I have a 19 year daughter with 2 babies living with me who pays no rent, does no house work, has no job and spends all her time on the computer and phone talking to her new husband that is in the army, stationed in Germany and being deployed in November. She has no job, no income and is very disrespectful and has a lot emotional problems. We have asked her to move out on several occasions due to the constand raging and nastiness of you hygine and attitude. How can we go about getting an eviction notice on her and get her out of our house ASAP!
If she is married to a military man, then she most certainly has income. Why is she not living with him in Germany? The military pays plenty of money for them to live on their own. If she is not receiving any of the money from him, then he is pocketing a lot of "dough". Ace
It's very sad indeed to hear that you want to evict your OWN child.
Family needs to be the MOST important thing in life.
How about seeking counseling so she may learn what is expected in the home to be a contributing person. You will benefit from her learning this... as you won't lose her, (which I hope you care not to... ).
You both need to develop a better relationship base. To toss your child out when she has two children is cold hearted NO MATTER how lazy you think she's being.
Talk to her nicely. Don't yell. Tell her how hard it is for you when she doesn't help out. Talk about how you feel. Use the word "I", when starting a conversation or sentence, not "you".
"I feel like I'm the only one doing chores around here"... NOT "You never do anything around here". Speak ONLY of how you are feeling. So much more is heard when it doesn't come out of our mouths so accusitory. It just serves to make them feel defensive. Wouldn't you prefer to fix the problem if you could instead of evicting her?
While I agree that counseling may be in order here if you want to keep peace in the family, that's not what you asked.
I would draw up a contract that states what she is responsible for (rent, normal cleaniness, etc.). Present the contract to her and tell her, that if she does not sign and adhere to the contract, you will be forced to evict her. If she does not sign, go to your local housing court to find out the process. If she does sign, at the first sign of her ignoring the contract, start eviction.
Scottsgem, whether it's ASKED or not...it's called FAMILY, is there anything more important?
A contract is cold and uncaring. I'm not sure any girl wants to be spoken to like that...
Heard the expression, "You get more with honey than with vinegar"???????
Have you ever heard of "Tough Love"? I'm not saying your advise was wrong, I actually agreed with it. But the OP asked how to get them out. We have no idea what efforts have been made to attempt to make her more responsible. To me it sounded like the OP was at the end of her rope.
I also disagree that a contract is cold and uncaring. When it came time for me to get my driver's license, it meant using the family car since I didn't have money for my own. So my parents drew up a "contract" under which they agreed to allow me to use the car as long as I paid for the insurance, gas and adhered to other rules. I did not find this cold and uncaring. I understand that my parents were caring enough to make sure I understand there were responsibilities involved with using the family car.
A married, adult child with income, should not be freeloading on her parents.
I agree w/ out scottsgem, that a married adult child SHOULD NOT be free loading. I really do.
I feel that as children grow up over time it's during those years that we help them learn the process of responsibility and ownership.
This girl is 19 and w/ children... it's very telling as to how this child might have been raised. I mean, this girl didn't just have ONE CHILD she has several. That too is very telling.
I feel like maybe she's got some unerlining issues that we haven't been make privey to. This parent also wants to take the child that she did this wonderful job of raising and throw her out. Quite frankly I don't see that as a good solution right now. It took something to get her where she is right now... as a child w/ children. Not to mention that her mom says she's non-hygenic and lazy.
To me there are HUGE red flags popping out all over the place. Making another teen w/ kids homeless is not the answer here in my opinion.
I think some counseling to bring this family together IS...
Once they're all healed... then it would be a good idea to send her out into the world.
Family is very important but when you have a adult child, that knows better, they shouldn' be disrespect to you. I don't care if my mom is in the wrong I would never be disrespectful towards her especially while I am living under her roof.
If your daughter is on the internet all the time, and it's your computer, then move it so she won't have access to it. Same with your phone. Put something in writing and give it to her. How does she interact with her kids? How you talked to her about her hygiene?
It is your house and your rules and if your daughter is willing then it is time to have a much needed sit down but never should you be disrespected. As Scott pointed out it is time for tough love.
Sweet Dee, I take it you don't have children, at least not grown. You can do a wonderful job raising a child, but they can rebel the whole way. I believe what you said is true, family is very important, but what of the rest of the family. If one person disrupts live for all, is it fair or right to allow it? Some times it take drastic measures to get someone's attention.
Also, I see red flags in your own post. It would seem that you have been hurt and are having trouble coping with your own feelings. A marriage license is a contract. Is that cold and unfeeling? If you asked me, a written contract is a LOT better that arguing, or even just disagreeing.
The OP asked for information on how to evict an adult child. I don't see anyone addressing that. I found this post because of the same thing and I had to read though all this drivel to find that no one answered. You see, I have a son (18) that has been a great son for the most part, but he will not stop doing a certain something illegal. I also have younger children, so if you think I'm going to just set back and let the older child disrupt the family and put everyone in danger, then you've lost touch with reality.
Now, I hope that when I present this to him to quit or get out, that I am knowledgeable of my rights and the procedures to follow though with. And I really hope that, when he sees that I am 100% on the up and up, he will quit, but if he doesn't quit, I have an obligation to the rest of my family. So you see, I really need the information that is asked for.
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