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jddaman23 · Jun 28, 2009, 03:43 PM

Asking is not an option. Web is only option...

Alty · Jun 28, 2009, 03:44 PM

Why can't you ask?

It's a bit suspicious.

jddaman23 · Jun 28, 2009, 04:02 PM

Well because I need to find out the maiden name, so I can call every number in stillwater Oklahoma to see if they may of may not know the sister of the girl I am in love with, then if they do ask for the address because my love is staying there for a few weeks. Send her flowers, and a card telling her how much she means to me... and all this effort is for a maybe.

jddaman23 · Jun 28, 2009, 04:04 PM

And hopefully win her back and convince her I am the guy for her...

Alty · Jun 28, 2009, 04:05 PM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

well becuase i need to find out the maiden name, so i can call every number in stillwater oklahoma to see if they may of may not know the sister of the girl i am in love with, then if they do ask for the adress becuase my love is staying there for a few weeks. Send her flowers, and a card telling her how much she means to me... and all this effort is for a maybe.

Why can't you just ask her where she is?

Still sounds fishy. If she wanted you to know where she is wouldn't she tell you?

jddaman23 · Jun 28, 2009, 04:18 PM

Well we have been long distance relationship and I want to surprise her. We broke up and I feel I need to prove myself to her, I told her this is the last thing I do, I promise. Pinky(thats our thing, pinky promise) and she will think it is extremely romantic how I send her flowers when I am in Kentucky and she in Oklahoma, thought she doesn't live there, she lives in colombus.

Alty · Jun 28, 2009, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

well we have been long distance relationship and i want to surprise her. We broke up and i feel i need to prove myself to her, i told her this is the last thing i do, i promise. pinky(thats our thing, pinky promise) and she will think it is extremly romantic how i send her flowers when i am in kentucky and she in oklahoma, thought she doesn't live there, she lives in colombus.

If she broke up with you then let her be.

This is a bad idea, sounds like stalking and not at all appropriate.

Like I said, if she wanted you to know where she is, she'd tell you.

Let her be. When and if she wants to talk to you she will.

twinkiedooter · Jun 28, 2009, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

well we have been long distance relationship and i want to surprise her. We broke up and i feel i need to prove myself to her, i told her this is the last thing i do, i promise. pinky(thats our thing, pinky promise) and she will think it is extremly romantic how i send her flowers when i am in kentucky and she in oklahoma, thought she doesn't live there, she lives in colombus.

If you did that to me I'd freak out and definitely not think it was "romantic". You need to wait until she comes back home. Yes, I know it will be hard, but if you DO find out just where she is staying you will definitely freak her out big time. Better not do it.

jddaman23 · Jun 28, 2009, 04:48 PM

I know she loves me, and I know where she is at just not specifically. And she would tell me if I asked. I just want to surprise her. This will be my only effort to get her to come back. I know she is strong. I won't just give up on something special. People give up all the time. I can't lose her. Not yet. I lover her. She knows that. She wants someone who can be there for her and I will. There is a gnawing pain in my heart without her, its getting worse. I think she is merely scared. I want to be her superman. So maybe it is freaky, I will give you that, but she loves me for who I am and the things I do so I am asking for your help. Help me convince the girl I love I am the man for her...

Alty · Jun 28, 2009, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

i know she loves me, and i know where she is at just not specifically. and she would tell me if i asked. i just want to surprise her. This will be my only effort to get her to come back. I know she is strong. I won't just give up on somthing special. People give up all the time. I can't lose her. not yet. I lover her. She knows that. She wants someone who can be there for her and i will. There is a gnawing pain in my heart without her, its getting worse. I think she is mearly scared. I want to be her superman. So maybe it is freaky, i will give you that, but she loves me for who i am and the things i do so i am asking for your help. Help me convince the girl i love i am the man for her...

Sorry, no help from me.

Maybe someone else will decide this is a good idea, but I'm out.

Good luck.

stevetcg · Jun 28, 2009, 05:44 PM

Yeah - sounds kind of stalkerish to me. Sorry dude... skip the surprise.

jddaman23 · Jun 28, 2009, 08:00 PM

I know it sounds stalkerish but don't you think I shpuld follow my heart instead of my head?

stevetcg · Jun 29, 2009, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

I know it sounds stalkerish but don't you think i shpuld follow my heart instead of my head?

No, I don't. The only thing that comes from following your heart is heartache. If you come off as a stalker, you stand NO chance in this.

jddaman23 · Jun 29, 2009, 09:42 AM

My heart is already in pain. It causes me to feel naseuse and my stomach hurts. I lost my appitite. It may go away knowing I tried. She is such a loving and understanding person, she wouldn't think of my as a stalker. She was always nice to me, she was the best thing to happen to me. No one can ever be like her. I know it sounds wrong to go after her, but its what my heart says and I have faith that she will realize how much she means to me.

Alty · Jun 29, 2009, 09:45 AM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

My heart is already in pain. it causes me to feel naseuse and my stomache hurts. I lost my appitite. It may go away knowing i tryed. She is such a loving and understanding person, she wouldn't think of my as a stalker. She was always nice to me, she was the best thing to happen to me. No one can ever be like her. I know it sounds wrong to go after her, but its what my heart says and i have faith that she will realize how much she means to me.

Listen to when you just said.

You know it sounds wrong, but, but, but.

If it sounds wrong that's because it is.

She left. She broke up with you. Go to no contact, leave her be. If it's meant to be it will be, but back off now.

What's it going to take? A restraining order?

stevetcg · Jun 29, 2009, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

My heart is already in pain. it causes me to feel naseuse and my stomache hurts. I lost my appitite. It may go away knowing i tryed. She is such a loving and understanding person, she wouldn't think of my as a stalker. She was always nice to me, she was the best thing to happen to me. No one can ever be like her. I know it sounds wrong to go after her, but its what my heart says and i have faith that she will realize how much she means to me.

Dude - she dumped you. Get over it and move on with your life. She doesn't want to be with you. If she did, you would know how to find her.

ZoeMarie · Jun 29, 2009, 11:07 AM

Ok, so I read something that Rome had on another post today, but I can't remember which one. But his said something along the lines of "if your arm was broken would you use it?" to suggest that you probably shouldn't use your heart when it's broken.

(Sorry Rome. I botched it all up).

JudyKayTee · Jun 29, 2009, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

I know it sounds stalkerish but don't you think i shpuld follow my heart instead of my head?

Both your heart and your head will be put in jail for stalking - or both will be very damaged by whatever happens next.

Every stalker says the same thing - "But he/she was always so NICE to me. I didn't think they'd mind if I <fill the blank in here>." Didn't Mark Chapman tell the Police what a nice guy John Lennon was?

It's over. Move on.

jddaman23 · Jun 29, 2009, 12:34 PM

I can't drive to her house. I can't see her. Its not stalking. If she asks me to stop I will, because I love her. But I know that she loves me back, that's where the persistans is comes from

Alty · Jun 29, 2009, 12:56 PM

Originally Posted by jddaman23

I can't drive to her house. I can't see her. Its not stalking. if she asks me to stop i will, because i love her. but i know that she loves me back, thats where the persistans is comes from

SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU!!

She doesn't love you, she left you. If she loved you she'd still be with you.

This is all in your head and you won't let it go. That's why there's a problem.

She doesn't want to see you. Why do you think she left, didn't tell you where she is, no number, no address, nothing.

If that isn't clear then what will it take to make it clear?

Just because you can't physically stalk her doesn't mean you aren't a stalker. I'd bet money that you would be driving by her house, sending her stuff, calling her, texting her, following her if you could.

Walk away. Get help. Move on!