The issue has been raised about extending a public thread privately by using PMs or going off site and/or offline to continue the correspondence.

I think eveyone knows I am very much against a responder offering such contact. I am not against the contact itself, but believe it should be the asker's choice and not the responder's offer.

One of the purposes of keeping discussions public on a site like this is to get a variety of responses or input on a question. Another purpose is to have peer review to make sure answers are accurate. Taking the discussion private removes both of those advantages.

However, I do recognize that there are occassions where it does make sense to take a discussion private. Generally this occurs when the information being shared is private and posting it publicly might cause problems or embarassment to the asker.

My feeling here is that we open this for discussion which may result in a clarification of the guidelines. But if anyone sees an offer for private extension of a thread that the Report Inappropriate Post link be used and let the mods decide whether the post oversteps the guidelines or not.

ScottGem

First, I used the advertising to deal with your previous examples. Your example above is different. Since most people here are anonymous, meaning that there is no connection to their real identity unless they want there to be, there really isn't a need to worry about information being personal. But the real problem is that once someone solicits offline contact, we have no idea what they are doing. We don't know if there is a genuine desire to help or they are looking to sell something or otherwise take advantage. Between the prohibition against advertising and the description of PMing, we cover those eventualities.

The owners of this site make the rules. The moderators, of which I am one of a few, help in making the rules and we interpret and enforce them. As Chuck pointed out, you have had this explained to you already. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt by responding to your inquiries. But the bottomline here is those are the rules.

Alder

Guys, I want to apologize if anything I said here came across as argumentative or confrontational. Such was not my intention. AMHD is a great site, and I'm glad I've found it. It is a great container for free exchange of information. And I very much realize that this site could not work without moderators who are willing to put in a lot of their own time in keeping it on track. I am grateful to you all and appreciative of what you do.

The policy goals of the rule discussed in this thread are very good ones, both that we encourage public sharing of information that anyone with a web browser can tap, and that we protect questioners (many of whom are minors) from inappropriate requests for personal contact.

Fr. Chuck, in particular, I do want to thank you for bringing this issue to my attention. I admit that in skimming through the FAQ when I first found this site, I didn't give much thought to the parameters of the line that questions that can be posted as a thread should not be done by PM, or what that might mean. I don't take offense over the warning. Like I said, I agree with the policy and I will encourage it in my own posts and comments.

Blessings to you all.

Fr_Chuck

Lets say for example Alder, that your reason to get them off board is to offer them a 3 dollar a minute reading, or to sell them some skin lightening product, or some get rich scheme, we have those that do that each week. So often some restrictions have to be used for everyones own protection

I often get forwarded copies of some of the PM, you would just never believe what happens behind the scenes at times

KBC

So the infraction I received for requested offline contact was unfounded and unnecessary,I had personal information I was willing to share with the poster,not to be made public due to embarrassment and whatnot.

Wondergirl

I'm still not clear on the PMing rules. As the AMHD Job Coach, I do my best to advise people who come here for resume and cover letter and other writing help. I also do my best to keep the question on the board, because it may help others with similar concerns.

If someone PMs or emails his resume to me which contains so much personal information, would I be wrong to help him and continue that kind of off-site correspondence? I've been helping people with resumes, etc. since 1985 and have never charged anyone online for my services. (I do charge the real-life clients.)

JudyKayTee

And I get requests for very specific legal information - or research. I tell people I cannot answer off the Board, partly for insurance purposes.

One of my concerns with any off line help is whether or not AMHD is responsible for the correctness of the advice (AMHD being the connection between the two parties); another is that no one learns anything if the advice is given off line; another is that the OP has no idea that the person he/she is asking for advice may not be the most qualified or experienced - or may not just have a screw loose.

OP's in many cases tend to hear only what they want to hear and I see people who should not be doing counselling or giving legal advice doing just that on a regular basis - these are the people the OP would rely on.

??

shazamataz

The only off-line advice I have given is to track down dog shelters or rescues in the OP's area.
I get them to PM me their location and I then find a shelter for them... there is no right or wrong with that answer it's just better for them not to post their state in the public forum.

I recently saw a post by someone where the OP requested to PM another member to talk to them about her situation... now there was no personal information, it's just that the OP liked this persons answer the best... What do you do in that situation?

JudyKayTee

And this is EXACTLY my problem - the fact that the OP "likes" a specific person's advice the best, a specific person says what the OP wants/needs to hear, does NOT make the advice correct. I've seen horrendous advice, again on the legal boards, which would get a person literally arrested and/or sued accepted and the person giving the advice THANKED - meanwhile, others who have posted the Law get criticized because the OP doesn't like the correct advice.

And that's what makes me nervous when a discussion goes off the Board -

Of course, anyone can look at a profile and PM. Question is what happens (also) when you GET that PM?

ScottGem

I disagree. There is nothing wrong with posting their state or general area. I list LI, NY as my location. That covers a wide geographic area populated by several million people. Even listing a large metropolitan area is not a problem. Often, we need to know the general location to provide an accurate answer. If someone lists only a state, one can respond with locations throughout the state and let them pick what is closest to them.

You tell the OP that the rules of this site call for questions to be asked in the public forums and that you will be happy to answer their question there. If they want to make sure you see their question they can PM you a link to it. But don't answer the question privately, unless the answer would involve very specific locations.

shazamataz

Thanks Scott

I do agree with you about the state, it is such a wide area that it would not matter, however I have had people refuse to post that detail on the forum.