My husband's brother and sister-in-law were killed in a car accident a couple of weeks ago. We attended the funeral and the shiva, which is a traditional Jewish mourning period lasting 7 days. We have also adopted their children, a 4 and 6 year old. Since we've been back home, I've been thinking of various ways to help the children through this. Traditionally, Jews say special prayers called kaddish for 11 months after the death of a close family member. I've been doing a bit of reading about kaddish and I discovered that it is more for the benefit of the mourners than the deceased. So, I've been thinking of taking the children to the synagogue so they can say kaddish for their parents. I of course would say it along with them. We live only 3 blocks from a synagogue so we could easily walk there each morning.

My problem is that, since I am an agnostic and haven't really decided what I believe about G-d, I feel like a hypocrite for taking the children to the synagogue to pray. I talked to the rabbi and he said that as a Jew I am most welcome regardless of what I believe or don't believe. But I still feel hypocritical about it. I try to tell myself that I'm doing something good for the children, to help them. Is that good enough?

ScottGem

Hypocracy is not at issue here. These children are too young to fully understand the tragedy that has befallen them. Anything that can provide them with solace and a focus for their grief will help them. What you are doing is for them, not yourself. As they get older, you can explain to them your beliefs and the reasons for them. Let them decide when they are old enough what they want to believe.

On a separate note, since we have very similar beliefs as we've discovered in the past, I caught the tail end of a George Carlin performance on cable last night. If you can find that and watch it, I think you find George holds similar beliefs.

orange

Spring Bunnies???? LMAO!! I've never heard of that, I'll have to go to the store to look!

Well I'll try to a share little bits and pieces as I do them. I might post something general about Passover either here or in the Tips forum, as Passover is very close. And if you ever come up way up here to northwestern Canada... can't imagine why you'd want to, between the cold and the mosquitos LOL, although we do have some of the best hunting and fishing in the world, apparently... but if you ever do, you and your family are welcome to visit and celebrate with us.

orange

Oh that's interesting about George Carlin. I knew he was a stand-up comic, but I've only seen him in the Bill & Ted Adventure movies, haha. I assume you saw him on The Comedy Network or Comedy Central? I'll have to check for a listing. Thanks.

orange

Well as an update we have gone to synagogue 2 mornings in a row now, yesterday and today. It's gone really well... the other people praying (mostly older retired men) are very welcoming, interested in my pregnancy, and have been extremely kind to the children. I suspect they like seeing younger families attending services. It's surprising to me, but I'm actually really enjoying it, and I think I will keep going even if the children get tired of it. But so far they are enjoying it.

Fr_Chuck

Do they have services every morning for the public. That various people attend. Are the prayers ever in English or are they all in Hewbrew?

( our church has a morning prayer service every morning)

orange

Yes, there is a short prayer service (25 minutes or so) every morning except Saturday. Saturday is the Sabbath, so there is a much longer service on that day... close to 3 hours!!! Eeek. Haha. There's also an hour long service on Friday night, since that's the eve of the Sabbath.

The prayers at the weekday services are completely in Hebrew. The Friday night service and Saturday service have some English. The sermon is in English, and some of the psalms are recited in English too. But the Torah readings and most of the prayers are all in Hebrew. Actually most of the service is sung or chanted rather than spoken, so once you get the hang of the melodies it's really quite uplifting. If you don't read or understand any Hebrew, the prayer books have the English equivalent next to the Hebrew... like, Hebrew on one side of the book and English on the other. So you can still follow along.

Apparently though some synagogues have less Hebrew. This particular synagogue has more traditionally minded congregants, so there is more Hebrew.

Fr_Chuck

Somewhat simular, we have morning prayers each morning, about 20 to 30 minutes ( the larger churches have evening service also nornally where they have one than one pastor employed)

We don't do a Saturday morning service but do have the Sunday morning service.

Our service is about a hour to hour and half. Now in the Eastern Orthodox the orginal service took about 3 hours also, but people were free to come and go from the service ( it is done with everyone standing)

We changed to Western Orthodox and latter to more Catholic style of service

orange

Yes, same here. There is an evening service in larger synagogues.

Oh that's interesting, the Eastern Orthodox traditions sound quite similar to the Jewish in that respect. With the 3-hour Torah service on Saturday, you can also come and go as you please, although it's considered disrespectful to walk around when the Rabbi is reading from the Torah. But for the rest of the service people come and go. Children are also allowed to play (within reason) during the service. In the Eastern Orthodox, does the priest also stand with his back to the congregation? Because that's what the Rabbi does here, except for the sermon, of course. But I've noticed in churches I've visited that the priest or minister always faces the people.