At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?
This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!
So I'm only on day 2 of NC. And I do realize that this is the best thing to do for myself to move on. The only thing that hurts is in the back of my mind I feel like NC or space is just another way of saying it is really over. And if i am doing NC is he or does he just not want to talk to me?? The break up is still so fresh to me my mind is all mush. I still wake up thinking this is all a dream and that he is still getting ready to propose. I feel like my heart is being pulled out everday of NC....I admire all of you and want to be in your places right now too! please tell me this gets better...
Thanks for writing and sharing so quickly; you have courage. I think folks come to a decision about whether to stay on a sinking ship or swim; you must be thinking about swimming, and at that point what goes on in the other person's head gets to be less important. No one can know what is going on in someone else's mind; and I think it is best not to listen so much about what is said, as to watch what is being done. Yes, it gets better, much better.
Is it really hard for you guys in the mornings? I wake up really really depressed with this horrible apocalyptic feeling in my stomach. It goes away throughout the day and usually doesn't come back at night, but the mornings are killer--just the realization that I've been used and he doesn't give a crap's about me.
I was dumped 5 months ago by my ex, and I still think about her every single morning. I don't want to, but for whatever reason she is the first thing that invades my thoughts when I wake up. It used to be that I'd wake up, immediately think about her, and then think about her for the rest of the day and be all sad and whatnot. It's a bit different now, because I wake up, think about her, but then remind myself that she's gone and dating someone else, but that we are friends and I can talk to her any time I want if I so choose. So, instead of thinking about her, I just stop and remind myself to focus on getting a new girl. Still sucks though. Looking forward to the day when I wake up and don't think about her anymore because I've got another hottie laying next to me.
I think the reason people are stuck on their ex's for so long is because they refuse to let go and focus on their own life. They keep living the dream in which after certain time the ex will come back and everyting will be the same. You all need to wake up from that dream. First of all even if they do come back there is no garauntee that they are the same person any more. And second of all, why would you even want them back after what you went through.
When you decide to let go and move on... that's when you realize how much better you are off without them. Why would you want to waste months on someone that is living their life to the fullest and not giving any thought on how you are? Don't you deserve better? Don't you want to be loved again? Decide now, Today, Weather you want to go through this another 5 months or say "I'm letting you go, and moving on today". Act on it, don't just dwell on the hope that will only make you sit in that hole you are in right now.
Meant to say, Robert has it exactly right, and that freakinconfused sounds like he needs someone else to make him happy, when I believe we are looking for internal healing, not external goodies. Nothing wrong with that; but I don't want to be dependent on someone else for my welfare and happiness.
I felt like i needed someone else to make me happy until i actually had some time to myself and realized i don't need anyone. I can be happy by myself by doing stuff i like and going places.
It's tough at first especially if you were in a relationship where you kept giving and giving and never getting anything in return. I was so dependend on my ex that i couldn't see myself living at all without her. It's not to say that i dont' miss her anymore. I do, but i don't need her to be happy. I have everything i want in the world... Relationships will come and go... But i won't go anywhere. Nothing is certain in the world anymore; nothing can garauntee you that you'll be with a girl for the rest of your life.
That's why we need to live our lives for ourselves and only then will be find the true happiness and meaning of life.
I felt like i needed someone else to make me happy until i actually had some time to myself and realized i don't need anyone. I can be happy by myself by doing stuff i like and going places.
That's why we need to live our lives for ourselves and only then will be find the true happiness and meaning of life.
this is ON POINT. couldn't be more true if you tried.
I thought I needed my ex to be happy...then I spent some time by myself...went out with friends...went on a few dates...now I actually look forward to just chilling on my own. Watch the game with some pizza and beer? couldn't be happier.
So I'm only on day 2 of NC. And I do realize that this is the best thing to do for myself to move on. The only thing that hurts is in the back of my mind I feel like NC or space is just another way of saying it is really over. And if i am doing NC is he or does he just not want to talk to me?? The break up is still so fresh to me my mind is all mush. I still wake up thinking this is all a dream and that he is still getting ready to propose. I feel like my heart is being pulled out everday of NC....I admire all of you and want to be in your places right now too! please tell me this gets better...
it gets worse then better..then worse....then better.
please read the guide i created below. it may add some perspective
I don't need anyone else to make me happy - that's ridiculous. Before I dated her I was single for about 2 and a half years and had no problem with it at all. I actually broke it off with the girl I was dating at the time because I was about to move off for college, and I wanted to be single. I just enjoy the company and comfort of being with a significant other.
And I don't WANT to think about my ex when I wake up. It's not like I wake up and say "ok, let's think about the ex now so that we get all sad and nostalgic." It doesn't work that way. It's like I wake up and the thought is already in my head. Instead of dwelling on it though, I just push it away. After about 10 minutes the thought is gone. I was simply saying that it would be nice if I could wake up and not think about her period.
I don't need anyone else to make me happy - that's ridiculous. Before I dated her I was single for about 2 and a half years and had no problem with it at all. I actually broke it off with the girl I was dating at the time because I was about to move off for college, and I wanted to be single. I just enjoy the company and comfort of being with a significant other.
And I don't WANT to think about my ex when I wake up. It's not like I wake up and say "ok, let's think about the ex now so that we get all sad and nostalgic." It doesn't work that way. It's like I wake up and the thought is already in my head. Instead of dwelling on it though, I just push it away. After about 10 minutes the thought is gone. I was simply saying that it would be nice if I could wake up and not think about her period.
I sometimes get frustrated with myself for thinking about my ex too, I still think of him a lot but I wish I wouldn't as well! Time will fix this, the only proplem with time is that it takes time.
Linear Mode
