I have a father that I do not get along with at all. Everything he does bothers me or makes me upset. Just hearing him come up the stairs makes me scared and i often cry when hes home. But I don't dislike him 4 no reason. My dad is mean 2 me. He constantly tells me wuts wrong w/ me (as far as my personality goes.) He tells me that I'm selfish, I'm lazy, I don't care about anyone but myself, I'm stupid, I don't deserve wut i have, I am useless at certain things and that I'm I'm disrespectful. He calls me dumbass, lazyass, smartass, jackass, clumsyass. He told me 1 time that it would be good 2 lose some weight, when I was 10.
He yells at least once a day. He tries 2 hug and kiss me, but I move away and he gets mad. I told him that I don't like it but he does it anyways and gets mad when i pull away. He gets mad at me alot but just talks 2 my mom about it, not me. I always hear him calling me names and saying bad comments about me when I'm not around.
Its not good cuz I have emotional problems and i am still dealing with self injury. He doesn't kno me at all but he thinks that he does. I am a totally different person at school than at home. Hes the reason 95% that i self injure.
I think the worst thing he has ever said to me was when my grandafather had died and 5 days later my grandmother went into the hospital and never came out. She was still alive at the time. i was up in my room trying 2 get my mind off it and doing homework and I saw him and he started getting mad at me and said :"U don't even care if your grandmother is dead. it wouldn't matter 2 u because you are so selfish. How can u live with that?" And that was the first time that I cut myself. Idk if its emotional abuse or not, but he certainly affects me alot. Pllleeeeeaaaasseeee give me an answer!!!! If I kno that hes abusive I might try 2 get help. But I'm not sure.

J_9

Sweetie, you need to talk to someone about this. Do you have a favorite teacher at school? A school counselor?

Yes, this is emotional abuse. It is causing you to self harm, which is one of the warning signs of a suicidal tendency.

No matter what he says, you are none of those things. I will not repeat what he has called you because I don't believe it for a minute. You are here asking for help, and that is very smart.

Please don't hurt yourself anymore, that is NOT the way to deal with this. I know it's hard, and I know it makes you feel bad. But there are better ways of dealing with abuse, and again, yes, this is abuse.

Emotional abuse can be harder to heal than physical abuse. With physical abuse the scars and bruises heal and go away. But with emotional abuse your heart is hurt, your self-confidence is shot.

What does your Mom say about this? Is she abusive also?

Please stop hurting yourself. Don't self injure anymore. He is not worth the pain you are putting yourself through. I wish I could snatch you up and show you what a loving environment is like, but I can't. I can only help you here with words and support.

Please talk to a teacher or counselor at school. They can help, that's their job.

As far as self-injuring (do you mean cutting?), instead of doing that, please come here, there are tons of people who would like to help you here.

pinkface92

No, my mom isn't abusive, she doesn't seem 2 notice that it hurts me what he says. She thinks that he is such a great father and that its just constructive criticism. I can't talk 2 her about my dad because she will get mad if I say anything bad about him. Its just that I hav a low self seteem most of the time so everything he says I'm stupid enough 2 believe. My father works for the government and goes away alot, so I'm hoping he'll go away again soon. I'm actually happy when hes not around and i rarely ever self injure when he's gone. Anyways thank u for your answer!!! It helpsss. : )

N0help4u

Some parents mistakenly think that by telling their kid they are lazy and selfish and no good and so forth will push them to prove their parents they are wrong.
Some parents do it because they are so miserable with their self and it is actually how they feel about their self.
You really do need to find an adult to talk to.
Can you try saying to your dad that he doesn't know anything about you or your feelings and if he treated you better you wouldn't feel so messed up about things.

andrea_louise

Im glad I found you on this. I have been in the same situation as you. Me and my dad do not get on. I have 4 brothers and 3 sisters (I was the one he picked on). From an early age my dad called me stupid (in front of anyone), I was useless at everything and nobody would ever want me. I was unpopular at school because I was so quiet and I'd hide behind my hair, I had no self confidence and no self esteem as my dad took that away from me.
It was only when I was 19 that I finally stood up to him, I told him that he was a heartles bully and I was never stupid in the first place because I managed to excell in my studies and got into social work which is one of the most difficult course to get into in N.Ireland.
Now, I moved over here and I refuse to speak to him because why should I let him put me down?! I dont need him in my life and all the negative comments that come with it.
If I were you I would talk to a teacher who you feel really close to.Its not your fault the the way he treats you, he is a bully and what he is doing is emotional abuse.