You know.... I just realized how unattractive I am .... I think I am okay with that. There is nothing I can do about it. There are beautiful women all around me. I can at least be thankful that because I am so ugly, I will never get AIDS or HIV, herpes, or have an unwanted pregancy.

How do you feel about yourself....

magprob

Confidence. That's all you need. Confidence will get you farther than anything else. Without it, you dare not make a move but, the more moves you make, the more play you get Brudda.

simoneaugie

BeAMole,

Don't you hate it when you say that you feel inadequate about something personal and are told that it isn't true or that it just couldn't be? Your opinions and feelings are real. But opinions change and feelings pass. They don't teach that in school, but they should.

I don't think that anyone wishes to invalidate you on this site.

0rphan

Hi.. i'm sure you are not ugly, i suspect if you ask most of us we would all criticize some thing about the hand we have been delt , if we're being completely honest.

You obviously put a lot of importance on the visual you, implying that you'll never be in a relationship because of it, your 100% wrong.

It depends how you define beauty, it could be any number of things e.g figure, face,beautiful eyes, intelligent mind, simply just the way you smile or even the sound of your voice. IT could just be how you are with other people, the list is endless.

How many times have we all looked around us and spotted a couple and thought silently.....why is he with her or what's she doing with him, i know i have .

Several years ago i had a boss who everyone thought was drop dead gorgeous always talking about wife and family, we all used to say bet she's a leggy blonde, all the bumps in the right places and so on, well one morning they arrived together, we were all absolutely speechless, she was very short, no bumps and had a head scarf over her head, we all thought it was the new cleaner anyway he introduced her to us, her name was..... GABRIEL...instantly you would think angelic but she was the total opposite visually, i could see why they were together though she had a fascinating mind and could speak several languages which was to my boss her beauty.

There would be no point in having a show piece who couldn't communicate on any level with their partner, it was the intellectual factor which obviously attracted him as he was a barrister, this was obviously why their marriage worked for them, the point i'm trying to make is, in this example her looks were not an issue, she was such a lovely person to be with and talk to, this was what made her shine out from the rest.

There is someone out there for you i'm sure you haven't met them yet but you will....

As for how do i feel about me, well i,m not really bothered i,m just an ordinary bog standard person, yes i suppose there are things that maybe i'd have been happier with...but i can walk, talk,see and hear the birds singing at this time of year and yes i do have several health problems.... but who doesn't.

I am so thankful that i do have all the senses of the human anatomy for which i am eternally grateful, if i look a bit rough on the outside ...well so be it


Takecare

volta-rewind

Beauty is nothing but oppinion.
We all have arms, legs, a face. . . what could be so different about yourself?
What makes you say such a thing about yourself?
Have some self-confindence, do something nice for yourself.

In response to your question,
Lately I have been finding myself to have more self-confindence then ever before.
I don't really know the reason why. . .

But it might be because there's this one guy that I have been seeing lately.
I think it helps ones confidence for the better when being payed attention to.

progunr

You are being too hard on yourself.

I do not think that I am very attractive, but so what?

I know that the way I behave, the way I treat others, and what the people I love remember about me when I'm gone, that are the important things.

I doubt that anyone will say, "gee, he really was a great man, but, he sure wasn't very attractive"!

Even if I'm wrong about that, I still don't care now, and surely won't care then.

firmbeliever

There have been some wonderful answers here-like;-
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Being beautiful or ugly isnt a criteria for Sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted preganancies.
Beauty is sometimes defined by other people on the media and we rely on it too much.
Self esteem goes a long way in making one feel good.


Attractiveness is a relative term as far as I believe.
I might see a person and think him/her attractive but the moment they open their mouth , the words that come out might make all the attractiveness disappear.

Or someone who actually does not catch my attention visually can get my attention by what they say, or what they believe in ,
or who they are working up to be like, or how they treat their friends/family.

Attractiveness in the physical sense does not last, some physically perfect (as seen on the media) age and they lose their physical attractiveness,
while others who at a young age might not be much to look at,they may age gracefully.

Personally for me, to be perfectly honest,the physical attractiveness being an issue did not happen with me.I had so much to do in school,home,work,reading,having just plain fun etc that there wasnt enough time to think about the physcial aspect of myself.
There were times I would feel down and sad but I dont remember any of those times being about my physcial attractiveness or the lack of it.

I see all these beautiful women around me who flaunt all they have.
I know I could make heads turn if I were to turn up in the latest trends with a bit of make-up and high heels,cover my flaws and accentuate the assets.
Many women could change how they look in this day and age with all the right clothes and make-up and accessories.
I dont do it,because I dont like that women/men are catagorised according to only their physical appearance,which is rather shallow and I do not want my children to judge people by their looks alone.

want_to_know

I dont think she little meant she wont catch a STD I think she was tring to imply that noone would talk to her in that way for her to even be put at risk. (maybe)

But I do agree with svatnsdal beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who determines what is ugly and beautiful anyways. But one thing for sure is people see what you see. If you keep saying that and telling people that they will believe it. Beauty comes in all shapes and forms and there is no exception when God made you. Keep your head up because you are beautiful. Keep telling yourself that because you have to believe it first or nobody else will. Smile your beautiful

morgaine300

simoneaugie, and firmbeliever, both well said!!

As to how I feel about myself, depends on my mood, but better the older I get. Interestingly, I probably am worse looking the older I get. The difference is that I don't care anymore. It's not a matter of "letting myself go." It's other stuff.

For instance, if you look around at real people (not on TV and in magazines), most people are just rather ordinary looking. Which makes me feel better that I'm not some gorgeous beauty who stands out in a crowd. Because most people don't. (And do I want the attention anyway?) Also just knowing that we are likely to find our own tiny little flaws that no one else notices. We stand in front of a mirror and pick ourselves apart. And most other people just see "us" and not what we look like. (i.e. they recognize the overall picture of what we look like, rather than looking at details or worrying about it.)

Another reason I'm less concerned about my looks is because I'm more concerned about my bad knees than that my chin pokes out a bit too much or my eyelids are too thick. (Things other people probably don't even notice.) I just have better things to worry about.

And lastly, exactly what firmbeliever said -- a lot of women could "appear" gorgeous with the right makeup artist and hair styler. All those women in movies and on TV have someone else do that stuff for them. And take a look at the facial features underneath all that gunk, and some of the supposed beautiful women are actually not so great looking underneath. I'm sure with the right professional messing with my makeup and hair, I could look like that too.

I no longer mess with makeup. I was terrible at it and I hate the stuff and it's a waste of time. In a way, I'm a bit of a tomboy. But I can look plenty feminine when I want to, without makeup. (Notice I said "feminine" and not "beautiful.") I think the fact that women think you must wear makeup is an insult to women. Men think they're fine without it (or don't care), but women don't seem to think they look good enough all by themselves without the crap all over them. And when it comes down to it, most men don't really care. Women fix themselves up for other women. I don't, cause I don't care what they think.

Oddly, this is all coming from a childhood of looking down upon myself, thinking I was ugly, worthless, stupid, etc. Back when I fixed up the hair, did the makeup, was at a much better weight and therefore built better, I thought less of myself than I do now. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I discovered something different: self esteem, and it's worth much more to me.

BeAMole, I do have to wonder: why did you find it necessary to post this?

inthebox

What exactly do you feel unattractive about?

After the initial physical component of attractiveness, other things matter more.
- a sense of humor, confidence, smiling, intelligence, kindness, honesty, the ability to have fun... these things that make up your charater matter so much more than just your physical appearance.




I'm getting more gray hair, but at this point at least its there.

ConfusedInAK

Oh for craps sake...

Ya know I feel unattractive probably 250 days out of the year if and when I dwell on it. We could all use perkier boobs/pecks, flatter not fatter stomaches, less freckles, straighter thicker hair but it's all crap in my opinion... because when I really start to think about it, no matter how unattractive/sexy I feel...

I am blessed! There are actually people in this world that like me, like my personality and my company AND that my friend is not something I had when I WAS a hot young thing!

I would rather be unattractive physically than have an unattractive personality hands down...

And whatever it is is that is making you feel this way... I hope you can soon realize their are other things that make a person attractive....

UNLESS of course you were talking about your personality... LOL

And if that is the case you will need to make it over ;-)