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Would this be considered rape? Or was it my fault? And what should I tell my parents?
I'll be 17 in a little more than a month, my bf is 19, and his friend is 22. Okay so Saturday night me and my bf got into an argument that got somewhat physical. I didn't hit him, but he hit and then shoved me against a wall. He was going to hit me again, but his friend was there and pulled him back. His friend threatened to call the cops if my bf didn't calm down.
After that I said I wanted to go home. And his friend drove me home. He came inside with me to see if I was okay. (My parents weren't home, but at that point I didn't really care) And we talked for a while and then almost out of no where he kissed me and I pushed him away and told him I couldn't do that. Then he said something like this "Don't worry about that jerk, he doesnt care about you anyways" Well that made me kind of mad but then I figured maybe it was true and then he kissed me again, and I kissed him back this time, mostly out of anger.
Well one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. Well somewhere in the middle of this I started feeling really uncomfortable and he was starting to hurt me. I asked him to stop a few times, but there was no response from him and he continued. Eventually he told me to shut up and let him finish. So I tried to push him off, and then he pressed himself against me and covered my mouth until he finished.
After that I went to the bathroom and I was bleeding. So I showered and changed....which I probably shouldn't have done, but I felt disgusting. When I went back into my bedroom he was still there. And he hugged me and told me he was really sorry and didn't know what had gotten into him. Well I asked him to leave. And he did.
Now yesterday I told someone I thought was my friend what had happened. She completely blew me off. And told me how I should have called her, and she would have picked me up. And none of this would have happened. And she basically made it all out to be all my fault. Which yes some of it might have been, but not everything. And all day yesterday I'd been thinking about it and I havn't told anyone else because of what my (ex) friend told me. So what's your opinion on this? Since I consented to this in the beginning, would this be considered as rape?
And I'm not asking this question to press charges or anything. I just wanted to know. And depending on what you guys think, is how I'm going to decide whether or not to tell my mom (I want her to take me to see a doctor). And I already know my parents might be really mad at me for this, esecially my dad if he finds out! =(
While it is technically rape, I doubt if you will find a prosecutor to prosecute. A woman has the right to say No and stop it at anytime during the act and the guy needs to stop. But you have no evidence that you did try to stop and he refused.
The only thing here is where you live. If you are under the age of consent and he knew your age, then he might be charged with statutory rape.
It's a gray area for me. Yes, you have the right to say no, even if he's in the middle of the act, but you'd never be able to convince a jury that he raped you. First, he didn't beat you, so no bruises, no marks, right? You say that you were bleeding, that can happen during sex, but it's a moot point anyway because you showered right after.
Did he use a condom? Definitely go to the doctor, you could be pregnant or have an std because of this encounter.
You could however get him on statutory rape if you're underage, so do tell your parents right away. They're your parents, they may be upset and angry at first, but in the end I'm sure they'll support you.
i don't know what State OP is in - in NY this would most probably be looked upon as sexual regret. A willing participant, thinks about it later, decides it's rape.
I don't see the Police getting involved and if they do I doubt a DA will prosecute.
While it is technically rape, I doubt if you will find a prosecutor to prosecute. A woman has the right to say No and stop it at anytime during the act and the guy needs to stop. But you have no evidence that you did try to stop and he refused.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
The only thing here is where you live. If you are under the age of consent and he knew your age, then he might be charged with statutory rape.
It's a gray area for me. Yes, you have the right to say no, even if he's in the middle of the act, but you'd never be able to convince a jury that he raped you. First, he didn't beat you, so no bruises, no marks, right? You say that you were bleeding, that can happen during sex, but it's a moot point anyway because you showered right after.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Did he use a condom? Definitely go to the doctor, you could be pregnant or have an std because of this encounter.
You could however get him on statutory rape if you're underage, so do tell your parents right away. They're your parents, they may be upset and angry at first, but in the end I'm sure they'll support you.
And I guess also I see no question about pressing charges against the boyfriend that hit you.
You should have called the police at the first house before you left and reported the physcial abuse.
** please dont tell us you went back to him ??
Tech yes rape since he did not stop when you said, but since you gave permission to start, I doubt you would get any DA to even take it to court
I wasn't going to press charges against anyone.
And yes I did go back to him, but he apologized and said it wouldn't happen again, if it does, then I'll just break up with him. But until that happens he's still going to be my bf.
i don't know what State OP is in - in NY this would most probably be looked upon as sexual regret. A willing participant, thinks about it later, decides it's rape.
I don't see the Police getting involved and if they do I doubt a DA will prosecute.
I'm in NC.....and regardless I said I DID NOT want to press charges.
And if you're trying to say I'm lying then I'm not. I have no reason to lie about something like this.
And yes I did go back to him, but he apologized and said it wouldn't happen again, if it does, then I'll just break up with him. But until that happens he's still going to be my bf.
This belongs on a relationship board because it's out of the legal realm - 17 years old, boyfriend slaps her around, his friend rapes her, she wonders if all of this is her fault, boyfriend has apologized and said it won't happen again. If it DOES happen again, THEN she'll break up with him. But until then - he's the boyfriend!
Wait until the boyfriend finds out she had sex with his friend - consentual or not!
Again - for a relationship or mental health board, not a legal board. The legal advice has been given.
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