I have only been a member of this forum for abut a month and lets just say with in that short amount of time i have been floored by the amount of rude comments filled with insensitive answers, grammar policing,and off topic remarking(sniping). I have seen these over and over again while reading through new and old postings. While there are some very nice people on this site who have been helpful there are others who have been rude and thoughtless. I am going to try my best to express mine(and im sure others) feelings about how some people relate to each other on this site and try to label and make this as easy as possible to understand :
Insensitive Answers :
Ive havent seen this a whole lot but it has happened. Someone will ask a question and you will see some of the responses that have an air of "oh well who cares why" especially when it comes to questions pertaining to children. Ive seen people come up with all sorts of ways of punishing a child if they afre misbehaving but very few postings that say find out
WHY your kid is misbehaving. Children just dont wake up and decide to misbehave there is often a reason may it be attention,something medical or they just are frustrated and do not know how to express this to the parent so they act out. Im not saying children dont need discipline im just saying that maybe b4 answering people should think that maybe there is a REASON behind the behavior.
Grammar Policing :
Since appearing on the board I have seen my postings along with others critisized for "poor grammar" something as simple as forgetting a period or misspelling of a word or leaving out a letter in a word. These are common mistakes often not made on purpose.People usually make these mistakes not meaning to and as a result are the target of many on this site. I understand the terms say use the best grammar you can but I read these terms and what i got from it was try to make your postings as clear and understandable as possible. I admit i have made these grammar mistakes out of carelessness and/or accidentally,but the remarks recieved about these mistakes are out of line and often have nothing to do with the question asked. I assume that my questions can be understood because I recieve so many responses that are purely about my question and not a critisim of my grammar skills. I one wrote a question about a rude email i recieved. Some could not answer my question for critising my grammar. I am not the only victim i saw a posting of a young lady who wanted help with how to handle her english teacher. People could not answer her question for critising her grammar. In my opinon unless the person ask you "hey hows my grammar btw" there is no need to inform them of how bad you think thier grammar is because it is unneeded, unnecessary and just rude. When i see answers to my postings that critising my grammar even if they have good advice following it i dont even read it bc i assume that the person is attacking me. People really need to lighten up on this it is really not that serious. This is an
online public forum save your red pens for english class please. Unless the answer is about the question being asked i dont understand why ppl even bother to respond.
Off Topic Remarks :
Ive seen this quite a bit as well. Someone will ask a question and people will respond by talking about something else for instance someone will ask about asking thier parents for money for something and people will respond "Well why dont you get a job and stop mooching off your parents" not knowing the whole story. Maybe they did not put why they do or dont have a job because they feel its not your business or maybe its not important. This off topic remarking often comes from assuming the worst about the person who is asking the questions. You know the old saying what happens when you assume right???? Ive had this happen to me as well ill be talking about my family member and out of no where ill see a response that says "well what about this" if they wanted you to know or felt it was important they would put it in my question. Another example i saw another question where again a young lady was asking about school and one of her signitures alluded that she was bisexual and a wiccan. People could not answer her question for bothering her about her wiccanism and sexuality what all that had to do with her question ill never know. An even better example was once a lady decided to make her screen name her first and last name. She did not have where she lived or anything but no one would answer her question bc they were too busy telling her it was unsafe to put your first and last name as your screenname. I personally wouldnt do it (thats why im TwinkletOes26 and not my real name) but that is MY choice. Some people feel comfortable doing it and if they dont have thier location down why does it matter? If they have susansmith as a screen name who care you know how many susan smiths there are in the world a killer would have to go through a WHOLE lot of work to find the one thats one this forum.
Im not saying these things to attack anyone or to be rude just a few things i saw on this forum that needed addressing. I have been on many forums in the past and these things happen but not as much as i have seen here(especially the grammar policing) maybe it is because this particular forum is larger than most maybe. Anyway in summary i just typed this to say please when someone is asking something they more than likely need help please be sensitive to that. Remember just because you cannot see a face does not mean the person behind the screen doesnt have feelings. Please be sensitive to this.
Thank You
TwinkletOEs26
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