At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?
This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!
Classicrocker - Just keep busy. It'll get easier. I have the next 3 weekends booked with stuff to do with family and friends so I'm just looking ahead to that and know that that'll continue to keep my mind of everything.
I know its hard, but you just gotta keep on living. Keep your eye on the prize! And you, healthy and happy and free, is that prize!
ststoleson, the first couple weeks are the toughest. The best thing to do is to put her in the past and focus on yourself. It gets better but you need to invest the time and effort. Acceptance will set you free and keeping yourself active will help clear your mind of her.
I want to add a revelation that I came to today to this post...
It seems that many people wait for a day when they will be "normal" again, or a day when they will be happy all day long. This is what people strive to feel they are getting 'better' again...
The problem I see is that a lot of people just want to be sad for less time as each day passes... However, this isnt the way it works. I'm starting to notice that the healing process is more variable.
As we all ride this emotional rollercoaster, we can begin to tell we are getting better when the swings of depression throughout the day are lessened. Not so much that we are upset for less each day, more like the times we are upset are not as extreme and do not last as long....
bigbird..i feel the same way. The swings just seem to get less intense and less intense. I still think of him and have this underlying feeling of loss all day...but the lows aren't as "low" as it was in the beginning. Anytime, i start to feel down, i just ask myself, "ok, can I handle feeling this way for a little bit?" And the answer, ofcourse is yes. And I remind myself that I lived a pretty happy and content 26 years before meeting him so I must definitely be able to live another 26 years (or god-willing longer) after him.
Atleast we broke up during springtime! The beautiful weather is definitely helping lift my mood.
Indeed it is, I sat outside today, smoking a cigg (which i picked up right away again lol) and i figured out 2 things for certain. YOU cannot make THEM love you! and The ONLY people you need in your life are the ones that NEED you in theirs! I feel really good and I'm hoping that it will continue, I deleted her myspace, facebook, aim, phone number EVERYTHING.. I figured if she wants to come back, she will no matter what, and if she doesnt, then I guess I learned my lesson and will stay away from her. I dont mean to t00t my own horn, but im pretty proud, so far so good..
Good for you ststoleson. In my opinion, i think we might be startin to become the healthiest and happiest "broken hearts club there is." I couldn't sleep last night and I was thinking the same exact thing. I wasn't sad or anything but it was like an epiphany. I can't make him feel the same way i do. If he doesn't feel the same way I do about him, I should be thanking him for breaking up with me and setting me free to one day find that person that wants me in their life as much as I want them in mine! I mean, we were together for 4 years. If you're not sure after 4 years whether you want to be with this person forever, then there's a problem.
There's nothing I can do to make him feel the same way as I do. The only thing I can do is just let it go and say "big friggin deal". NC is the way to go. You can't manipulate, play games, guilt trip, people into wanting you. It'll only backfire in the end. Just be yourself and one day someone will love you like you deserve...just the way you are.
If someone truly loves you, there's nothing that can keep them away from you. If someone doesn't truly love you, there's nothing that can make them stay. (I don't know exactly, the saying goes something like that).
you guys are making some great points! im trying to get to where you guys are and i think i am...today i felt like i just wanted to cry and let it all out but....the tears just never came so i think im starting to pik up those broken pieces of my heart, next step the glue and someone to help me put it all back together. And yes we cant make them love us...
21 days NC 6 days Smoke Free!
Still think about her all day and night!
We were supposed to go to Vegas next weekend together but after she left I gave her ticket to my best friend instead. I think that's making it a little harder. After Vegas I hope it starts to fade away. This is probably one of the most challenging things I've ever done in my 36 years. Maybe because I'm older or the love was stronger. My head is still a mess.
One day at a time!
Don't answer the phone!
Don't Drink and Dial!
Classicrocker - Don't forget. You don't need someonelse to put the pieces of your heart back together. You just need to love yourself and do it yourself. Until your heart is hole again, you won't be able to give it to someonelse.
Trust me! I've been there. Last time we broke up, I thought i was ready to get out there and start looking for a new love after about 2 months. Met someone, really liked him, we were inseparable for about a week until it just ended. And guess who I was calling up for consolation after that went sour...my ex. Big mistake.
Don't try to fill the void with someonelse cause no one can do that. You just need to love yourself and believe, truly believe, that you deserve that in return. Don't rush anything. Just focus on getting through the next couple of months single and fancy free and you'll be fine.
Linear Mode
