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stuck719 · May 12, 2008, 10:39 PM

I guess I was scared that she would control my life. I try to stop thinking about her. No luck. Too much in common. I want my old life back (keep on dreaming) I know I need to move forward. I keep thinking that I should move back closer to her. (I think she's done with me though) But, still I think... just maybe we can be together again. Maybe I'm just fantisizing: Making her out to be better than she is. I can't stop thinking about her. She doesn't ever call. Yet, I want to call her. I want her to be happy so, I don't want to bother her. Plus, what would we say. If she wanted to talk to me then she would call. Unless she just doesn't want me to hurt (letting me down easy) I miss her so much. I miss her voice, laugh, the way she talked to her cat, her talent, her touch, her humor. I guess I can't let go because if I do, what if she wants to get back with me. (not likely, but what if?) I'm a wreck. I've got so much going for me and my life. So much potential but it's worthless to me. I want to share it with her. I've never felt this sad for so long. I can see that I'm hurting people close to me. I want to be happy. (I guess I just have to decide, right?) I feel stupid. I don't blame anyone for not responding to this if that's the case. I'm at my wit's end. I simply want to talk to someone anonymously so that I can get it all out on the table. (Please, no Christians telling me I need to find Jesus. I'm not against spiritual things but... I don't know... whatever)

startover22 · May 12, 2008, 10:44 PM

Stuck... this is all so normal. Have you talked to her sweet heart? Just because you broke it off doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. You can get it out here... go ahead;)

startover22 · May 12, 2008, 11:10 PM

Originally Posted by stuck719

The last time we talked, she called me. I was so happy (stunned) that she called. She told me that she was getting married (to do the guy a favor,....green card) So, I believe her. She said she would call back......... I don't know if I should call her. I want to. I don't want to be a puss. I feel if I chase after her, she will have the upper hand. She loved me at one time. I was just a jerk to her and she doesn't want to be hurt anymore. I feel like an awful person. Also, very angry with myself.....(I know, I know. I shouldn't do that. Thank you for answering. I don't know if you can help me. Only I can help me right? Seems everytime I try to move on.... Maybe I just need some sleep. I feel so unthankful. I have so many that love me but I don't care. Very angry. Well, I don't want to burden you. I don't know you so, maybe it's not a burden for you. Well, anyway. Thanks for the response.

Yes, only you can help you. But you know something, it sure is nice to have the support of the people you love and your friends... even getting support here helps. Is she really moving on?

stuck719 · May 13, 2008, 09:06 AM

I think she is moving on. She told me so. Plus, she never calls me. I don't want to be a stalker (even though she's across the country) And I have a lot of opportunity where I live now. But I miss the other side of the country. I'm closer to my family now (ma, pa, sis, bro, nephew, niece) but I don't seem to fit here. Thinking about moving back any way. Even if her and I don't get together. (Although, I'd be hoping for a chance)
Is she playing hard to get? Does she want me to go after her? I just don't know.

startover22 · May 13, 2008, 09:23 AM

If she told you she was going to get married, then she probably is hoping for you to move on. Remember stuck, you can't make someone love you, you can't make them see how you feel. It appears tome that you may need to get on with it. Make your days go by faster by keeping busy with things you like to do. The more time that goes by the better it gets. I can tell you are hurting. I am sorry for that. YOu just have to start getting on with it. No contact is was many people here use to get over and get on with things. I will see if I can't find the lik to that for you.;)

startover22 · May 13, 2008, 09:28 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ght=no+contact

You can use a few tools to help getting on with things. These threads have great advice and if you are willing to make your life better, I would use the tools that work best for you! ;)

startover22 · May 13, 2008, 09:28 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

Here is the second but most imortant of the two... at least in my opinion!

stuck719 · May 13, 2008, 09:32 AM

No contact? What's that? Oh well, cool, yeah, send me the link.

startover22 · May 13, 2008, 09:35 AM

I sent it... go look! It is like a support system for people ready to move on...
Also on the other thread there are tips and things you can do to keep yourself busy while you do this!

l341972 · May 13, 2008, 09:35 AM

Man as hard as it seems right now the pain will go away.Open your eyes you are not isolated from the rest of the world.If this woman is marrying someone regardless of her reason she doesn't love and doesn't deserve you.Thats our problem men we give ourselves over to people for the worst reasons.Look my friend this isn't your first rodeo,rent a movie,go to the mall and window shop,look at all the ladies out there,and remember many women would love to have a man that adores them as much as you do this woman.So quit wasting your tears on someone who doesn't deserve them.

cristo3214 · May 18, 2010, 08:35 PM

I did the same ing , left the girl I love, thinking it was over, thinking we couldn't be happy, thinking I could have better; wrong, wrong, wrong. And now I can't get to see her hug anyone, getting tickled by other boys (on the ribs and belly, to pick her) I am so ashamed of myself. And now she's thinking about other boys and stuff... Damn it, but guess I have to get over it, even if she doesn't know if she wants to get back with me. It's one of the worst emotional situation ever, so people, before you leave someone, think about it, a long time, a ing long time

DrBill100 · May 18, 2010, 09:51 PM

I had a slightly different experience. I married later in life. A very beautiful woman. She was a great housekeeper, good cook. But I wasn't used to cleaning up after myself. I let my dog sleep on the couch. I seldom made my bed, kicked my socks under the chair and left the towel on the floor after I showered. So she complained a lot. Plus she thought I drank too much beer... insisted I take out the trash, bring in the groceries.

In short order she issued an ultimatum. Either, I had to start picking up after myself, help around the house and quit drinking beer or else she was leaving.

That was 10 years ago, but even now, every night before I go to sleep I say a little prayer and thank God and Budweiser she's gone.