The NC Calendar

As I had expected my ex contacted me via text last night. I didn't reply to any of them. I was asleep at the time anyway so I wasn't about to disrupt my beauty sleep for him...yeah who am I kidding? I couldn't go back to sleep for three hours after him texting me over and over. I still did not respond and I won't. He kept saying how I'm being irrational and made a drastic desicion by breaking things off. He said he wanted to be there for me and my child and so on and so on. It felt great to hear those words but what could he's motive really be. I've been down this path many times before and I think I've learned a thing or two. He gets me to come back try again and then a few weeks later he's back to distancing himself with the excuse of work, I don't see him for weeks at a time, says he's coming by and doesn't (not even a courtesy call saying he can't make it) to me these are not signs of a person who is in love with me but more like a user. I still don't get it why be with someone if you are never around anyway? So many questios. As you can see they do come around but you need to look at their motives and decide for yourself if you want to go back to the old days and be with someone that has hurt you deeply or if you are better off alone. I think that's why NC is so important for the healing process and to make a better desicion when they do come around. My head is clear my heart still cloudy so I have to be careful. I have to be honest, I feel empowered by not answering his text, like somehow I am now the one in control sort of speak. Great feeling! Keep being strong

I agree, the NC rule is great. A friend I spoke with last night said that it looked like I was afraid to move on for fears that I might be too far gone if my ex should decide to re-enter the picture. However, she said I need to face this fear head on and just get on with my life. She said hypothetically it's better to start a situation over again when you've moved on from your normal routine and habits. For instance, if we jumped back into our relationship now, we'd be right back where we were with our grudges and bad habits. We'd only have the same problems we used to. However, she said step away and move on, discover you again. If he should return, he'll have to return a different person. However, whether or not you'll be the same is the question. I'm keeping this in mind but I don't want to sit around wondering if he'll return. I know I'd rather be alone right now than enter the situation I just left and have it good for a short while then go right back to the usual toxic mess. I know I'd be better off alone or meeting someone totally new some time in the future. Who knows, maybe it'll work out later on down the road but in the meantime I'm keeping my head up and my eyes open!

...so my friend calls me up today and she asks me hesitatingly, " Hey (my name)...have you been talking to (my ex) recently?" This is after I told her two months ago that I would prefer that she not talk about him to me. This is also a month after I told her the @$$hole thing he did to me, without going into detail since I felt that would put her in an uncomfortable position as a mutual friend, and that I didn't want anything to do with him again.

I replied, "No. I haven't talked to him since." Then, she tells me that he texted her saying that he's going to be in the city this weekend.

I know that I shouldn't care, but I just don't understand why she brought him up with me? That's like picking at a fresh scar. I mean, yes it's healed over, but it's still there.

True, I don't want to see him ever again, but now I can't help wondering if he's going to be around this weekend and if he's going to hang out with my friend. Ugh. The fact that I care shows that I'm still smarting. :T

Eh. Perhaps it's because she thought that he contacted you to see if you two wanted to meet up (since he contacted her...).

As you said, it may also be an indirect way for her to ask if it's ok if she hangs out with him.

Let it go jilted...let it go.

If it makes you feel any better, my ex is currently on a cruise with her new guy...while I'm working...for spring break. Yep.

Oh man. I thought I did let it go. HAHA. Guess not. Should I tell her it's fine if she wants to meet up with him? I was sort of cold when she brought him up. I was like, "Oh. Well, isn't that nice for him" and she told me that she was sorry for bringing him up. The conversation about him ended there and I changed the topic to more important matters.

I hope I didn't keep her from meeting up with him. They're childhood friends. Should I tell her it's okay? I feel badly now.

If they were friends before anyway I think you should tell her its fine to see him.

Don't worry about it Jilted. It's hard when the ex quickly pops back up into your life in one way or another. I actually saw my ex today and my whole day went downhill from there (and its been 3 months since we talked). I started to think about all the great times and...yeah...well there you have it.

Anyway, don't stress out about your friend. You are not keeping her from hanging out with him, I mean that question didn't even come up. If it makes you feel better just let her know your sorry for the way you reacted to her question and that you hope you didn't offend her. That's as far as I would go.

Thanks ISneeze, friend4u, and confused25.

Yea, I just told her she shouldn't feel awkward about meeting up with him just because of me. She told me she just wanted to know since she had no idea what our interaction was like. I told her the truth; there wasn't any. Lolol!

Good............I think you did the right thing

The past few days have been tough for some reason... I don't know why but I just want to talk to her... Maybe its because its spring break and I know she's in town... Or its just another rough patch in this bipolar break-up syndrome...

*sigh* I thought I was doing so good, I had a girl tell me that she loved me last week, and it didn't really do much for me. It was nice to hear, but I just don't feel the same way... Mostly because we only hung out 4 times... But goodness, I thought I was really getting over her! Psh... I hate this bs.