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stefani1 · May 10, 2007, 10:41 AM

Its been 5 years since the divorce and my boyfriends ex still uses his last name. Is this common? :confused:

krystal1973 · May 10, 2007, 10:50 AM

Do they have children together or was she court ordered to change her name back?

tawnynkids · May 10, 2007, 11:09 AM

It is her name if she took it when they got married and she (she would have to request it) did not have it changed back legally during the divorce. Your last name does not automatically revert back to your maiden name during a divorce it would have to be requested and ordered.

Doesn't matter how long they were married. Doesn't matter if they have kids.

If she did have her name changed back during the divorce legally but is still using her married name then she is probably just lazy and hasn't changed it with social security, drivers license etc. and has to continue to use the name.

But why does it bother you?

Emland · May 10, 2007, 11:47 AM

I worked with a woman once that didn't change her married name after divorce. She didn't have kids, she said she liked the name and she also knew it drove his new wife crazy.

Fr_Chuck · May 10, 2007, 12:11 PM

In the US, the women's name normally stays the same unless she specificly asks for it to be changed back. And yes I would say that 70 to 80 percent of all of the divorced women I know keept their exs last name.

fix-what-you-broke · May 10, 2007, 12:38 PM

My mum still uses her ex husbands name, they have been divorced over 15 years now

startover22 · May 10, 2007, 01:18 PM

My mom still has my dads last name and it has been over 25 years... Don't let it get to you.

Squiffy · May 10, 2007, 01:23 PM

My ex husbands mum kept her married name forever after her divorce, some 25 years by the time she sadly passed away. Actually that is a slight lie, she actually got married again the day before she passed away, so when she died he had her new husbands name! I am almost divorced now but haven't used my married name for about 3 years now, I dropped it when we separated. Our kids have both our surnames so it was never an issue. Had the kids had only his surname, I would have kept it too. I wouldn't want the kids having a different name to me. I don't think it is any real issue. They have a paper saying they are divorced, its up to her what name she chooses to have!

stefani1 · May 10, 2007, 02:47 PM

I don't know why it bugs me. I guess I just think maybe she really isn't iver him yet. And I had never heard of anyone keeping a name after divorce. I was just curious if there was a link. This is the first man I date that has baggage so I still have concerns and or questions every now and then. Lol.

startover22 · May 10, 2007, 02:53 PM

Keep having concerns and questions and keep the lines of communication open so he knows about them. If you can talk through these things, then many of your concerns will go away.. Last name means nothing in this case. He is with you right?

stefani1 · May 10, 2007, 03:25 PM

Yes. This is true, he is with me now. But I think that a lot of my concerns with dating him is what will come of these things later, if we in fact do get married. I asked him once how come she hadn't changed her name back to her maiden name and if it bothered him that she still used his name. He siad he expected her to still use it because she has his kids. And that its not that he is letting her use it, she just never gave it back. Lol. Oh well I guess you guys are right, I should not worry about it. Im not going to let it bother me anymore =)

talaniman · May 10, 2007, 03:43 PM

Im not going to let it bother me anymore

It is common in the USA for a female to keep her married name, and its no big deal, and you should even think about it. You're the first one that I've heard ask about it to be honest.