So sorry to hear about your plight. Nobody I know of today has that much money 'stashed' away for those 'rainy days' And with micromanagement and changeover of people in jobs, they all try to do what they are told in order to keep them. I you have a recorder, or can borrow one from a friend, or if you have an answering machine with tape, record those abusive conversations in the future because you will probably need them when the collection company takes this issue to court. Is there any way at all that you can get a statement from the hospital as to when the 'first' bill was sent to you? If they cannot prove this, then you might have a 'leg to stand on' so to speak. The world today is ruled by money and can be very cruel. What is your medical insurance like? If you are not satisfied with it a friend sent the following link for information which might help you choose another.
http://www.medicalinsuranceforum.com
I remember that way back in the 70's a Kennedy tried to introduce 'socialized medical plans' to the public and the people in California were so ignorant they voted against it because they associated it with socialism, which is totally different, but ignorance can be terribly damaging, and now they are paying for it.
I sincerely wish you and your husband well and hope there is someone on this forum with legal knowledge that can give you some advice on what you can do. I know it sound like a broke record, but unfortunately the world is not the same as it used to be and only money rules and we are not the only ones with problems... But when problems are close to home, it hurts more. Good Luck.