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cassi1421 · Dec 14, 2007, 01:50 AM

In August I broke up with the person I had been dating for four years. While we had a very rocky relationship we did have a good one. We had issues just like everyone else except I cried a lot and he got angry a lot and was super controlling. When I entered college this past year I decided that I needed to break things off because he couldn't handle me having other friends that were guys. I know that many guys are like this and that they can't handle seeing there girlfriends with other guys but it's because they worry about cheating. I have never cheated nor had I ever given him a reason to believe that I had cheated. So I thought that he was being way to controlling. It is now December and I miss him so much. I am dating someone now who is really amazing and is a great person but I miss my ex so much and I compare my new boyfriend to my ex all the time and I don't think it is fair. I can't bring myself to stop thinking of my ex and I have tried. I don't know what to do and there is so much more but I don't know where to go or where to turn or anything. I'm in a bind that's tearing me apart emotinally, spiritually, and mentally.

ISneezeFunny · Dec 14, 2007, 02:06 AM

Yeah... as I said before, should have taken some time off to get over your ex before you start dating again. Rule of thumb is 1 month for every year... but some people take much longer. Now you're in a bind. What's done is done.

If I were your current boyfriend, I'd want you to tell me what's going on. Granted, I might get angry, but I deserve at least that. Then, don't go running back to your ex. Take some time off. Be by yourself. Figure out if you really miss your ex, or just the idea of who your ex used to be.

cassi1421 · Dec 14, 2007, 02:17 AM

I can reply already because is something that's had me in tears for the last week. My current boyfriend knows that I am having struggles right now he knows that I miss my ex. However, I am not sure to what extent he knows. I have done everything possible to forget my ex but it's like evrything just keeps coming. I thought I was over my ex that's why I started dating again and apparently I was completely wrone. I feel terrible about doing this to my current boyfriend but I just don't know anymore. I never asked for help before and now I just don't know what else to do

cassi1421 · Dec 14, 2007, 02:21 AM

I have also thought about the possibility of maybe it's not that I miss my ex but I miss the idea of him being there and being that person I woke up to everyday and being that person I fought with over stupid stuff or being that person who had me in tears. I thought about that and attempted to believe that but he is still that person who has me in tears each day because I miss him

ISneezeFunny · Dec 14, 2007, 02:36 AM

To be honest, if your current boyfriend's sticking around even though he knows you miss your ex... he's either 1) really just that nice... or 2) not too bright. But that's in MY opinion.

If he is really just that nice, talk to him. Tell him what's going on. He may be just waiting around to see if you're ever going to get over your ex, and he thinks that HE can help you get over the ex. Wrong. You said you did everything you could to get over your ex. Wrong again. Only time. Time and NOT seeing your ex and NOT talking to your ex and NOT finding things about your ex will help you get over him.

I'd hate to say this... I really do, but if I were your current boyfriend, since I'm not willing to call it off, I'd want you to tell me the truth, and tell me exactly what you're going to do. My suggestion? Take time off from the current boyfriend. Really. Just tell him how you're feeling, tell him you need some time to get over your ex. Don't make him wait either. Just make a clean break. If he's still there at the end, and you still like him, then great. If not, move on. I'd hate to do that because I HATE the phrase (need some time off... such a copout reason, but yeah).

This is just MY point of view... others may have tried this and it may have gone to hell. In that case, please correct me.

cassi1421 · Dec 14, 2007, 12:41 PM

I haven't seen my ex since we broke up nor have I talked to him. I have talked through text twice with him but I haven't actually spoken with him. Also my current boyfriend I actually think he isn't over his ex and the reason he holds on and doesn't care is because of that and because he is afraid of the whole ex break up thing. We are going to Florida over break from college and I don't want to break up with him and then have him not want to go on the trip. He is a great person and I care about him a lot but I know it's not fair for him nor I nor anyone else around us. I just am ot sure how I got myself into this situation. I really thought that I was over him. Because Our relationship was really horrible at the end we fought like no other and I ended up in tears every time I seen him. Don't get how can miss something like that but I think about all the good times and that's what happens.