don't .....I'm just saying that you should have a clear mind about where this could lead.

edit : I was in Iran in the 1970s and for my 2 cents the men in Tehran appeared progressive . The revolution supprised many of us. I am not sure about the people now although the protests over the elections are encourging .