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How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?
This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!
Just so yall know. I didnt mean anything bad about not caring what anybody says on here. I know you want to help. I appreciate it more than you know. I just meant, a lot of it is geared toward moving on. Understandibly so.
It's been over 3 weeks of NC for me, well NC started by me anyways. Everyone on here knows the e-mail she sent me. And maybe I hit a chord with her because she hasn't responded? I'm still holding on to hope of a new us, but won't give in to her at all. I'm not going to text, and today will be really really hard because it would have been 2 1/2 yrs today...I want so bad to text her and just say "hey, whats up" but I know that's wrong
Im not here to give you advice. I just wanted to say that I know what you are going through. I know me and you kinda kept up with each other a little on here and....if you read my post im on day....4. again. haha. i just dont know, and i dont think you do either of when or what to say IF you are still wanting to give them another shot. not just another shot but a ligit shot. assuming she really wants it. when you do you respond what to say all that stuff. b/c you cant just ignore everything ya know? not if you are willing to give it another chance. is the risk worth the reward? for me and i think you....yes
I can't believe i just read 40+ pages of this thread... Man that's a lot... But i guess you do that when you have nothing else to do at work... right?
I too am going thru similar situation like some of you guys... My girl of 9 months left me, actually left the states and went to another country to be with someone else... It sucks, I've been hurting like crazy, but i knew about the NC so i started that as soon as she left... it's been 20 something days... she sent me 2 emails because she wanted me to do her a favor... i never responded.
The thing is, she thinks i don't know why she left... she lied to me that the reason she's leaving is to visit her dying grandpa and she'll be back... yet she took all her stuff, moved to her parents house, left me alone in our apartment and is now in Germany doing god knows what with her "Special Friend".
I realized that if i wrote her back, it won't solve anything... she's still thousand miles away and i'm here by myself. I had my friend change the passwords on both myspace and facebook so i don't check it... I deleted my email, so now the only way she can contact me is my cell, which i can't do anything about since it's work number, and my work email.
IF she really wants to get in touch with me she knows how to, but i'm protecting myself and Really, really hard trying to get out of this denial stage and move on. It's so damn hard but i don't have to tell any of you guys this. Just like freakinconfused, my heart is telling me i want her back... but my head is telling me that i'm an idiot... she left me for another why in the blue hell would i want her back...
I guess we can only wait and see what the future has in store for us... I sure as hell don't know... my only worry right now is that my time is running out. I have no idea why i think that it's too late for me to find a girl again. I'm 25 and i'm afraid that i'll never find anyone again... Maybe it's because i'm not into this whole club/bar scene... and everyone my age or younger seems to be in it...
Good luck to all you guys... I know time heals all wounds, but man i wish i can fast forward it to about 3months down the road.
Dont sweat it you are going through exactly what is expected. Feels like somebody pulled the rug from under you and you are falling and cant stop. I understand it gets better and you will decide down the road what to do. Sounds like she actually made it pretty easy for u in the sense of making a decision she left you, lied to you as to why she was leaving and then has the BALLZ to email you for a favor? Sheesh. I went NC for 4 months with my ex she started emailing me the day after christmas and we have been emailing back and fourth nothing too deep but she emails me and we say a couple things the levels are up and down sometimes we email all day sometimes not at all. My point is every situation is different and my choice was to put myself first focus on me me and then me. Once you get into the groove of things again u will feel better and be able to make good decisions on how to proceed.
I can't believe i just read 40+ pages of this thread... Man that's a lot... But i guess you do that when you have nothing else to do at work... right?
I too am going thru similar situation like some of you guys... My girl of 9 months left me, actually left the states and went to another country to be with someone else... It sucks, I've been hurting like crazy, but i knew about the NC so i started that as soon as she left... it's been 20 something days... she sent me 2 emails because she wanted me to do her a favor... i never responded.
The thing is, she thinks i don't know why she left... she lied to me that the reason she's leaving is to visit her dying grandpa and she'll be back... yet she took all her stuff, moved to her parents house, left me alone in our apartment and is now in Germany doing god knows what with her "Special Friend".
I realized that if i wrote her back, it won't solve anything... she's still thousand miles away and i'm here by myself. I had my friend change the passwords on both myspace and facebook so i don't check it... I deleted my email, so now the only way she can contact me is my cell, which i can't do anything about since it's work number, and my work email.
IF she really wants to get in touch with me she knows how to, but i'm protecting myself and Really, really hard trying to get out of this denial stage and move on. It's so damn hard but i don't have to tell any of you guys this. Just like freakinconfused, my heart is telling me i want her back... but my head is telling me that i'm an idiot... she left me for another why in the blue hell would i want her back...
I guess we can only wait and see what the future has in store for us... I sure as hell don't know... my only worry right now is that my time is running out. I have no idea why i think that it's too late for me to find a girl again. I'm 25 and i'm afraid that i'll never find anyone again... Maybe it's because i'm not into this whole club/bar scene... and everyone my age or younger seems to be in it...
Good luck to all you guys... I know time heals all wounds, but man i wish i can fast forward it to about 3months down the road.
That is probably the most effective NC procedure I have ever heard off on here. Proper NC! No messing around. You are seriously on the road to recovery!!
If the bar scene isn't you, try internet dating. Match.com is very good, and it will give you a big ego boost when you see the amount of hot available women who take an interest in you!!
Seriously, 25 is nothing. If you have been this effective with NC so far, in 2 or 3 months time you will feel even better!
Just like freakinconfused, my heart is telling me i want her back... but my head is telling me that i'm an idiot... she left me for another why in the blue hell would i want her back...
I guess we can only wait and see what the future has in store for us... I sure as hell don't know... my only worry right now is that my time is running out. I have no idea why i think that it's too late for me to find a girl again. I'm 25 and i'm afraid that i'll never find anyone again... Maybe it's because i'm not into this whole club/bar scene... and everyone my age or younger seems to be in it...
Haha, it's a b!tc# ain't it? Ya know in all reality that you don't want the person back, but your heart reaches out to them because you loved them, and once that love is gone you just have a big @$$ empty hole there that you know can't be filled again anytime soon. I guess ya basically just gotta try to look at the positives and better your situation as best you can, and then one day you'll wake up and just not give a $#!t anymore that you aren't with her. And then, as you are working on yourself I guess, everything else seems to fall into place as far as significant others go. I met my ex when I decided that the college I was at wasn't going to get me anywhere, and so I applied and got into one of the best schools in the country. I was on the upswing then, and had a goal and purpose in life. And then to top it all off, I met one of the greatest people I've ever known (at least before she dumped me) and apparently did something right, because she stayed with me for 4 years.
One thing that helps me is knowing that a year and a half after graduating college she is still a freakin' bar tender. I worked at the same bar/restaurant as her after I graduated 2 years ago, but then I got my act together and got a good IT job. Right now I'm looking into going to grad school, or at least getting some IT certification classes under my belt. And, I'm trying to get another IT job that pays twice what I make now. But she's still a bar tender...ha. I have a head start on that front at least.
Dude, I'm 25 too. I think we're still pretty young and can find chicks. Yeah, bar scene isn't really my scene either - not because I don't go, but because there is a serious lack of hotties drinking at the bars near my house.
At the end of the day its your choice but we can only give you our opinions and you can take them or leave them , but remember our opnions are based on experience. And we are on your side don't forget.
Friend4u178 - I just wanted to tell you that you are an absolute genius for writing the "What to expect when you get dumped!" sticky. Every time I feel like I want to break NC, or start missing her really badly, I just read that thing over and over. My only complaint is that I didn't stumble across it right when she dumped me. If I had, I probably would have been much better off. I wish I could repay you somehow.
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