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    LJDK's Avatar
    LJDK Posts: 281, Reputation: 25
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    #1

    Jul 6, 2010, 01:16 AM
    Dealing with parents and parents in law
    Im getting married soon. Both parties wants us to have a little service of sorts. Praying etc.

    The only problem is I don't believe in any religion. I was brought up to be a christian but a few years ago came to the realisation that its all misinformation. I have tried explaing to the parents we do not want a church service and stuff like that, but they keep insisting.

    Don't know how to handle this
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Jul 6, 2010, 02:57 AM

    Why don't you have a civil ceremony in a court house by a Justice of the Peace ?

    Tick
    LJDK's Avatar
    LJDK Posts: 281, Reputation: 25
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    #3

    Jul 6, 2010, 03:52 AM

    Well the wedding plans have been made and we are being married by my fiance's uncle who is a man of the church. He said that according to his agreement he must give a small ceremony
    Hexxie's Avatar
    Hexxie Posts: 152, Reputation: 12
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    #4

    Jul 6, 2010, 11:21 AM
    Hello LJDK,

    I am curious as to what "agreement" he is referring to. Obviously it is not one with you so I am going to assume it is with his church. Are you getting married in his parish? If so, and if he has an obligation to fulfil, then you might be at a compromise.

    If this is the case, you (the two of you) might want to sit down with him and go over the ceremony. I don't just mean the process, I mean the actual wording that will be said. Remember, this is YOUR special day and you have the right to have a ceremony you both feel comfortable with. I perform weddings, anywhere from secular to traditional, and just because you are having a ceremony does not have to mean you are having a full on mass service. Please, speak with your minister so that together you can all come up with a solution that is satisfactory. There are many online sources for finding wedding prose, poems, prayers, and vows. Perhaps you can find a situable substitution for anything you and your fiancé do not feel comfortable with there. The important thing is that you communicate with your minister (a good minister will listen to you for this day is all about you and not about them).

    Even though you love your families, frankly this is between you, your fiancé, and your minister. If it turns out that there is just no working this out and you and your fiancé still feel uncomfortable, you may want to look into having another minister perform your wedding. One you do feel comfortable with. But please be aware that the latter can cause hurt feelings and lead to issues in the family, leading to added stress for you now and possible rifts later. Sit down with your fiancé and talk it over before making such a decision. You may find the compromise is really not so bad after all. Only you (the two of you) can decide. Good luck to you. I wish you much love.
    Hexxie's Avatar
    Hexxie Posts: 152, Reputation: 12
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    #5

    Jul 16, 2010, 06:32 PM
    You are welcome.
    Hexxie's Avatar
    Hexxie Posts: 152, Reputation: 12
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    #6

    Jul 16, 2010, 06:32 PM
    Many blessings to you both.

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