I just had this idea after reading Mik's post.

How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?

This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!

What about the rest of you?

Romefalls19

yea it does, because she was so caught off guard by it..She was expecting an argument or me to flip out on her and I played it completely cool and took the high road. She now doesn't know what to think ha ha..We will see how everything goes..I'm gonna keep the NC and the barely talking when she texts me, but not be rude either.

confused25

jiltedgirl: I want to give you the best advice possible, but before I can I have to ask the following question: Did you at any point try to get back together with him after you dumped him the second time?

Romefalls19: I think you are handling everything very well and you should be proud of yourself. Right now I'm almost positive she is confused at your mature behavior and also feels very bad about the recent events that happened. This doesn't mean she will have a change of heart about having another shot at the relationship, but your actions are saying a lot of good things about your character. Keep it up!

jiltedgirl

Yes, I did. He asked me if I was positive that I wanted to get back together. I replied honestly, no. I told him to give me a day, except I never gave him an answer because I was unsure. When I had finally decided several weeks later, it was too late.

None of this matters anymore anyway. I am meeting up with him and my friend here to smooth things over between us in an hour or so. I don't harbor anymore feelings (and by that I mean romantic) for him or want to get back together. We're just better off friends.

confused25

jiltedgirl: Sounds like you know what your doing. Let us know what happens after the meeting. Good luck and I hope it goes well.

ihatewestseneca

The past few days have actually been pretty good... I don't really think i miss her anymore, rather, who i thought she was. I'm no longer saying to myself "damn, I had a good one" cus if she really was a good one she probably would have made more of an effort to commit. Anyway, NC works! And im so glad i found this site! i cant even imagine where i would be without it... probably still calling making myself more miserable. Thanks everyone!

jiltedgirl

It was a little awkward in the beginning, but he was so exhausted when he got here, he took a nap (while I was getting ready for the party). Apparently, I got very drunk and he had to carry me back to my room, so I guess it worked out; he got some sleep while I passed out and began the process of sobering up. I popped the aerobed he was supposed to sleep in by accident with my heel (i am very very clumsy) so when I woke up this morning, he was asleep next to me. We didn't do anything that night, but I thought it was odd that he kept wanting to cuddle and kiss me. He really wanted to hook up. I told him "no" because we are trying to be friends.

However, we hooked up. I felt guilty during and afterwards. I wasn't really into it and I realize it's because I'm not into him anymore. That made me a little sad.

In any case, he just left. I'm not sure what I'm feeling. I didn't think it'd go this way.

Oh well.

confused25

jiltedgirl: Well first of all, I've learned that things never go the way we want them to. Trust me, when it comes to relationships I always think of every possible scenario that can happen and to my surprise something I didn't even think of occurs....and it's not always for the better.

I'm sure you have already realized this, but you should not have met under those circumstances. I thought you guys were going to get together over some food, talk things through, and let one another know that there were no hard feelings. Instead you guys bring a party, alcohol, and sex into the mix, which is always bad news.

Personally I think that despite what you say, you BOTH still have feelings for one another. They may not be as strong as before, and ones feelings may be stronger then the other, but the feelings are definitely still there.

If you really aren't into this guy anymore then you need to stay true to your word and not involve yourself romantically with him. If he wants to cuddle, kiss, or have sex then you need to tell him "No" otherwise your sending mixed signals. If you want to be friends then you need to keep it at just that. If you can't then go back to No Contact. Erase him from your life and move on.

Personally I think you two need to sit down (maybe over a cup of coffee) and have a long talk about where you both want this relationship/friendship to go. If you both agree that you would like to stay friends then you should both agree to some boundaries and stick to them. If one or the other feels that a friendship will not work then leave it alone and be happy that you two tried.

I guess what it comes down to is knowing what you want. Whether its a relationship, friendship, or nothing to do with him. Once you know that, you'll be able to make the right decisions.

jiltedgirl

Thanks confused25. I definitely agree with everything you just said. It sounds completely reasonable and I wish my [our] actions had been different.

I should have just been resolute and stuck with a resounding "No". I did for a while. I kept resisting, and he continued to ask, "Why not??" I told him "You know why. Because we're trying to be friends. And I don't know about you, but I don't kiss and have sex with m friends."

But I understand that if I want to be friends with him, we have to establish boundaries. This is the last time we will have sex. I am POSITIVE that he doesn't harbor any feelings for me. He probably just wanted some A$$ (excuse my french).

confused25

jiltedgirl: From what you're telling us it does sound like all he wanted was sex, which more then likely means he no longer has any romantic feelings.

Aside from that, the most important thing is how you feel about him. If you honestly are over him then I think you can have a friendship with him. However, if you're not then I suggest you give it some more time before you try talking to him.

Good luck and keep us up-to-date!

jiltedgirl

Yes, I'm positive that all he wanted was sex. I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now. I'll give it time.

Well I just found out why he was so affectionate and wanted to hook up this morning. According to a friend, I apparently made out with him while drunk. I have no recollection of this whatsoever.

Talk about blocking out unwanted memories...