The NC Calendar

Numb · Aug 30, 2007, 03:34 AM

I just had this idea after reading Mik's post.

How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?

This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!

What about the rest of you?

Numb · Aug 31, 2007, 08:55 AM

Quote:

The whole point of NC is to get on with your life without someone, for the rest of your life. I don't see how that can happen if you're posting in a thread and dwelling over how long you havent been in contact for.

At some point you have to stop counting.

Of course, you're right. Things are still fresh for me and I really can't act as if I don't care or do not count the days. I'm counting now cause I'm having a hard time but that doesn't mean that I do not want to move on. I think it's the same for others too.

Suelle, this is great news!!! I'm so happy for you

Your post did just give me an extra boost of determination!!

MissingHim2Much · Aug 31, 2007, 10:48 AM

[quote=Numb]Of course, you're right. Things are still fresh for me and I really can't act as if I don't care or do not count the days. I'm counting now cause I'm having a hard time but that doesn't mean that I do not want to move on. I think it's the same for others too.

I agree with you Numb, things are still fresh and very painful and I think keeping track of our N/C and talking about our ex's is part of the grieving process. Like I've said before in one of my threads. THIS IS LIKE A DEATH AND I AM GRIEVING!!!

MissingHim2Much · Aug 31, 2007, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suelle383

So, its 2 days shy of the 2 month mark of our break-up and 17 days of no contact and guess who just called me? Aaghh! I didn't answer. He left a message saying "Hi, wanted to see what was up? I miss you. Call me back." Fat chance. I'm NOT calling you back. Maybe I'll call him back in 60 days when I really don't care anymore. This is going to be tough. But I figure a phone call is nothing and he probably just really wants to see what was up. If he wanted to get back together, he'd be at my house saying/crying it to me, not calling me at work at 11am on a Friday. I feel like I actually got the power back now. Yeah!

WOW Suelle, I would freak out if he called me, I don't think he ever will but if he did i don't think I would be as strong as you are. In fact I know I wouldn't be. Thats what I hope for really. I want him back and I can't lie about it

Jiser · Aug 31, 2007, 10:57 AM

Don't ever anwser. My first question if ever my ex did: Why are you calling me? I have moved on I suggest you do to. I don't do friends with ex's. I have friends allready, your not one of them. Bye

Suelle383 · Aug 31, 2007, 12:40 PM

I'm not that strong. It's killing me not calling him back but I know he won't have anything to say that I want to hear and I don't want to then talk to him, hang up, and then half to start all over at square one. And honestly, the more and more I think about it...I don't know that I necessarily miss him anymore. I think I just miss having someone in my life, not necessarily him. And why should I settle for someone who was so unsure about us that he let me go. I guess I'm having a pretty good today thankfully. Next week I might get down again but you know, the healing process is a roller coaster.

Suelle383 · Aug 31, 2007, 12:42 PM

Jiser - Exactly. Why would I want to be friends with an ex? I don't want a constant reminder of pain and rejection. Unless ofcourse the breakup was completely mutual. But if it wasn't comoletely mutual, beings friends always winds up with someone getting hurt over and over again.

MissingHim2Much · Aug 31, 2007, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suelle383

I'm not that strong. It's killing me not calling him back but I know he won't have anything to say that I want to hear and I don't want to then talk to him, hang up, and then half to start all over at square one. And honestly, the more and more I think about it...I don't know that I necessarily miss him anymore. I think I just miss having someone in my life, not necessarily him. And why should I settle for someone who was so unsure about us that he let me go. I guess I'm having a pretty good today thankfully. Next week I might get down again but you know, the healing process is a roller coaster.

I can't imagine not missing him. I don't know if you've read any of my posts on here but we had a great relationship. We literally laughed and had fun everyday. We had respect for each other. We didn't fight. We did special things for each other everyday, maybe one day he would make me dinner so I would rub his back in return or visa versa. We went fishing almost every weekend, or camping, We went grocery shopping together and genuinly loved being together and this lasted for 7 years. He even made me dinner and made love to me the day before he left. I WANT THAT BACK!!!

Suelle383 · Aug 31, 2007, 01:20 PM

Yes, I know how you feel. We had sex the morning we broke up. Then that day, we went to the zoo and had fun all day. And then that night, it was just like BAM..we had a fight and that was it. But you have to remember, if it was such a perfect relationship for both of you, then he wouldn't be gone. I think sometimes we are so blinded by love that we don't see everything that's going on. We were best friends, so I don't understand it either how someone can suddenly just say "well, that's it, i'm done". Sometimes people just need to be left alone to sort out their feelings.

And remember, you will get that back! It won't necessarily be with the same person but whether its with another person or your ex, you want that back with someone who is SURE that they want to be with you forever....not just for now. No conniving or manipulating can make that happen.

MissingHim2Much · Aug 31, 2007, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suelle383

Yes, I know how you feel. We had sex the morning we broke up. Then that day, we went to the zoo and had fun all day. And then that night, it was just like BAM..we had a fight and that was it. But you have to remember, if it was such a perfect relationship for both of you, then he wouldn't be gone. I think sometimes we are so blinded by love that we don't see everything that's going on. We were best friends, so I don't understand it either how someone can suddenly just say "well, that's it, i'm done". Sometimes people just need to be left alone to sort out their feelings.

And remember, you will get that back! It won't necessarily be with the same person but whether its with another person or your ex, you want that back with someone who is SURE that they want to be with you forever....not just for now. No conniving or manipulating can make that happen.

Very good point Suelle. I later found out he was being intensly persued by a girl he works with. Not that thats any excuse but she somehow made him question our relationship. Funny thing is he was constantly asking me if I knew how rare what we have together is, and I always said yes I do its very rare.

Suelle383 · Aug 31, 2007, 01:43 PM

Yes, people always think the grass is greener. You just got to let him see for himself. Especially, when you're together for so long and I think you were together for most of his 20s, right? (Same thing for me.) He suddenly says, wait, is this it? How can I be sure this is the best girl for me? I'm pretty sure based on my discussions with me ex, that that's what his problem was. We started dating when he was 21 and I was 26, so I had a substantial amount of more dating experience than he had. So, the day of the fight he basically said to me "if we stay together any longer, we're going to have to get married and I'm not ready to dedicate myself to one person yet....you're the best gf ever, I just wished we had met 5 years later than we did"....so there's really no response to that I can give him....other than to just disappear from his life...and pray 20 years from now, he looks back and says, "wow, i shouldn't have let that one go"....

And missinghim2much, who knows, maybe you and I will find the grass is greener. : )