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    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #41

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:41 AM
    What do you mean? What do you want to know?
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #42

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:43 AM
    Nothing too personal, just I donno, about you:p
    I like knowing about people....... it makes it easier for me to help/analyze. Y'know?
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #43

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:43 AM
    Mine is stalking me. He has been out of my life for 17 years and was only in it for 11. As soon as her left my mom he cut off all ties with us. He never let my mom work (he was abusive to all of us) so my mom was unable to get a decent job and she had to work three jobs to feed, cloth and house us. My mom had to fight the courts everywhere to get child support from him.

    A few years ago my dad was arrested in a child pornography sting and I wrote a letter to the judge detailing what a terrible person he was (I thought it might help since he had no priors) since then he has been stalking me. (his case was thrown out on a technicality btw). Nobody will do anything because his letters are not threatening they are just well, creepy. He lives across the country so restraining orders don't work.

    Everyone in family tells me to let go and let it be. I've forgiven him for everything but he is such a disgusting human being who is impossible to have a relationship with. Everyone feels like I shouldn't be mad when he won't leave me alone. But my family doesn't understand that I'm the one that has to deal with being harassed all the time. Its so frustrating.

    This is a man who would quit jobs or take jobs where friends paid him under the table to avoid garnishment for child support. He was so bad to all of us and I tried once as an adult to get to know him since he kept saying he changed. Well he didn't and all he did was berate me and put down my mother.

    Just needed to unload. Thanks guys
    nauticalstar420's Avatar
    nauticalstar420 Posts: 3,699, Reputation: 423
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    #44

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    Mine is stalking me. He has been out of my life for 17 years and was only in it for 11. As soon as her left my mom he cut off all ties with us. He never let my mom work (he was abusive to all of us) so my mom was unable to get a decent job and she had to work three jobs to feed, cloth and house us. My mom had to fight the courts everywhere to get child support from him.

    A few years ago my dad was arrested in a child pornography sting and I wrote a letter to the judge detailing what a terrible person he was (I thought it might help since he had no priors) since then he has been stalking me. (his case was thrown out on a technicality btw). Nobody will do anything because his letters are not threatening they are just well, creepy. He lives across the country so restraining orders don't work.

    Everyone in family tells me to let go and let it be. I've forgiven him for everything but he is such a disgusting human being who is impossible to have a relationship with. Everyone feels like i shouldn't be mad when he won't leave me alone. But my family doesn't understand that I'm the one that has to deal with being harassed all the time. Its so frustrating.

    This is a man who would quit jobs or take jobs where friends paid him under the table to avoid garnishment for child support. He was so bad to all of us and I tried once as an adult to get to know him since he kept saying he changed. Well he didn't and all he did was berate me and put down my mother.

    Just needed to unload. Thanks guys
    I'm so glad you were able to unload! It helps people sometimes, just to talk about it. I'll tell you what though, I'd love to unload too, unload a can of whoop a$$ on my dad. Just because they give sperm does not make them "Dad". :)
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #45

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:49 AM
    No kidding we actually refer to him as the sperm donor. I always say I look forward to getting married and having my kids have a great dad. I also can't wait for my brother to have kids because I know he'll be an awesome dad and it will just be the best thing in the world to see.
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #46

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:51 AM
    That's why I made this thread. Feel free to go on for hours if you wish. And I'm happy you've moved on from that so well:)
    And that's right nauticalstar, sperm doesn NOT equal dad.:D
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #47

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:52 AM
    Oh, and how I know my momis truly humble and amzing as a human being... whenever she hears me call him "sperm donor" (or something worse) she tells me to stop because even though he is a dirtbag, he is still my father. I always come back with that might be true but if I say he isn't enough, maybe it'll come true:p
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #48

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:56 AM
    It took along time to get through it. I remember when I first started getting letters I would just sit in the middle of my living room crying hysterically. Then he would call my house non stop for hours, we would just unplug the phone and turn off the machine. Finally my roommate just started collecting the mail and not letting me look at anything until she went through it and we blocked his number. It was so tough. It still is but I feel better, its like I'm at the point that I just feel sorry for him. My brother and I are awesome amazing people with great lives and he is missing out on all of it. He has no one. He is estranged from his family after what he did to my mom.
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #49

    Jul 31, 2007, 10:59 AM
    I'm glad you've been strong and soo proud of you. I'm still affraid of my dad. I'm not sure how long it will be till I'll be okay.:(
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #50

    Jul 31, 2007, 11:04 AM
    It takes time. It really does. I never did therapy or anything like that I found it easier to work it out on my own. But it took years. I'm sure you'll get there one of these days.
    Canada_Sweety's Avatar
    Canada_Sweety Posts: 597, Reputation: 49
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    #51

    Jul 31, 2007, 11:06 AM
    Awwwe, thank you so much Glinda. It's goodto know that I'm not the only person out there who has big issues with her father for being a sperm donor:)
    need help in Dakota's Avatar
    need help in Dakota Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #52

    Oct 3, 2007, 09:50 AM
    Comment on nauticalstar420's post
    They sound like kids that need to grow up

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