[Kia]

And its my fault. I take the responisbility for putting myself on the chopping block, and knowing who I was dealing with. My question is.. what do I do now? Would it make a difference if I called over and over just to show that I am not okay with being ignored? If I don't call & don't answer the phone does that say I am okay with being treated this way? Do I let him ignore me forever, do NC even though I know he probably won't care, but I will probably feel bad. I have low self esteem; I admit it; I'm working on it. Partly because of my looks, sometimes I feel good about them sometimes I don't. When I don't that's when I let myself do stupid things. I'm trying to stop though, but it's a day by day thing. Needless to say I am not dating or seeing anyone else.

But basically how do I save face when I do stupid things and sleep with someone who has had a history of dogging me out , and sleeping with me and disappearing. I guess I was stupid to think it would be different this time... but I digress. Any suggestions?

[justcurious55]

We all do "stupid" things sometimes. But as long as we can learn from our experiences it really isn't so bad. So it sounds like you hooked up with someone you knew was a jerk and then afterwards they were still a jerk. Lesson: don't do it again. If they're not treating you right, move on, find someone who will. It might be rough, but you will get over it. I wouldn't waste the time or breath to call and tell him. That energy could be used painting your nails and finding a cute pair of shoes for your next date, with a nicer guy ;)

[imation]

I agree with justcurious55
He is well and truly not worth calling and you are definitely in need of "me" time.
Forget him, he's a loser, no doubt about it.
Once you move on and start having fun he will look at you and may even try again, that's where the new you tells him to step off cause you've had enough of his s***.
Be strong, be you, confidence is key.

[MasuBhat]

i agree with justcurious55
he is well and truly not worth calling and you are definately in need of "me" time.
forget him, he's a loser, no doubt about it.
once you move on and start having fun he will look at you and may even try again, thats where the new you tells him to step off cause you've had enough of his s***.
be strong, be you, confidence is key.

Agree.

[simoneaugie]

Just because he can behave like a royal jerk doesn't mean that he is unworthy of your love and attention. But, what do you want in a relationship? How can you get it? The advice above is excellent. Take care of you. Your self-esteem does not prosper when you go back to him, so quit it.

[talaniman]

Until you stop seeing him, through no contact whatsoever, you will never break his hold over you, and never get away from this insanity.

Insanity-Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

[Kia]

Ok, I just need to vent because no one in my life knows what I did with him on Friday. I am really hurt that I haven't heard anything from him today for valentines day. I feel hurt, angry, and just want to blow up his phone constantly and interrupt whatever he is doing. I hate him so much, mostly because my emotions have been tied up all these years, and he continues to treat me the same. I hate that I fell for him, and I hate that he still never seems to care. He couldn't even send me a valentines text... nothing...

I fell so abandoned by the whole concept of love; I really do. It's unfair, it hurts, and you can't seem to runaway from it no matter how hard you try. It f^*&s with your slf esteem if you take too many chances for it and it doesn't work out... I just hope one day I won't feel depresssed about this situation anymore. Its just hard not to feel bad about myself right now; I'm fighting it , but its hard.

[jiltedgirl]

Kia, I understand exactly how you feel and was/am in the same position as yourself. The good thing is that even if you make the same mistake over and over again, you'll just end up getting so tired and sick of it, that you'll have to give up because there will be nothing left to hang onto. Sometimes, it comes down to that and it seems you're nearing that end. There's just nothing left to save.

You know what's bad for you: him. The quicker you start NC and the longer you maintain NC--as difficult as it is--the better perspective you can grasp on the entire situation with a level head. You will be able to recall more clearly all those heartwrenching times when he hurt you. Use that to propell yourself forward and get stronger.

And one day (I know it's hard to see it now), you'll wake up, and realize that it doesn't hurt as much anymore. And after you find someone better, someone who truly appreciates you, you won't even care.

So keep your eye on the ball. Take it one day at a time. Don't be hard on yourself. If anyone, he's the one at fault. If he can't realize what a horrible person he's been/is being to you, that's his loss. I almost pity him; he'll probably end up doing that to one girl after another whereas you'll learn from this experience and move on.

Good luck!

[Cheshire2008]

Kia
He did you a favor. I suggest you read a book " He is just not that into you "
It is very insightful and funny. Also delete his number from your ceel phone. So you cannot call him. If you get and urge have a close friend to call so she can talk you out of it. He just not worth it. I know I 've been there.
Plus remember men are attracked to to helpless girls NOT HOPELESS. Lol
You cannot meet the right one while you are with the wrong one.
Keep yourself busy in no time this will pass I promise.

[jiltedgirl]

[QUOTE=Cheshire2008]Kia
I suggest you read a book " He is just not that into you "/[QUOTE]

Actually... I would recommend you NOT read this book. As a paranoid person, I read this book and it made go from a pretty chill, detached person to a really needy and demanding girlfriend with my last boyfriend. I began to suspect he was ignoring me when he wasn't or that he didn't like me. It's not that my suspicions were without good grounds, but let's just say I let my fears/insecurities/paranoia spiral a bit out of control.

Although I agree with the book, I'm not sure it'll help so much at this stage of your NC/getting over a person because you are still vulnerable. It might just make you feel worse and lower your self-esteem.

WOW. I need to stop procrastinating. Anyway, good luck KIA!!

[Kia]

Thanks for all of the advice. Ive been moving through the days; with ups and downs. I just want to get through this for good this time. I ve been praying a lot just to one day be totally over him; just to be truly happy one day wth my life and him not even cross my mind. I would be emotionally free. That would be such a blessing. I am so ready for that day. 7 years is a long time to be emotionally vulnerable to someone; and I'm ready for the next stage in my life. God willing I will get there. Ill keep you guys posted!:)