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EarlyCupid12 · May 10, 2010, 06:14 PM

Im 16 and he is 17 we have been together for 11 months we go to school together.

Before I give you why I think I'm being used ill explain why I'm so freaking attached. Ok so my boyfriend broke up with me for no reason about 4 months into the relationship, which was 1 month after I lost my virginity to him. I was devastated I had never been heartbroken, we got back together a week or so later only to break up 3 months after, we have unprotected sex and I got pregnant and lost the baby, we weren't together then I felt a lot of pressure to get and abortion from him he said things like we caant do this I'm not ready, but I wasn't either but then it died. I didn't feel support from him I wanted to hear it'll be OK and he'd be there. Now it killed me to have to tell my dad since he's the only parent I have, my mom isn't in my life, but it really hurt I had to c my dad cry, and I dealt with the shame alone because he didn't have to tell his parents.

The third time HE broke up with me he said he felt like we were doing too many grown up things I was relly mad not sad but I was mad because everything that's adult like we do is his idea. Then the next day he wanted me back now were in this situation.

I feel like I'm being used like the only time he cares is when were having sex. He leaves me to walk by myself at school while he's with his friends laughing and having a good time, and only calls or texts me when he wants to come over, all we do is have sex when he comes over. When I try to talk to him about it and ask why we never spend time together he says I'm 17 I want to be free, now don't get me wrong I understand that I feel the same way but if you are in a relationship your girlfriend or boyfriend becomes your friend too and just because he's 17 doesn't give him the right to treat me bad, I do way too much for him for that type of treatment. And I hate to say it but I even say no were not going to have sex lets just chill, and he kind of forces me I try to get up and he takes my clothes off anyway and starts to do it, leaving me mad and feeling ashamed and hurt I cannot stop crying because I don't know what to do.

friend4u178 · May 10, 2010, 06:48 PM

He's not only using you for Sex but he's also Raping you , get rid of this loser before you spend anymore of your valuable youth on someone who clearly doesn't care. If he did he would have been there for you when you most needed him.

What a sc*mbag :rolleyes:

Sorry to be so blunt but your far better off going through a little hurt now than having to put up with being used.

Sunagin · May 10, 2010, 06:53 PM

I might not be the best when it comes to relationship advice (having posted on here recently myself) but you should leave him

You're 16 sweetie, I'm 21 and sometimes I feel like I'm too young to be tied down to one person. You can do a lot better. It sounds like you carea great deal for this person... take that care and give it to someone who deserves it.

Best wishes

Aurora_Bell · May 10, 2010, 06:55 PM

He is a total JERK!! Leave him, and NEVER look back. He is raping you and treating you like scum. Not cool! What would happen if you guys got pregnant again? Are you on the pill or is he using protection before he forces you to have sex with him?

You seem like a really nice girl, you don't deserve this.

Alty · May 10, 2010, 07:04 PM

Sc*mbag is too nice a word for this guy. Rapist, user, abuser, that's more accurate.

You need to leave. With a boyfriend like him you don't need enemies.

I know you care about him, but trust me, you're better off leaving. There are guys out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated.

We'll be here if you need support doing this.

Jake2008 · May 10, 2010, 07:32 PM

Since the beginning of time, there have been men who use women, and there have been women who let them.

In mature, established relationships, there is a friendship first, a base of communication and mutual respect for eachothers feelings. After that, is when intimacy is thought about.

I don't see where you, or him, have even begun to build a friendship of trust and mutual respect, yet you have unprotected sex. I have to ask you what did you expect might happen, and I hope that scared you enough into getting on the pill.

He sounds like he'd treat his dog better than you. He has a one track mind, which is sex, and clearly you have allowed him the impression that you are available any time he wants it. Why are you doing that to yourself.

He doesn't even stop when you say no- he has no consideration for you- you may as well be a blow up doll.

Please give your head a shake and realize that only you are in charge of your life, and only you are in charge of the decisions you make. As long as you have such a low opinion of yourself that you allow this to continue, and you have to ask 'is my boyfriend using me for sex?', then you are far too young to have a sexual relationship in the first place.

hheath541 · May 10, 2010, 07:44 PM

He says he needs to be free, then let him be free. Dump him. Kick him to curb and let someone else deal with him, or not.

I agree with the others, he's raping you. The way he acted when you got pregnant should've been enough of a sign. He doesn't care about you. He has no desire to be there when you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. The only time he wants anything to do with you is when he wants sex, if you protest, he ignores it and puts you in a position where you can either fight back or give in and lie there.

BOTH are forms of rape. Just because he's not hitting you or leaving bruises or making you bleed, doesn't mean it's not rape. ANY time you are forced, coerced, or otherwise unwillingly convinced to participate in sex, you are being raped.

Dump him. Take some time to heal. Then find someone who WON'T treat you like sh!t.

ZoeMarie · May 10, 2010, 10:47 PM

In addition to what everyone else has said, if you're in a "relationship" that's on again-off again, that's a good indication that it's not going anywhere. You guys are young and there's no sense in dealing with all this so early in life. Focus on school, a good career and the right person will come along when you least expect it.

Larken85 · May 11, 2010, 03:06 AM

Wow, this guy is raping you, if you don't realize that, then its you that has the problem. You need to tell dad that he is forcing you to have sex, hopefully your dad will put the fear of god into the guy.

Move on, get away from him, and if need be protect yourself because he sounds like he could cause some serious trouble to me.

Jake2008 · May 11, 2010, 06:57 AM

I hope she does talk to her father again. And I hope that she realizes that she is being used and abused by this 'boyfriend'.

Why she doesn't lock the door instead of inviting him over time after time is beyond me. She could stop him, but she chooses not to.

Maybe some counselling is in order, at least long enough to get her on some form of birth control.

EarlyCupid12 · May 11, 2010, 05:03 PM

Thanks everybody, even the people that tried to play me, anyway he's been acting like he doesn't care, it really hurts because I still haven't broken up with him I'm waiting for him to call first, and he hasn't yet. But some of you really helped me realize what was going on.

jmjoseph · May 11, 2010, 05:06 PM

No means no.

Find yourself a guy that knows how to respect his girl. This is not love.

God bless you.

EarlyCupid12 · May 11, 2010, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Sc*mbag is too nice a word for this guy. Rapist, user, abuser, that's more accurate.

You need to leave. With a boyfriend like him you don't need enemies.

I know you care about him, but trust me, you're better off leaving. There are guys out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated.

We'll be here if you need support doing this.

I really like him I feel like out of everything I've been through I wasted my time

BlackVY · May 11, 2010, 05:48 PM

Its not a waste of time really... it's a lesson learned... Now its time to respect yourself and find someone who treats you right and doesn't use you.

hheath541 · May 11, 2010, 06:01 PM

No matter WHAT the experience is, it's only EVER been a waste of time if you take nothing away from it. If you've learned no lesson or gained no wisdom or grown in no way, only THEN is it a waste of time.

Aurora_Bell · May 11, 2010, 06:03 PM

Yes I think it's M signature, but it says, the only thing painful about mistakes, is not learning from them.

friend4u178 · May 11, 2010, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell

Yes I think it's M signature, but it says, the only thing painful about mistakes, is not learning from them.

Not quite but close ;)

EarlyCupid12 · May 11, 2010, 06:45 PM

He called me and I tried to politely tell him how I feel, then he broke up with me I said I feel like I wasted my virginity and everything on you he said yeah and you can't change it yo'ull never get it back. He was being relly mean laughing wile I was trying to talk and he hung up on me. He said its over this is too much.. Yes I'm crying

friend4u178 · May 11, 2010, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by EarlyCupid12

He called me and i tried to politely tell him how i feel, then he broke up with me i said i feel like i wasted my virginity and everything on u he said yeah and u can't change it yo'ull never get it back. He was being relly mean laughing wile i was tryin to talk and he hung up on me. He said its over this is too much.. Yes im crying

Believe me your far better off without him , he just showed you his true colours right??

We'll all be here for you if you need to talk.

BlackVY · May 11, 2010, 06:52 PM

Originally Posted by EarlyCupid12

He called me and i tried to politely tell him how i feel, then he broke up with me i said i feel like i wasted my virginity and everything on u he said yeah and u can't change it yo'ull never get it back. He was being relly mean laughing wile i was tryin to talk and he hung up on me. He said its over this is too much.. Yes im crying

I'm so sorry to hear this... wow... not a good guy at all... laughing and poking fun at your pain... you really deserve better... just mke sure you learn from this lesson... don't let a guy use you ever again and stay away from jerks as much as you can...

We are all here for you...