I have been on this site for only a few months, in that time I have seen numerous posts that start of like this.

Hi, I am a teenager, I had unprotected sex, could I be pregnant, what do I do?

Isn't there sex education in our schools anymore. If so, what are they teaching them, abstinence? Obviously that isn't working.

I'm here to tell all you teenagers. Stop having unprotected sex. The only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence (meaning don't have sex). If you have unprotected sex even once, you have a very high chance of being called Mommy in nine months.

I don't know how the rest of you feel about this, it just sickens me that there are so many young people who are potentially messing up their lives by having unprotected sex. Not to mention the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. What can we do about this growing concern.

Teens, I'd like your input to. What do you need in order for you to be prepared to make better decisions in your life.

Wondergirl

Like Synnen said, Yes, teenagers believe "it" (pregnancy, car accident, trouble with the law, whatever) won't happen to them.


In the '50s and before, many parents didn't tell their children about sex because the parents believed that was a green light for the kids to actually have sex. The less kids knew, parents felt, the better off the kids were. It kinda worked, partly because there was no readily-available birth control, and many teens were too scared of the unknown sexual landscape and too afraid of their parents to experiment with sex. There was a lot of misinformation passed around the teen community. Our heroes were those kids who had had sex and lived to tell about it. From what I hear, sex education today isn't much better.

And I just thought of a new question to post.

Altenweg

That is really scary. To think that we have slipped back into the 50's. Is it really the fact that we aren't talking to kids about sex, or are they just not listening?

There are so many teens on this site that think they might be pregnant. News flash, if you have unprotected sex you could be pregnant, I thought that was a well known fact, but apparently not.

These teens obviously have internet access, there is so much information out there, why aren't they accessing it? Not that I'm saying they should get their information only from the internet, but obviously some of these kids have nowhere else to go.

Wondergirl- start your new post, I'll be looking for it.

Allheart

Hi Alt - Great thread. Defintely a topic that needs exposure.

I didn't have peer pressure. I had Mom pressure and then Catholic school on top of that..
Boys????

But what works for one, may not for another. All I know is, I had one person that I cared what they thought and that was Mom. Period.

I was just too darn afraid. It just didn't seem worth it.

There were a handful of girls who got pregnant in school and I felt so bad for them.
They would cry to me and honestly in my 17 year old head I was thinking, Gosh, I just wish you cried THAT night, now it's just too late. It just broke my heart to see them so upset and all that lied ahead.

Back then they made the girls leave school, which made me so mad. But I don't think they make them leave today, I hope not.

I just thank God my Mom was as strict as she was (for this issue anyway). She had 5 girls so I guess she had to.

But who knows what I would get myself into if it weren't for Mom.

Mom's way sure worked for me though.

Altenweg

Hi Allheart - Peer pressure was definitely present when I was a teen, but I also didn't want to disappoint my parents, their opinion meant allot to me.

I went to a Catholic School and we had allot of pregnancies. The funny thing is, we had sex education. Of course abstinence was the first thing that we were taught, but at that time (1984-1988) they understood that this wasn't realistic, so they also taught us about birth control. I'm just wondering why teens today don't seem to have the information I received more than 20 years ago. Are we taking a step back?

N0help4u

They are teaching them sex education but they say abstinence =morals, morals = religion and therefore that would be so wrong of them to teach anything like that.

so they only teach them the actual sex stuff and leave it up to them to do whatever they please.
They teach them to put condoms on produce in the 6th grade, then they hand them condoms by the 9th grade. They are not taught that it should be something that includes love, emotion, responsibility, etc....cause then they 'would be imposing values'. Then if the girl gets pregnant in some states the school will take the girl for an abortion and her family never knows she is pregnant.
Look at all the questions here from kids worried because they think "something is wrong with them cause they are still a virgin.
Remember the good old days when we had to get a note signed by our parents so we could go to the theater to see a movie? Them days are LONG gone!

Synnen

With all due respect---

I don't WANT the school teaching my kids values. That's MY job.

Granted, I think teaching sex-ed is MY job too, but I have no problem with the school teaching the mechanics of it. After all, those teachers are more up to date on contraceptive statistics than I am, anyway.

However--morals ARE, in a way, religion. I don't want someone teaching my 13 year old that sex is BAD--because SEX isn't bad, it's the reasons some people have it that is bad. I don't want them teaching NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE, because not only is that unreasonable--that's still a religious conviction. I see no reason why anyone should have to wait until marriage for sex, really. So--there, morals would differ. I also see no reason why love would HAVE to be involved. Sex is fun even without love, as long as you understand the consequences of it.

And really---you still DO have to have a permission slip from your parents to take sex-ed. If you don't want your kids learning how to put a condom on a cucumber, then pull them out of the class and teach them yourself.

N0help4u

They may be more up to date and all but it seems to me the way they teach it it leaves kids thinking it is and should be normal for them to jump from partner to partner and not even consider things like the others emotions, commitment, responsibility.
I just know so many girls that have their first baby by the time they are 14. By the time they are 16 they are with their 10th bf and having their second baby. By the time they are 21 they have their 3rd baby to their 30th bf. They bring home more bf's in one year than their kids get new shoes in a year. They tell them this is your new daddy. The kids have 7 new daddys in one year. It has to confuse them, but that is okay because there shouldn't be values or morals.
I think there needs to be some kind of balance somehow -somewhere.

You don't have to have a permission slip from your parents for sex education.
I am a mom with 4 grown kids and they had the sex education in the public schools and they NEVER had to have a permission slip and I have even known girls who the schools got them the abortions without parents knowing.

J_9

This statement is VERY true. At least in my school district. 2 years ago my daughter brought home a program I had to read and either agree or disagree with. It was a sex-ed brochure. I then had to attend a parent's night to discuss the curriculum. In each grade, from 6th through 9th the material expands and their horizons are "broadened" by educators who know the FACTS, who are up on the material.

However, we, as parents, had the right to refuse this education. IF we refused, we had to teach the program at home and the children still had to pass the same test. At my school district this is one test that must be passed to go on to the next grade. Guess what, only 1, yes I said ONE, teen pregnancy in our high school last year.

Of course I signed the permission slip. My daughter already KNEW sex-ed up to the 9th grade level. Why? I TAUGHT HER!!! I felt it my responsibility to teach my children what they should know.

HOWEVER, there are parents who are ill-informed, don't have all the facts and the facts they do have are somewhat distorted. There are parents, especially in the area of the country I live in, that feel that talking with their children about sex is taboo.

Our children are growing up so fast these days with Mom's having to work and Dad's having to work. Moms and Dads or Moms and Step-Dads......two entirely different families...latch key kids etc.

I saw a slide show last semester that scared me out of marital sex, LOL. It was pictures of all the STDs out there and the damage they do. If we could use this in schools it would be helpful, but I doubt it would curb the problem that much.

These kids just want someone to love them. They think having a baby will accomplish that, they don't realize what they are getting into.

My daughter was in the labor and delivery room when I had my son (she was 8 at the time) and she swears she will remain a virgin forever!!! LOL

Synnen

The balance is PARENTS.

Seriously. This isn't a subject change, but--how would you feel about a teacher using corporal punishment on a child? Pretty outraged, right? I mean, how DARE a teacher, even for the child's own good, choose what punishment YOUR child gets! Wouldn't you rather have a teacher call you, and let YOU decide the punishment?

So...why would teaching morals be different than punishing a child? Why should a teacher be able to use THEIR judgement on morals for YOUR child.

For instance, if I were a teacher, I'd teach that sex is a lot of fun, but it comes with a lot of responsibility. I'd take classes to abortion clinics. I'd take them to adoption clinics. I'd take them to welfare lines. I'd take them to see STDs being treated. And I'd take them to see a mother lovingly caressing her newborn.

Which image do you think would stick with a lonely child who wants nothing more than to be loved to begin with?

And the thing is--these girls DO think they're in love!! They're not having random sex--they're having sex with their boyfriend, who they LOVE! Read all the teenage questions here about their boyfriends/girlfriends. They ALL talk about how much they LOVE them!

As far as responsibility--most kids today either know too much or too little. Either their parents give them NO chores, and let them do whatever they want so that they'll be happy kids, or they delegate ALL of the household stuff to their kids, showing them that being an adult means being in CHARGE! And all they have to do is have a kid to boss around to get out of it!

It's not about teaching about sex. It's about parents teaching relationships by example.

Really, aside from love being so maligned by media--the biggest problem today is that everyone thinks they have the RIGHT to be happy, regardless whose expense their own happiness comes at.

J_9

I wish I could rate you here SIS, but we are in discussions board. You took the words right out of my mouth.

But, then again, what about the parents who don't have all the facts. The ones who still believe you can get pregnant from swallowing. Or the ones who are the holy rollers and think that sex is a taboo subject with their children. Living in the bible belt, I see that a lot.