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    country's Avatar
    country Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 13, 2006, 11:10 PM
    Neighbor problems and out of money!
    Please bare with me if I have posted in the wrong forum. I'm in desperate need of some help or advice!! Five years ago we bought our rural house on 5 acres. Our property runs lengthwise and there is no one around except for 1 neighbor about 400 feet behind us. From the day we moved in problems started. I won't go into long details, but briefly try to describe what is happening. My children have been removed from the public school where we live because of the neighbor's teenage daughter and her friends threatening them. We tried talking to school officials but was told we must have misunderstood their intensions. HA! Since then we have had our cars broken into, had obsenities and gestures made at us every time they leave their house, full gas tanks drained of gas,( now have locking gas caps) woke up to find some of the ducks beheaded, had them shoot at our dogs on our front porch in broad daylight, one dog posioned,(which ran up a huge vet bill) had to have our phone number changed twice, they now have found out where my son works and call and harass him at work, brake lines cut, and last night had our front door shot at and shattered the storm door. We have called the police and they come and take a report and pictures and follow up with a detective but say they can't do anything because we have not seen them do this. We are on a very limited buget and cannot afford much more of this. I am also terrified they are going to do something to my children. They have become more open and brazen with the things they do, I think, because nothing can be done to them, at least that's what we are being told. Does anyone know any differently? In the beginning, we tried going and talking to them, but that only made things worse.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #2

    Aug 14, 2006, 06:53 AM
    Hello country:

    Well, you either have to start defending your family and property, or you have to move. I noticed your remark about not having any money. I suppose that means you want us to find a solution on the cheap. I don't think so…….

    In the world, there are victims and victimizers. You are a victim. I'm not a psychologist, so I have no idea how to tell you HOW to STOP being a victim. But, if you don't change that dynamic, your problems won't be solved. I'm speaking about intimidation. Right now, YOU are the one being intimidated. You're going to have to change up. It's time to intimidate them – or move. It's an attitudinal change. THEY have to get, that you're not going to take it anymore. If you cannot carry it off, then you MUST move.

    Most states now offer a concealed weapons permit. Buy a big gun, learn how to use it. Get your permit, and send them a copy. THAT is going to signal a change.

    Buy some cctv cameras triggered by motion sensors. Once you have them on film, the cops should act – but not because you ask them to – but because you DEMANDED that they do their job. If it were me, I would also be equally DEMANDING with my local school authorities.

    But it isn't me, it's you. I don't find it difficult to be DEMANDING. I would suggest that you learn to make it a part of your negotiation package.

    excon
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #3

    Aug 14, 2006, 07:37 AM
    Foiled by the spread rule, but I wanted to lend my support to what excon said. I was also going to recommend getting some security cameras. You might find this is not that expensive.

    One thing though that bothers me is why? Do you have any reasons they are doing this? If its just mean spiritness, or they don't want neighbors they must have done this to the previous homeowner. The police should have some record of this.

    Your son should tape any calls he gets at work. Enlist the phone company in tracing the calls if there is no caller ID.

    There is also an issue of this not being mentioned when you bought the house. It may be too late, but you might have an action against the realator and/or previous owners.

    There is no pat answer here. Other than security cameras, you seem to have taken the right steps thought you probably need to be more adamant with the authorities.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #4

    Aug 14, 2006, 07:59 AM
    Hello again, country:

    Quote Originally Posted by excon
    I'm not a psychologist, so I have no idea how to tell you HOW to STOP being a victim.
    I lied. I actually DO know how you can learn HOW to STOP being a victim. It's true, I'm not a psychologist, but I am a reader. Yes, I'd like to think I was born with all those macho genes, but I wasn't... I got 'em from a book.

    Robert Ringer wrote "Winning Through Intimidation". It's a step by step course on how to change the "victimhood" dynamic. He followed with another called "Looking Out For Number One". They work.

    excon
    country's Avatar
    country Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 14, 2006, 09:53 PM
    Thanks guys for the help, especially info on the book. I am definitely going to get it. I do believe this problem was already if full swing when we bought the property. The lady that we bought from had lived here all her life. The house had been passed down four generations. Her husband got cancer and they began selling pieces of the property a little at a time to help with medical costs. That is how the neighbor came to be. He bought some of the property and moved a house in. We had a lady stop by one day about a year after we were here and introduced herself and began asking us if we were having problems with the neighbor in back. We told her yes and she said the lady that owned it before also had problems with them. In fact, they had tried to put a fence down the middle of the property and the neighbor came out and got in a fist fight with her husband. As far as police reports being filed I don't know, but am checking into it. He wanted this house for rental.
    educatedhorse_2005's Avatar
    educatedhorse_2005 Posts: 500, Reputation: 78
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    #6

    Aug 15, 2006, 12:01 AM
    So he is jealous of you.
    I would consider trying to put up a fence again.
    No gates in it.

    Then I would get cameras.
    I would install car alarms on all my cars.
    Do not play nice with them.
    If you have a mean bone in your body it is time to find it now.
    You have to take your family into consideration.
    You wouldn't want any harm coming to them.

    There is a saying
    If you are in the right they can't stop you if you just keep coming.

    The concealed weapons permit is a good idea.
    But I would not send them a copy of it they could take that as a threat and turn you into the cops.
    Then you will have more troubles then you want.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #7

    Aug 15, 2006, 05:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by country
    I do believe this problem was already if full swing when we bought the property. ... We had a lady stop by one day about a year after we were here and introduced herself and began asking us if we were having problems with the neighbor in back. We told her yes and she said the lady that owned it before also had problems with them.
    It would be a good idea to install a fence, but DO NOT do it yourself. Hire a fencing company to do it. You do have to warn the company that the neighbors might interfere. If they do, the fencing company becomes your witnesses about the harassment.

    Its an unfortunate situation, but police cannot do anything without proof. So you have to get that proof. Again using cameras, checking for a history of complaints, etc. Definitely pursue a case against the realtor and previous owner. Do you have the name of the woman who told you about previous problems? You might, at least, get the realtor/owner to pay for the fence and cameras.
    valinors_sorrow's Avatar
    valinors_sorrow Posts: 2,927, Reputation: 653
    I regard all beings mostly by their consciousness and little else
     
    #8

    Aug 15, 2006, 06:36 AM
    You have many excellent posts here! I would only add that I have had bad neighbor problems too - partying and trashing on my property, loose dogs digging intro trash cans, one attacked my dog and another threatened me, backyard bonfire catching the woods on fire next to our house, etc. and while I don't like working like this, I bought a gun and took the course. I have became tired of making what proved to be worthless 911 calls so I also met with the top officials in fire and law enforcement showing them a file and discussing who's going to be included in the suit should something happening. I now have their personal cell phone numbers to call instead of 911. I casually mentioned all this to the neighborhood gossip and so far, so good.

    Proactive measures and thorough documentation with a plan of action you are capable of carrying out doesn't cost that much money. Good luck.
    earl55's Avatar
    earl55 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Aug 29, 2006, 02:36 PM
    I had a problem with abusive neighbors in the past, and like yourself I found that contacting the police was not very helpful. My neighbor had stolen a property marker of my yard, threatened my parents and physically assaulted me. Even after the assault, the police would not arrest him. Police seem to be lazy everywhere. The best thing to do is to sue him in small claims court. I did this and won nearly 2 thousand dollars from my neighbor and he hasn't bothered us since then. Good luck.
    rcutting's Avatar
    rcutting Posts: 6, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #10

    Aug 14, 2007, 09:59 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by country
    Please bare with me if I have posted in the wrong forum. I'm in desperate need of some help or advice!!! Five years ago we bought our rural house on 5 acres. Our property runs lengthwise and there is no one around except for 1 neighbor about 400 feet behind us. From the day we moved in problems started. I won't go into long details, but briefly try to describe what is happening. My children have been removed from the public school where we live because of the neighbor's teenage daughter and her friends threatening them. We tried talking to school officials but was told we must have misunderstood their intensions. HA! Since then we have had our cars broken into, had obsenities and gestures made at us everytime they leave their house, full gas tanks drained of gas,( now have locking gas caps) woke up to find some of the ducks beheaded, had them shoot at our dogs on our front porch in broad daylight, one dog posioned,(which ran up a huge vet bill) had to have our phone number changed twice, they now have found out where my son works and call and harass him at work, brake lines cut, and last night had our front door shot at and shattered the storm door. We have called the police and they come and take a report and pictures and follow up with a detective but say they can't do anything because we have not seen them do this. We are on a very limited buget and cannot afford much more of this. I am also terrified they are going to do something to my children. They have become more open and brazen with the things they do, I think, because nothing can be done to them, at least that's what we are being told. Does anyone know any differently? In the beginning, we tried going and talking to them, but that only made things worse.
    You are welcome to contact us and if we can offer you advice, we will gladly do so. Are you still having problems with your neighors?

    Roberta

    Citizen's Against Legal and Moral Abuse, Inc.
    C/O Roberta Cutting, President
    P.O. Box 1442
    Zephyrhills, FL 33539
    [email protected]
    352-206-5787

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