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How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?
This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!
Lately I've been getting the urge to text her just to see how she's doing... I can't help thinking she wants me to, cus we're both stubborn; so i also can't help thinking that she wants to text or call me, but she won't cus she'll think i "won". But thinking more about it, if shes that immature... *sigh* this sucks... i can't wait till i have to leave for class...
Sorry I keep writing here everyday. I need to otherwise I will probably annoy my friends who have heard enough about this topic and I do not want to bother them anymore with my inability to get over a silly boy.
Today is the second day of NC for me, but it feels like it's been a week. I told our mutual friends who go to my college (thank goodness my ex goes to school a few hours away!!) that I facebook unfriended him.
I'm not sure what hurts more. What they told me or what they didn't. They told me that my actions were a bit extreme, but I should do what I need to do for myself. They also told me that I should friend him back (which I will certainly not do til I complete my set NC goal or maybe I never will. It depends if I'll care enough to do so).
It hurts that my friends said that he probably doesn't care and would laugh about my unfriending him or "He's probably thinking 'whatever'." Did I really mean nothing to him? I know I shouldn't think about it or even wonder because there's no point, but this thought has haunted me since last night when the situation was discussed.
It hurts that he still hasn't even bothered to apologize (not that I expected anything more) or reply to my message. I have deleted him, but no longer have him blocked on AIM. This one method of communication remains open, but he won't ever use it because he doesn't care about me anymore. (I really need to drive this point home...lol)
This morning I was inundated with thoughts of him. I wish he hadn't always visited me at school. Things that I thought long forgotten came up. And there he is. Online. Not caring to see how I'm doing. It hurts to know how easily he moved on or maybe I'm just jealous of how easy-going and carefree he is about everything, including me. He told me he had 9 girlfriends before me. I only had one before him. I guess I was just another one to add to the list. A statistic. Could it be that what I'd thought was his incapability of expressing himself emotionally was actually a reflection of his lack of love for me?
Ouch. At least with NC, I'll stop bothering and saying mean things to him. That's not the person who I want him to remember. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me ever again. This is as much for him as it is for me. I can't believe I'm looking out for his welfare. He never did that for me. At least not in the way that it matters.
Sorry for the long vent. I need to get this out or I'll be mulling over it all day. Thx.
Jiltedgirl I definatly understand how ya feel. It has been about 2 months and 13 days since I started NC. (3 months+13 since we broke up after almos5 yrs) It sucks after a relationship when the other person seems to move on so easily while your stuck miserable or unhappy.
I did more or less some of the same things as you. Myspace/facebook, deleting off buddy list etc. But all the while leaving her some avenue to contact me if she wanted. Keeping that hope that she might do that.
A question I ask myself when i randomly decide to sit and check my email (when i know noooo one emails me) Do I really WANT her to contact me? I love her and always will. I will never forget her and what we had. But, would I really want to be put through that emotional torment of having to hear her apologize after the fact? Or want back in my life?
*sigh* When I find myself getting the urge to check her myspace, or my email or whatever. I usually do my best to divert my attention to something else. Focus on something else.
Going on 4 months without her, and although she may be care free and 'happy' with her new guy. I am fine because I have my goals set and my motivation to see them through.
I am riding the rollercoaster of life weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Jiltedgirl I definatly understand how ya feel. It has been about 2 months and 13 days since I started NC. (3 months+13 since we broke up after almos5 yrs) It sucks after a relationship when the other person seems to move on so easily while your stuck miserable or unhappy.
I did more or less some of the same things as you. Myspace/facebook, deleting off buddy list etc. But all the while leaving her some avenue to contact me if she wanted. Keeping that hope that she might do that.
A question I ask myself when i randomly decide to sit and check my email (when i know noooo one emails me) Do I really WANT her to contact me? I love her and always will. I will never forget her and what we had. But, would I really want to be put through that emotional torment of having to hear her apologize after the fact? Or want back in my life?
*sigh* When I find myself getting the urge to check her myspace, or my email or whatever. I usually do my best to divert my attention to something else. Focus on something else.
Going on 4 months without her, and although she may be care free and 'happy' with her new guy. I am fine because I have my goals set and my motivation to see them through.
I am riding the rollercoaster of life weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Whilst NC is often advocated, and is very effective, every situation is different as to what you would do if the dumper broke NC. Forgive me for being blunt, but you went out with her for 5 years, and she immediately found someone else after you split!? Would you ever want her back after that behaviour.
Lol ya the smart half of me says same thing. She IMMEDIATLY had someone new and moved in with him etc. But then the not so wise part of me is wishes I could have the person I was with a year ago, and if she was that way again it would be damn hard to say no.
But im making sure that I remove temptation so I dont break NC. And so she wont put me in the situation where I would have to choose between the love I have for her, and the hurt she caused me. Tough choice. And better left unmade imo.
Temptation, very very tricky that. lol I try and remove it when it's not needed.
Lol ya the smart half of me says same thing. She IMMEDIATLY had someone new and moved in with him etc. But then the not so wise part of me is wishes I could have the person I was with a year ago, and if she was that way again it would be damn hard to say no.
But im making sure that I remove temptation so I dont break NC. And so she wont put me in the situation where I would have to choose between the love I have for her, and the hurt she caused me. Tough choice. And better left unmade imo.
Temptation, very very tricky that. lol I try and remove it when it's not needed.
Well, whatever happened it doesn't make her look good. Either she jumped into a rebound relationship before the dust settled with you, very needy, and also totally dimishes what you had with her OR her "immediately" jumping into a relationship was a little more than that, and she had that new thing in mind (or it at even already started) when she ended things with you.
Either way, hardly the sort of person to be waiting around for!!
Funny thing is I broke it off with her, but wanted to work on things until I found out about the other guy. And ya i agree, it totally diminishes what we had either way. She is an entirely diff person. But trust my im done beggin her, or waiting for her, im done sacrificing my dignity for someone like her.
I miss who she was, and love the person I remember. Other than that... pfffffft.
Linear Mode
