[oleanderxu]

I met him on line and he is attractive and considerate. We have shared a lot of wonderful periods. We live in different cities (actually these two cities are quite far from each other) and he told me that he is going to visit me this weekend. However, yesterday, I happened to find out that he also talked with other girls on line. Is he a cheater? Is he trying to ask every single girl to go out? Is he trying to search someone perfect before he meets his mrs right? What should I do? Should I go to see him this weekend? If so, what should I say to him?

[ScottGem]

I wouldn't call him a cheater unless he told you he was only corresponding with you. But I would be VERY careful about meeting him. Only do so in a public place. I would also recommend that you do a background check on him. At least Google his name.

[Stringer]

Excellent answer Scott... Error on the safe side...

Follow Scott's advice and if you do meet him, I wouldn't let it lead to a private meeting for SOME TIME... be safe, always keep this in mind.
Stringer

[mafiaangel180]

How old are you?

[kp2171]

No, he isn't a cheater. He is talking to women online, and near as I can tell, you do not have an exclusive, monogamous, committed relationship, despite the good moments you have shared. If he has promised you differently, or otherwise declared his exclusive dedication to you, and you alone, that didn't come through your original post.

And lets face it... even if he's engaged in a social network with other women, that doesn't mean he is or isn't interested in them. I'm married, happily... id like to think my wife is too... and I talk to several women here from time to time through pm's, just chit chatting. Point is, sure he could be looking to hook up with other women, and he could not be looking... until you talk, its all speculation and assumption.

Is he scouring for the "perfect" ms right? I sure hope so. Why wouldn't he, and why wouldn't you? Granted... an interpretation of "perfect" can be, well, imperfect... or at least inconsistent from one person to the next. My wife isn't perfect, but she's perfect for me.

As for all the rest, keep in mind all that's been said about safety. There are honest people out there and there are wacks.

So... id back off the "dating" description. I think you are kind of "pre-dating"... and its probably worth a discussion with him to ask what his interests are. While most women I've dated have dated exclusively (monogamous), I dated one girl who was completely OK with the idea of dating multiple people, especially in the beginning of a relationship, and I know of a few other younger women who felt the same. So there is no guarantee of any "rules" until you talk about them.

As for the age gap, clearly the older you are, the less of an issue it is. A 20 year old dating a 45 year old is a stretch, but happens I'm sure. Just ask demi moore? I dated a girl who had dated a man 15 years older than her, when she was about 22... it was a healthy relaionship from what she said, but she was also fairly grounded and directed.

[oleanderxu]

Enough advice has been given to me. Thank you for all of you.~~ I know what I should do-- go and meet him. In a safe and comfortable café, I'll have a pre-dating with him.